12 Lessons: Thanks, @Jeopardamy

Brains and bravery

I was imagining Amy Schneider would still be brain-slaying on the regular and thus was fully expecting to make a nod to that with a single bullet point this Feel-Good Friday morning…but alas (SPOILER ALERT) on Wednesday night her streak ended with (for me) a gaspshriekgroan or some other such completely guttural sound of shock.

F-cking Bangladesh.

Tournament of Champions this year is gonna be legit 🔥. I can’t wait. But for right now the #2 Jeopardy! run of all time leads me to do some reflection, and in doing so I made the following 12 observations:

1. Her appearance on a beloved national game show raised much-needed awareness. When my almost-80-year-old mom asked me if I’d been watching (does the woman not know me?) and commented on Amy’s courage and all that she’s doing for transgender awareness, it hit me just how many people must be taking notice, and processing the importance of it all. That’s a start.

2. Her appearance started much-needed conversation. I got a Facebook message early on in her run from a FB friend who admitted some confusion: “I’m having some trouble watching this evening. Is Amy a guy?” I replied with a basic explanation of “transgender” which immediately was met with sincere thanks. There are a lot of people who don’t “get” stuff but it doesn’t mean they’re ignorant and it doesn’t mean they aren’t allies. When people take the time to ask questions, don’t judge them; take the time to educate them, get them on board. That’s another step forward.

3. Representation matters. While I hate the (overused) word “normalize,” representation makes the strange familiar…familiarity leads to understanding and understanding can ultimately lead to acceptance. Representation is so important for people who see themselves reflected in whatever is represented, and it’s a bonus benefit if it’s also useful to those who don’t. But we need to be inclusive so that nobody who is “other” feels “less than.”

4. Man vs woman comparisons and delineations are, by and large, passé. Amy is the winningest woman in the show’s history. Which is great as a point of fact (I guess?). She’s got the second longest streak of all time, of all contestants. And that’s plain f-cking awesome. When it comes to brain sports, why differentiate between genders? (Plus you know someone non-binary is gonna come along so accept that now and be prepared for it.)

5. Life is for everyone, not just the chosen few. I know that there’s a (total BS) hierarchy in society, I know, and watching Amy’s run while simultaneously seeing the pop culture social media reaction to it both infuriated and inspired me. Privilege is such an ugly beast…we are all equally deserving of the same opportunities. We’re all here for a reason and we all have an equal right to be. Lift each other up for f-ck’s sake. Game shows are games and therefore competitive. Life is not. Cheer for each other. Give each other a hand. It’s not a zero-sum game. Amy winning didn’t take a thing away from anyone (except maybe the 80 or so folks whose asses she kicked)…and what the actual fuck does her being trans have anything to do with any of it?

6. None of us is where we are right now as a result of only our own efforts. We all have been carried on the shoulders of one giant or another. The work of some giants is more impressive than the work of others. Some “giants” aren’t so big and strong and brave, but still they raise others up. (That’s privilege for you again.) And other giants are misperceived as meek and weak and less-than-intimidating and incompetent and unworthy, and whaddya know? They move mountains and smash rocks and open minds. Remember to respect and celebrate those who raise others up. And just as anyone can be a giant, anyone can be a slayer of giants. No one is unbeatable. Which means we all have a chance. It’s like in the football playoffs…you only need to be the better team in that one game to keep playing. And is it me or is the guy who beat Amy the most meme-worthy person ever?

Well done. I did not get “Bangladesh” either.

7. We’re all people. We’re all humans. So act like a human. Be humane. We really are all the same, despite the fact that we’re all different. Leverage the core expertise that we all possess…that of being human. Be open and empathetic, even when you’re uncertain or scared. Especially when you’re uncertain and scared, actually.

8. Focusing on similarities and not differences makes life more fun. Addressing differences is necessary, sometimes…but it needn’t always be contentious and rooted in fear or loathing. When we focus on similarities, it can make dealing with differences easier. When we thoughtfully address differences, we grow.

9. Where there is courage, there is possibility. When people are brave, they open doors for strangers, and who knows what opportunity lives on the other side of the threshold?

10. Everyone makes mistakes. There are various attributions of a quote that says, essentially, “the only way to never make a mistake is to do nothing.” Or in other words, to quote a lyric from Wicked: The Musical, “those who don’t try never look foolish.” Don’t fixate on your own mistakes or those of others. Learn from them.

11. Say yes. You all know I’m a big proponent of saying yes, because you never know what chain of events a seemingly inconsequential choice will set in motion. But like a pebble can trigger an avalanche so too can a “yes” (even a begrudging one) reroute your life. This is a great article in the Times (worth a read) about the champ, and this stands out: Since her transition in 2017, Ms. Schneider said that she’s made a point to say yes to new experiences. “Because there was so much that I denied myself for so long, I’ll give anything a shot now.” Life is too short. Be yourself. Be authentic. Be unapologetic. And say yes to whatever. You are worthy and you deserve it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

12. Times have changed. So let’s go with some Bob Dylan to close out the list…because the times, they are a-changing. Afuckingmen.

Thanks to @Jeopardamy for the life inspiration. And to my friends in the Northeast, don’t forget to stock up today on the two most important Bombogenesis liquids: gas for the snowblower and alcohol for you. (What are all those milk-stockpiling people at BJ’s thinking?) (But seriously WTF are we supposed to do with two-plus feet of snow?)

As always, thanks for being here. I appreciate it, and you, more than you may realize. Good luck weathering the storm, and if you’re in an area without a shitty weekend forecast, enjoy whatever makes you happy.

Love you too.