Feel-Good Friday
The five-finger edition. (Literally more like the one-finger edition. More on that in a moment.)
Oh, Feel-Good Friday…I had such big plans for you.
You were going to be the sun-filled Florida vacation edition coming in hot from Marco Island. And I’m sure it would have been such a hopeful bit about taking calculated risks and balancing personal safety and mental health and how even though the COVID test I planned to take before I went was only a single data point that actually meant quite little, that I felt good about my decision to move to a new bubble down South for a few weeks to see my mom and my sister and her family and my aunts and uncles, to take a break from work, to recharge, refresh, renew…
But sometimes, the Universe has other plans for us. And this is one of those times.
In my case, the Universe decided that what I needed today was not to be sitting on a beach chair in SWFL but rather to be semi-reclining on the couch in my living room (because I haven’t been home enough the past 12 months) recovering from surgery yesterday on a fairly exploded left wrist. And that’s why this Feel-Good Friday post is the five- (one-) fingered edition, because it’s being written one-handed, almost entirely with my right index finger, with an occasional assist on the space bar from my right thumb.
I’ve mentioned before that the scheduling gods have shined on me with this little writing project of mine, so allow me to be the cautionary tale you didn’t know you needed: the pendulum will swing back and someone or something else will have the last laugh. I have been duly reminded of both my relative smallness in the universe and how little control I have of the big picture. Got it. Lesson re-learned.
So anyway…given my current predicament (which resulted from a slipped-on-the-ice-from-a-standing-still-position-and-shattered-my-wrist incident (skates inexplicably came out from under me as if my feet were shot from a cannon) this past Saturday), what is there to feel good about?
Physically, there’s nothing good, really. Right? Shattered wrist. Surgery. OUCH. Well, except for the fact that the surgery is in the rearview and it was first thing in the morning, which is double great. Nerve block lasted almost a full 24 hours so I didn’t have to feel the first 21 hours of post-op pain, and I woke up able to wiggle my fingers without feeling my bones move…good, good!
Add to those things the mere fact that my dominant hand still works just fine, which is also good in and of itself…so even with the unplanned and somewhat unpleasant week I’ve had I do actually feel good physically about a few things. And if my right wrist had broken my fall (and been broken in my fall) I likely would be sitting here now able only to tap out some sad, left-handed, single-finger apology for missing a scheduled installment of The Pedestrian Pundit…but nope, my right hand is in top form so here I am tapping away, feeling good while feeling bad. And sad. And mad.
But also glad! A few years back (2005) I had a fairly catastrophic break of my right wrist, and I’m not sure the adhesives would have held up or what kind of worse mess I’d be in now if that had been the offended appendage.
So whaddya know? There’s another something quite good.
Anyway, moving along, I fell backward, hard, but I didn’t hit my head. Also awesome.
So despite being in recovery, not on vacation, and out of commission for the foreseeable future, there are still quite a few things to feel pretty pretty pretty good about, physically, this Friday.
Mentally, well…despite this, er, mishap, there’s a surprising collection of things that put the good in “Feel-good Friday.” Not this though…
I know, I know…enough bellyaching about this stupid surgery and this cancelled vacation.
For f-ck’s sake. Pull yourself together.
Ok, ok, ok. Just had to get it out of my system.
Anyway, mentally, there’s still plenty of really great stuff going on this fine Friday, and it all boils down to one two-word thing:
This week certainly reinforced something I already knew, but the reminder (and the associated positive impacts) really amplified its importance. Mind over matter is a real thing, and controlling my response, my attitude, my focus, my everything, really, has made all the difference. Here are the big three manifestations of that:
No “shoulda coulda woulda” anti-self talk. I didn’t do anything stupid or dangerous. Accidents happen. I can’t turn back time and would probably do the same thing under the same circumstances with the same information 100 out of 100 times. The die is cast. Move on.
No “why me?” Because why not me? Going to steal some Hamilton lyrics here… “life doesn’t discriminate…it takes…and we keep living anyway.” Shit happens. All the time. Shit happened to me. In the grand scheme of things, this is a fairly trivial inconvenience.
It takes a village and holy Christ is my village ever the best. From the support and the compassion from the company I was keeping when I wiped out to my fantastic caretaker/chauffeur/cook/coffee maker/cleaning lady (who also does snow removal and shopping and whatever else I need) to my amazing family (special shout-out to my sisterfriend Monica!) to my friends who have reached out with thoughtful and sincere offers of providing any assistance at all (including beer runs), I am truly blessed. If love could mend broken wrists, I’d not have needed any surgery.
I easily could be focused on the negative, like how much it hurts (like hell sometimes and just uncomfortable at others) or how much I can’t do, and just been an all-around Debbie Downer. But that a) changes nothing about what happened and b) ruins what is. Plus, it was confirmed earlier in the week for me that if a thought wasn’t making me feel better, I was better off moving on from it:
I’ve also learned a few new things since Saturday, including:
Trying to put on a mask with one hand turns your ear into a slingshot. Which is kind of funny but also annoying. They make you take your mask off and wear one of their masks at the doctor’s office…and then just watch as you shoot them off your ear across the waiting room, when all you want to do is cover up, check in, give them your (overpriced) copay, and get things over with. I had someone keep giving me clean masks but not one single offer to loop that piece of elastic over my ear…
Some things are really easy to do one handed in one direction, but then ridiculously hard (borderline impossible) in the other. A few notable ones stick out. Like you can take a chip clip off a bag of Tostitos one handed as if the chip clip were made for that. Now try to fold the bag closed and clip it with one hand. Actually don’t try it. You’ll get annoyed and your chips are gonna get stale anyway. Or making a bowl of oatmeal. Pretty straightforward, just takes a bit longer than usual. Now try to eat that same bowl of oatmeal with nothing to hold the bowl in place. See what I mean?
Take help when people offer it. It will make both parties feel better. There are better uses for “heroism” anyway, so don’t bite off your nose…
Also worth a mention here is The Comfy. It is not some kitsch-y “as seen on TV” thing. After I got one for Christmas, I was surprised by how quickly mine became my “on the couch” staple…and now it’s a downright godsend. Being able to stay cozy with essentially a wearable blanket-hoodie that works great with my splint and doesn’t keep falling onto the floor, well, you have no idea. But trust me, it’s a difference-maker.
I take so many things for granted every day. Getting dressed. Putting my hair in a ponytail to go to the gym. Going to the gym at all, regardless of hairstyle. And being able to drive myself there. Or anywhere. Cutting my own food. Putting deodorant on my right underarm. Taking a screenshot on my iPad. Opening Amazon deliveries. And the list goes on. While I’m not going to beat myself up for not fully appreciating those mundane, everyday things as joys of the journey or encourage you to celebrate every time you put a nice tight towel turban on your head after showering (or just celebrating the shower itself), this past week has blindingly illuminated the importance of practicing the fine art of mindfulness and the importance of tuning in more to even the smallest moments of life. Who knows? Maybe I have appreciated them all along…but now I definitely appreciate them differently.
One thing I’m quite sure of is that I’ve appreciated how pretty it’s been all week while I’ve been sitting around doing nothing but keeping my arm elevated atop an Everest-approximating pillow pile…and I’m also not on snow-removal duty. So there’s that too.
And lastly, here are a couple of can’t-miss “feel-good” items not about me to round out the week:
This Alex Trebek-related gem of a story:
Amanda Gorman’s Super Bowl performance:
And now I’m gonna send us into the weekend with this one-hit wonder from Chumbawamba, because I may have gotten knocked down.
But I’ll get up again.
So watch out.
(And also because I really could use a whiskey drink. And a vodka drink. And a lager drink. And, since push really has come to shove as it were, a cider drink.)
(That album cover is a thing of nightmares though, no?)
Have a great weekend.
P.S. I’d also like to take this opportunity to officially announce my retirement from not-quite recreational not-quite skating. If anyone wants to buy a pair of practically new (but possibly (probably?) cursed) size 9 men’s hockey skates, I’m selling. Hit me up for deets.
Wait-I love this! When did you start writing this blog??? I want to subscribe ☺️ You are a brilliant writer -even though you are hurt, you made ME feel better! Please keep this up and put me on the mailing list. Feel better my friend. I broke my right wrist badly at age 25 playing basketball. Lol
"I am truly blessed. If love could mend broken wrists, I’d not have needed any surgery." Another quote of yours I love. Thanks for the great reading and perspectives. I hope your recovery is quick!