Hello! I don’t know about you but I find Tuesday to be the toughest day as a rule. It’s just a dead spot in the week, you know? Monday has its own set of issues, but not all bad as new weeks start with a bump of energy, a bit of hope. Wednesday can claim Hump Day, Thursday is Friday Eve, and Friday, well, Yabba Dabba Do! But Tuesday…?!!!??
Anyway, Tuesday’s the day when I write with a specific focus on transformation. Change is a constant—it’s not something that happens only on Tuesdays. And change is not always transformation, necessarily. Transformation is more dramatic than change. Definitionally, transformation can be good or bad. Progress can be forward or backward. I talk about transformation in terms of progression and improvement, as the change that helps and inspires and motivates me, that challenges me to learn and grow—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—in both professional and personal capacities. I see transformation as change on a grand scale and here are three of the transformational things (completely unrelated to one another) that I’m reflecting on today:
1) Naomi Osaka pulling out of French Open. I think the ultimate transformation comes when we learn hard truths about ourselves and take bold (sometimes scary) moves in honor of those lessons. This is a classic case of that and I give props to her for taking care of herself—she’s at the top of her game and with a lot at stake, but she realized there’s so much more to life than tennis. The fact that she spoke candidly shows that it’s getting more ok to talk about mental health but much of the reaction shows that there’s still a long way to go. Progress that’s also sadgress—it’s great that we’ve come this far but its so sad that we’ve only come this far…either way it’s so important to take care of ourselves and each other.
2) Going back to the office in September, and trying to fight the associated Pre-TSD of it all. Last week, in one issue of the Boston Globe, two prominent pieces focused on post-pandemic living. One, a front-page story, focused on the word and concept of “languishing.” That’s a term that seems to be all the rage these days—not depression per se but rather a bit of a life lull, a routine rut. The other was in the opinion pages, where the contributor mused on the pandemic-imposed inertia, and how hard it is to break free of it. When I read these two articles it took me back to the pandemic’s early days, when there was so much talk of how unsettling things were and I felt like a bit of a lone wolf, as the only thing I was feeling unsettled about was not feeling unsettled…and here I am again, not languishing, and not finding it hard to break out of the inertia.
Newsflash: I like this life better. I’m happier. Less wound up. More in control. Better rested. And so on. When people shriek with glee about things getting back to normal, I recoil. I’ve thought a lot about why that might be and the answer is surprisingly simple—I don’t want to go back to normal. I want to go forward to normal. I don’t want the old way. There is so much good to come from this forced pause. Simpler pleasures, slower paces. Smaller groups, higher engagement. Sure, it was different and parts of it sucked but parts of it were amazing. I have been fortunate not to have been negatively impacted by COVID the virus, knock wood. I have, like everyone else, been impacted by the lockdown, though primarily in positive ways. So instead of being blindly excited about going back to normal, I suggest that you give some thought to going forward to normal, to taking the lessons learned and making each day better than the last…don’t go back to normal. There’s a lot of heavy baggage back there. Leave it.
I also learned a new word this week, a word that should be part of this discussion. Less spuddling => less languishing => inertia breakthrough, right? Stop it with all the wasted spuddle time and start focusing on results, however small. 😂😂😂
3) Pride month. I’ve been reflecting on this a bit since June rolled around and I started to see a lot of negative stuff about rainbows everywhere, about companies co-opting Pride as a money-making scheme, and I wasn’t responding with the same anger or indignation, though I do kind of understand it. In the “olden” days, the gay symbolism was all about the pink triangle, horrific origins in the Nazi concentration camps—a badge of shame, ultimately reclaimed as a badge of honor, -ish. The reclamation of the pink triangle flipped the representation of it, claimed some ownership, but given where society was at the time, there was still something very stigmatic about it. The display of the pink triangle was a bold and brave statement, but it was sending a message that most people weren’t willing to listen to. In the late 70s the rainbow took over as the primary symbol of a movement, a kindler, gentler symbol…over time more colors have been added to it, and the inclusion has gotten broader and at the same time more specific…the visibility and evolution of the symbol has been accompanied by increased visibility of a marginalized population and evolution of society’s perceptions of them. Pride is a whole month now, it used to be a day…and before that it was nothing but shame and fear and loathing and hiding…every…damn…day. So yes, it’s a big deal and we should all feel good about the progress, but there’s still a long way to go.
Personally, I’m all for the Pride products…businesses are in business to make money…and if it raises visibility and advances attitudes, I’ll take it.
But how about we do even better? How about we stop finding anything salacious or titillating about orientation or gender or anything? How about we reach a point where we don’t need a Pride anything or an Anything anything for that matter because we as a society have transformed to the point where we’ve normalized difference and just let people be? Wouldn’t that be something?
Progress. Sadgress. But transformation nonetheless. Symbolic. Attitudinal. Practical. And worth celebrating.
The moral of the story is that transformation is a never-ending journey. It’s not an endpoint. We can celebrate whatever victories we choose but we have to stay committed to personal evolution and growth. It’s what makes life fun and challenging and worth it, if you ask me.
Before I leave you I’d like to give a shoutout to a faithful reader/supporter and the birthday girl in our house as we mark the anniversary of her birth today…she is someone who inspires me to do better and be better every day. In how she lives, she reminds me how important it is to stay open and to roll with things, to give people the benefit of the doubt and not to take everything so seriously. She makes me smile. She is amazing, and the best thing she does is make my heart happy…all day, every day. Happy birthday, Kerri—you’re the best!
Let’s start the day with this one, because I am.
Thanks for being here all—I appreciate you!