Grab a lasso. Because it's time for a roundup.

Dog days of summer…

As I sat out back Monday after “work” (which these days consists of me looking for paid work or doing unpaid work, like writing) I enjoyed the break from the humidity and the heat, but I also felt the coolness a bit different, saw the light shifting…like even though we still have five weeks left of Summer, I could feel Fall knocking.

Monday early-evening sky, double-exposed, one flipped over the other.

So today as I toy with the notion that Fall is creeping in, I also wonder where the last 11 years have gone…and I think more deeply about the passage of time today than I do on other days, for a host of reasons. The main ones are: 1) to acknowledge how fast it goes; 2) to remind myself that the only way to trick myself into thinking I’ve slowed it down is by being more present, to give the moments a depth and a width and a weight that they wouldn’t have otherwise; and 3) to ensure I don’t lose my appreciation of it all in what occasionally feels like a stampede of time trampling over me.

In any case, I am right here right now, dusted off and ready to go, with the monthly-ish roundup of my personal happenings:

Before my eyes—what I’m reading…

I finished Master Slave Husband Wife: And Epic Journey from Slavery by Ilyon Woo, and for me it was an epic journey from beginning to end—a real slog of an epic journey. Fortunately, the book did end sooner than the Kindle % indicated on account of endnotes and the like, but honestly it did not end soon enough. You know I won’t plot spoil here but for me the bottom line is this: could have been a magazine article and the ending didn’t hold up all the pages that came before it. Hit me up if you want my summary of the interesting parts of it—I’m glad to know the major plot line now, but the book kind of spoiled it (for me).

I then read and absolutely adored Amor Towles’ Rules of Civility. I feel like it’s the first book I have read in a long time that I can say I loved. It gave me so much to think about, in the Sliding Doors kinda way that I’m quasi obsessed with (that’s the whole notion of how one thing happening or not happening changes *everything* that ensues.) This was a great read for me as I adore a book that sets up the ending and then you spend the whole book excitedly connecting the dots, not exactly how you’re ever get to where the book started…and when it does, you’re exhilarated, exhausted, happy, wistful…all of the feelz, all authentic, and you’re completely satisfied as a reader. This book did that for me. Towles’ other books that I have read (haven’t gotten to his new one yet) are also amazing, and now my ranking stands at 1) Rules of Civility, 2) The Lincoln Highway (link to my thoughts on that if you’re interested), and 3) A Gentleman in Moscow (no link because I read it pre-Pundit).

I just started Tommy Orange’s Wandering Stars but due to attention-span and general focus issues am having trouble getting into it. “Everyone” loved his There There, which I haven’t read (yet), so when this one was in the “Your lucky day” section of the Libby app, I checked it out and decided to go for it. This week I’ve started sitting outside without distraction for some time each day, trying to re-ignite the fire of my reading habit—so far, so-so. All the other books in my pile are collecting dust, even Anne Lamott’s Bird By Bird which I am still at the start of—I’m still enjoying it, but without any ability to apply my too-fragmented brain, so at some point I need to cut through this mental fog and focus…otherwise I will never break through.

Before my eyes, Part 2—what I’m watching…

The Olympics. I love the Olympics, and I won’t belabor a point I already made (belabored) here.

Here are some of the moments that stuck out to me as I viewed them (though there are way too many to mention), in no particular order:

• Track and field had a number of heart-pounding and heart-breaking moments. Some of the races were soclose. (Same for swimming.)

  • The US women were amazing, and the men had some bright spots (though the 4x100 relay was a disaster). While I am happy for Gabby Douglas and Syndey McLaughlin-Levrone for meeting high expectations, I am extra-happy for Sha’Carri Richardson and her redemption tour. Too many outstanding performances to list. USA! USA! USA!

  • Not to stereotype…but the woman’s discus winner (Val Allman, from the USA) was shockingly tiny.

  • Sweden’s Armand Duplantis chasing his own pole vault world record was amazing—the whole stadium was behind him and an American was his hype man/help man (keeping the crowd engaged or quiet as needed). Then I can’t remember if it was the American or someone else waving his hands as if to “fan” him over the bar. It was so great to watch the camaraderie and engagement, especially given that the medals had already been decided. I’m glad Duplantis didn’t squander any of his attempts—there’s something to be said for not resting on one’s laurels. Like achieving the goal and crossing a higher bar.

• Speaking of pounding hearts, I loved seeing some of the athletes and/or their fans wearing monitors to show the impact that participating/spectating had on their heart rates. I know mine saw some spikes along the way, as confirmed by both my Oura ring and Apple watch. Data is everywhere, and knowledge is power!

• In the Women’s Beach Volleyball final the teams from Canada and Brazil were really going at it, jawing at each other through the net—it was great! As the commentators explained just how unusual that kind of back and forth is in the sport, the DJ at the venue started playing All You Need is Love 🤣🤣🤣…the crowd was going bananas! But seriously…the uniforms. I can’t even fathom trying one on let alone diving all over the red-hot sand dressed like this (though the Brazilians’ unis seem more sensible):

  

  And the real kicker is they never seem to adjust what little of them there is. I squirm just looking at the pics.

• I was busy the morning the USWNT played in the gold-medal soccer game so I recorded it, went off the grid, and in the afternoon we treated ourselves and watched the game on delay while we floated in the pool with ice cold cans of Mich Ultra. It was a glorious time, a huge win for the team, a reflection on how sometimes a change will do you good (I think they said it was their new coach’s 4th match at the helm), and would have been perfect if the lawn guy didn’t show up with about two minutes left in the game. (Needless to say we subsequently sent in the request to the landscaping company that if they can’t come by Friday, to please skip us until the following week. Nothing like a giant loud mower/trimmer/blower powering through your peaceful day in the yard, while your neighbors have a big crowd for their kid’s first birthday 🤦🏼‍♀️.)

• US Women’s Gymnastics team was awesome, but why must we infantilize them? They are not babies, little girls, or delicate dolls. They are grown, strong women—so why aren’t they treated as such? (Case in point, Simone Biles’ adoptive parents are actually her parents, and there was so much focus on them—and much less focus on the fact that she is an independent married (to an NFL player) woman. 🤷🏼‍♀️)

  • Simone is badass, though. She took a lot of heat for quitting on the team in Tokyo (2020) when really she was putting both herself and the team first. Coming back as dominantly as she did reinforces that she made the right move—she took the time to get her physical and mental strength back and look at the outcome. Say no more—medals speak louder than words.

  • Speaking of medals…Jordan Chiles getting her medal stripped is a travesty. Rules are rules, but stupid rules are just stupid. This goes to show that bad process leads to bad outcomes. Seriously. The problem was a judges’ error—in what universe does it make sense to put the burden on the performing athlete (and their team) to monitor this in the heat of battle? And then they give them one frenetic minute to make their appeal, also in the heat of battle…only to say, well after the fact, “you got to us four seconds late.” Are they timing these things like a swimming relay or something??? They say “Whoops” and move on…meanwhile the impacted athletes deal with the results *forever*. It makes no sense. Zero.

• The Women’s hoops team put a long Olympic winning streak at risk, but squeaked it out in the gold medal game vs France, winning by 1.

  • Brittany Griner played tough in the first half of that final game giving the team a much-needed offensive spark…and her emotion during the National Anthem and after the win proved that you can take the girl out of the Russian prison but you can’t take the Russian prison out of the girl. Haters gotta stop hating on her. She has been through it.

  • Kelsey Plum’s play is why they won that final game. I know A’ja Wilson got the MVP, but Kelsey Plum gave them something extra.

  • Also, in basketball (as in pretty much everywhere), success almost always comes back to basics. In this case that means playing defense, boxing out, making good shot selection, protecting the ball, and sinking free throws. The US team did not do those things solidly or consistently, and that was why the game was so close, IMO. But what do I know?

  • They won the gold medal. So can we stop with the “Caitlin Clark should have been there” argument. She wasn’t, they won…the streak’s alive, so let’s move on to LA 2028 (and see how the Fever finish their WNBA season), please.

• Speaking of LA28, the closing ceremony was (as many opening and closing ceremonies are) very cerebral…until the US took over and Tom Cruise “jumped” into the stadium and rode off on a motorcycle in a move that seemed a little, er, extreme—showboat-y, US ego-y, over the top.

I’ve been watching the Red Sox half-heartedly (they’re doing better than expected but haven’t galvanized as a team enough to really engage my fandom) and Jarren Duran’s recent homophobic slur caught on a hot mic breaks the half of my heart that’s still invested in them…I feel like using a slur isn’t a mistake or a slip…if that language is part of your vernacular, you feel a certain (negative) way. Sorry not sorry. Public reaction has been, enlightening…in a very dark way. So many people defending him. Saying he didn’t mean it disparagingly. Lining up to buy his jersey. Trashing Mayor Wu for requesting a meeting with him. And the fact that all of this isn’t shocking to me is quite telling. The hate is real, it runs deep, and seeds for future crops of hate are being sown under the guise of political nourishment as I type.

And of course the new season of The Bachelorette has our attention. (I’m not exactly babying my brain cells of late. 🤦‍♀️) Jenn’s words and actions seem a touch out of alignment to me. And if you’re reading this, Jenn, allow me to repeat this friendly reminder: things resonate with you…you don’t resonate with things. In closing—even though I continue to watch—I stand firm that if your main thing is looking for true love, then keep the main thing the main thing, get your quest off national TV, and give it the time and space it means. Real relationships are not entertaining. 😂

We *finally* finished the final season of The Crown, but as anyone who is a royal watcher knows, the real story is far from over!

And then, of course I’m watching (following in general) some of the Election 2024 coverage, and I continue to be dismayed, disillusioned, and disappointed. “Funny” thing is, I’m noticing a certain pattern in how I’m feeling and what I am thinking, thanks to Facebook memories. Anyhow, some observations from this time around:

• I have not felt excitement around the Democratic ticket like this since Obama, and even so, this is different. There’s a more powerful energy. And it doesn’t feel like it’s about “a woman” or “a Black woman” (or “an Indian woman” for that matter, not to mention “a Black-Indian Woman with a White Jewish husband.”) The energy smells of freedom and it feels rooted in history and democracy while at the same time soaring toward a better future. And there’s an extreme proportional response from the opposition, and “they” still seem to make personal and not substantive attacks.

• Trump saying he has bigger crowds than MLK is just 😂😂😂, and I’m not sure if he was or wasn’t almost in a helicopter crash with or without Willie Brown, talking about Kamala Harris or not but the more he talks the less sense he makes.

• Question for all the folks who were screeching about conspiracy theories in the wake of that Vegas music festival shooting when the media all but vanished and who are silent now…I feel like the coverage of the assassination attempt went into some (the same?) black hole. What is going on??? Where’s the indignation now??? What’s good or bad for one side is bad or good for the other, no? It’s weird that there was an assassination attempt on Trump, people died, and once he took the Pamper off his ear it was like it never happened. I think this is an appropriate time to use “weird” to describe the situation.

• Speaking of “weird,” it’s not ok to call JD Vance or the whole Republican Party “weird” but it is ok to call VP Harris “Crazy Kamala”? Can we outlaw hypocrisy???

• I’m not sure why putting tampons in boys’ rooms makes Tim Walz unelectable.

• Are those JD Vance in drag pics legit, and if so was he mocking the Virgin Mary? Either way he could have walked right into that Bacchanalian (NOT Last Supper) scene in the Opening Ceremonies.

• I’m not sure that people really get that the President alone doesn’t do much…ame the VP does even less. Yet you’ve got JD Vance saying that people will vote for Trump not him…and he’s challenging Harris to a debate??? And somehow “the Republicans” think the VP is to blame for what ”they” see as Biden’s faults. The math isn’t mathing. You need to make the math math.

• In summary, here’s how I feel right now: Did or didn’t Kamala Harris turn black? Did or didn’t Donald Trump fake bone spurs? Did or didn’t Tim Walz get a DUI in 1995? Did or didn’t JD Vance f-ck a couch? These are the things we’re currently picking at, sparring about, and in some cases getting into very heated shoving matches over. We’re holding them up as some sort of trophy, thrilled to have some “gotcha” moment. The more we do this, the more we move away from talking about important issues, the more we retreat in different directions, we’re polarizing and not uniting. We collectively need to do a better job sorting out the critical details from the irrelevant ones, a better job of focusing on core issues, and on developing crystal clarity about why we are digging our heels in wherever we’re digging them in. Here’s the thing…I know that the character of a candidate counts. But are we focusing our attention and our efforts on the right things and in the right places to exact substantive change? So I’m proposing that —as this Presidential Election heats up—if we put up a political post personally attacking any candidate, that we also take time to explain why this particular fact undermines the person’s ability to be a good _____________________. (For example—it’s ok to poke fun at Tim Walz for looking old or JD Vance for wearing eyeliner, but it’s not ok to say they’re sh-tty candidates for those reasons. Satire is fine, hate is not.) We have to get away from broad meaningless characterizations (weird, woke, etc.) and start getting explicit about our feelings, beliefs, and positions. I’ve decided that this is one way to break the cycle of groupthink, of uninformed decision making, and of the seeming complete disregard for facts. Even children know that if you don’t connect the dots in the right order, you’re gonna get a scribble…not a clear picture. So let’s all do our parts to connect the dots appropriately, to educate each other, to keep our focus on substantive issues, and to get to work on reasonable solutions.

In my ears…

In a move that’s equal parts predictable and stereotypical, we’re heading into the city Saturday to see a concert co-headlined by Indigo Girls & Melissa Etheridge, at one of my favorite venues, the pavilion formerly known as Harborlights. I’ve started some auditory pre-gaming, mainly because it’s been a while since I’ve gone deep into the catalog of either artist. (TBH, I’ve never loved ME’s music because I never loved her. I skipped that craze. That said, revisiting her stuff reminded my of how good she is, tipped me off to my shortsightedness, and taught me a lesson. I guess for some reason it bothered me that she stole La Bamba’s (Lou Diamond Phillips) wife. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (And seriously, who am I to judge?) That said, I remember buying her Yes I Am CD at Lechmere on Middle Street and thinking that the purchase alone was some kind of meaningful statement. God, times have changed.)

But the big surprise for me came when I started listening to the Indigo Girls’ older stuff. Yeah I can sing “Closer to Fine” and “Galileo” and “Kid Fears” and “Ghost” and “Hammer and a Nail” in my sleep, and their covers of “Midnight Train to Georgia” and “Uncle John’s Band” are in pretty regular rotation. But I was completely unprepared for the surge of old and long forgotten feelings and the extreme emotions they dredged up when I listened on my way to pickleball last night. Everything was going fine until I head the first few notes of “Love Will Come to You”, a song I hadn’t heard or thought about in decades, and there I was belting it out while I was also choking up. What the what?

But let me take a step back…I first heard the Indigo Girls when I was a senior in college (1989), and I was a different person then. One of my roommates was an REM groupies so she met her boyfriend for a concert, probably at Syracuse, where he went to school. Anyway, she came back with the Indigo Girls’ CD and she would not shut up. So we indulged her. I was immediately hooked. (We saw REM later in the tour at the Portland Civic Center but by then the Indigo Girls had moved on, sadly.) The only time I’ve seen the Indigo Girls in concert (at least that I can remember) was in 1992, at Great Woods. And guess what? I was a different person then too. So, as I prepare for Saturday’s concert, I’m thinking about the person I am now, different still, still growing…evolving.

It wasn’t the song per se that got me all stirred up, but it was the place the song took me…and in the four minutes it took to play, it transported me back and forth, helped me focus my eyes on the future, to feel all the transformation, how my life was when I first heard them sing until now…and though there wasn’t always joy in the journey, there is joy in the destination that is the here now, and there is a sense of relief in knowing that it’s all in my power to carry that joy to any and every future destination, to every here and now.

So that surge of old feelings is more a collision of feelings. Yeah, it’s old stuff, but it’s all different now, reimagined and reshaped by some 30+ years of life. Magnified, amplified, and twisted by time. I can’t go back, yet I go back. And when I do, I see—with crystal clarity—that I am an amalgamation of every exchange and every experience I’ve ever had, that even the bad things are actually good things, because of how things are right now.

While my reaction caught me way off guard and was a bit jarring, upon reflection it’s a very important reminder. We often forget about all our layers, and all the “treasures” buried in them. At least I do. I’m looking forward to going to see them with Kerri…and I’ll be bringing some tissues as more emotional artifacts are sure to be discovered.

But what will I wear???

Eats, drinks, and all the other things…

In the kitchen it’s been a rotation of reliable favorites, mainly due to the fact that when we’re entertaining we want to be visiting with our guests, not running around like a couple of caterers. So recently that has meant sheet pan eggplant parmesan; banana snacking cake with slated caramel glaze; gnocchi with sausage, peppers, and onions; and blueberry crisp with oatmeal topping.

Thanks to some guests we got to enjoy the delectable ice cream cookie sandwiches from Foley’s Ice Cream…a real summer treat! (Thanks, friends!)

Started by splitting the Graham Central Station (OMG) on Monday(OMG), then shared the Blueberry Crumble (so good!) yesterday…will be a coin toss for chocolate or vanilla today with the final one to be consumed Thursday. I’m not sure how they do it, but the cookies are chewy straight from the freezer.

I’ve been enjoying assorted adult beverages ranging from the aforementioned Michelob Ultras to some tasty IPAs to wine (red, white, and rose, though not all in the same sip!), and of course the occasional bourbon drink, in particular this Boulevardier, a nice offset to the Sunday Scaries.

I was originally planning to smoke it but the second big ice cube took the drink to the top and killed that plan. The drink did not suffer, though I may have a little. 😂

We’ve also been continuing to play pickleball twice a week. (And, according to one intense gal at the Monday drop-in who is about 30 years younger than I, we are getting much better (Thanks, Coach! 🤦🏼‍♀️)) It’s a really fun workout and I especially love that there is a mental aspect too. You have to stay engaged, unlike when I am on the elliptical, listening to music, and somehow gaining weight. (Also 🤦🏼‍♀️.)

I’ve also been teaming up with my sis and my mom to do some Swedish Death Cleaning at my childhood home. (If you aren’t familiar with the notion, it’s just what it sounds like, but Google away if you’re *that* curious. So much for life-changing magic and joy. Who needs it when you can death clean??? F-ck you, Marie Kondo. Time is ticking and we must purge. Right. Now.) One of my good friends recently did the same and I think we found the same doll, which gave us a shared laugh via text message bubbles.

The stuff of nightmares…

We also organized all of the Fisher-Price playsets which I adamantly opposed throwing away and am now in charge of selling. But honestly, no way was The Fisher-Price Village (or Castle, Schoolhouse, Farm, A-Frame, Circus Train, or Airport) going in the trash.

Note to self: put the helicopter with the airport the next time you’re at mom’s. (I loved that Circus Train; it belongs to my little sis but she was a great sharer. Or maybe she didn’t have a choice with two bigs.)

And now that I type that I wonder, “where was the Garage? I didn’t see the Garage!

Mom! Where is The Garage???

(I can’t ask her. She knows where it is (whether it’s there and I missed it or whether that one was gifted elsewhere in the family), but I am not kicking that hornet’s nest!)

Seriously, though, getting rid of these just feels wrong on so many levels. Trashing them is out of the question. I could live with selling them, because then someone would be enjoying them. They’re vintage, in excellent condition, and seriously—part of our childhood history and a real symbol of days gone by. I think the world might be a nicer place if we sat on the floor together for an afternoon, opening and closing the barn door and enjoying the “moo” sound.

That feels like a world worth living in…not throwing away.

But what do I know? And if we sat on the floor for an afternoon, how would we get up?

To wrap it all up…

In closing…to clarify…allow me to go back to the Sunday Scaries and talk about why I have them…because what have I been doing with my time since I am not working? Surely I am enjoying myself, a regular one-woman party. Right? Ha.When I say I have “free” time, I always use quotes around “free.” Well-meaning folk say that is is a great time of year to be “off” but to be honest my time comes with a negative cost…and now that I’ve been out of work for 3 of 4 seasons, I can say there is no good time. I’m not out floating in the pool eating bonbons or spending days at the beach (though I have done both of those things, in very short supply)…I’m inside, trying to find work as a full-time job. Doing a small consulting project or two, although nothing substantial enoughthat closes the gap for me. Or I’m working (writing) for the sheer “joy” of it. Long story short, I feel like to spend more of my time on fun things would somehow be irresponsible, and thus I’d be unable to enjoy them. It’s a real catch 22. But I do have what I think is a good idea for a funny screenplay (movie or TV show)…maybe I’ll write the book first. 😂 (Me and my big dreams…if anyone knows anyone who can help me get these dreams out of my head and into the world, let me know.)

Though—that said—you being here week after week does help me get my dreams out of my head and into the world. So there’s that, and I am something well beyond grateful.

Love you too.