Everything is apropos of something after all…so here’s what I’m thinking about now, as we near the holiday crescendo that is Christmas.
Seriously what the actual f-ck is up with this COVID spread? (That’s a rhetorical questions. To be clear.)
I had 12 hours of sheer panic Tuesday into Wednesday after the kid working the meat room told me they weren’t taking holiday roast orders this year due to “supply issues” (as he pushed a tray of dozens of prime ribs out to the case). I asked him when the butchers worked and he told me until 3pm so yesterday morning I stopped in on my way to work to get things cleared up promptly, adrenaline pumping, fully prepared to weaponize this sign:
Fortunately, though, once I stated my intention: “I’d like to place my special holiday meat order here,” the young gentleman quickly went into the back room and came out with The Notebook. So I’ve successfully ordered my 6-rib roast for 10, cut, trimmed, and tied back on the bone…let’s hope I successfully retrieve it on Christmas Eve morning and successfully cook it that night.
Speaking of supply issues Shaw’s did not have a single bottle of Gatorade (or G2 or Zero) suitably colored for a clear-liquid diet on their shelves. For real. That’s ridiculous, right? Who else even buys Glacier Cherry Gatorade???
Speaking of food, does anyone have the secret to eating Cheerios for sustenance? No matter how big of a bowl I eat, I always end up hungry. They’re delicious, don’t get me wrong. But a meal? I just can’t seem to make it work for the life of me. Maybe I need to try some banana on top.
Related to food, on to drink (kind of), I saw this ad on social this morning and thought how great it would have been…18 months ago. It made me glad I adjusted to the new and rapidly changing landscape quicker than Yankee Spirits did, and I’m also glad I’ve had no trouble finding beer, wine, and spirits readily during this seemingly never-ending pandemic, without home delivery. Cheers. (Also, if you’re paying to advertise on FB, maybe come up with a catchier “headline”?)
Speaking of ads, you know commercials in the middle of the night are awful, right? Well early this morning in my insomniacal delirium I saw one for a $19.95 (with free shipping!) (and free gifts!) airbrush face painter that made these women look a good 20 years younger, with apparent ease…and if for a split second I thought it would actually work, it would be on the way. But let’s face it, you reach a point where you’ve learned that no amount of paint can cover rotting shingles.
Speaking of TV, the 41st season of Survivor concluded last night. The show has changed so much over those how-many years, but the prize is still “only” a mil. I heard on the news the other day that if you don’t get a 7% (I think it was 7) raise this year, you’re losing money…so I definitely think the prize should be going up a bit…and since I know I will not be getting a 7% raise this year and that I have no plans to go on Survivor, I better start saving more pennies. Or buy a Powerball ticket…Saturday’s jackpot is over $350M after all.
Sticking with the subject of TV, I was late boarding the Ted Lasso train but what a sweet and funny show it is. Didn’t hurt that we saw the heart-warming Christmas episode in S2 over the weekend. Excellent timing. It always gives me laughs I don’t know I need.
Speaking of sports, glad to hear that the Jax Jags shitcanned that dirtball Urban Meyer. No, you don’t always get to do whatever you want, and no, you don’t always get away with being a prime-time pro-level DB. Actions have consequences. I find it a bit gratifying when entitled assholes like that run out of excuses.
Last one on sports, I miss kid sports now that all my local kids are grown up…so it made me really happy to go to Kerri’s cousin’s son’s hockey game last weekend. You’d have thought I had been invited to a Stanley Cup Game 7 Final at The Gahden.
Speaking of the weekend, we went out with friends to see a band at a bowling alley in Brockton on Saturday night…which might sound suspect or shady or some other such unseemly thing, but the moral of the story is simple: good friends + good music + cold beer is a winning formula, wherever you go, wherever you are.
Ok, one more on sports, because number 12…TB12…Tom Brady is the GOAT. Haters gonna hate…and if you hold a grudge for him leaving the Pats, well, unless you’ve only held one job your entire life, shut it. Seriously, how good was he in OT Sunday?
Subject change, to current events…if you didn’t believe in climate change before the Kentucky tornadoes, do you believe in it now?
Speaking of “is it real?” the other day I saw a Buick commercial on tv and what it made me realize was that I didn’t even realize they were still making Buicks. So I guess that means the commercial was effective. To some degree.
While I’m talking about things I didn’t realize, I didn’t realize that Bob Barker was still alive. So it surprised me the other day when I learned it was his 98th birthday and surprised me even more that he was celebrating it from the grassy side of the ground.
Speaking of the price being right, want to make a small and game-changing investment? Get this citrus squeezer. It’s $7 very-well spent.
Speaking of spending, Green Monday was all over the news this week. What the hell is that exactly? Anyone?
Speaking of in the news, who knew Mike Nesmith (RIP) wrote Linda Ronstadt’s best song? Hear both versions here:
And in another gem from the headlines, how about the January 6 investigation? It’s worse than I thought—Fox News anchors and his own coked-up kid begging that Orange Clown to do something to stop it, and still the egomaniac waits it out, just because he can? Because he doesn’t listen to anyone? Oof. The political landscape is still an apocalyptic wasteland right now, to put it nicely. You know how I feel about the Cheeto…and Joe Biden is maybe an inch or so in front of Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s “fame” so I’m starting to get more than a touch nervous about the 2024 election. Democrats don’t seem to have learned any lessons at all, as seen in their lack of mobilization and rallying around a suitable candidate…and while I always was semi-open to the Republican party in the past, I’m petrified by the Trumpublicans. I feel a bit like how I imagine Polly Purebred felt when Snidley Whiplash tied her to the train tracks…only without the hope that Dudley Do-Right will come and rescue me.
One last one from the (breaking) news, 5 kids in Australia were killed in a(nother) bouncy house blowing away incident…please parents, skip the bouncy houses in the wind. It makes me think of all the gender reveals gone awry…and in general all of the tragedies that are avoidable…seems we’re just a lot less sensible as a society, as a rule. We have to do a better job taking care of ourselves and each other.
Kind of breaking news in the office, can’t say that I’m sorry that our return to work date has been pushed back again, from 1/10/22 to 2/14/22. I have had to go in several times (as recently as yesterday) and when I go in, it’s perfectly fine, and even with moments of enjoyableness. I think what I’ve come to value in this (new-ish) remote environment is feeling like I own my time vs the company owning it…the Association surely benefits from the amount of extra work I put in, and I think that’s a tradeoff employers need to consider. That said, when we do go back it will be only two days a week, Mondays and Tuesdays, which is completely manageable, and very possibly pleasant enough. That said, who doesn’t like complete control?
One more before I sign off. “Excuse” and “explanation” aren’t synonyms. A fabricated explanation is an excuse. A truthful one is not. So when I give an honest reason for why I can’t _______________ please don’t comment that someone else had the same excuse.
Oh, forget it…one more…since you know I love a good cover song, here’s a great cover of Different Drum I uncovered when I learned about the Mike Nesmith-Linda Ronstadt connection.
And while we’re talking about The Lemonheads, how about one more one more to make it an even two dozen, and then I swear I’ll stop? This cover by Evan Dando is one of my fave covers of all time. I’m not sure what’s up with the video/picture but this was the only decent version of the audio I could find…you can’t find “everything” on the Internet as it turns out. I have the CD it’s on but nowhere to play it. 😂😂😂
Thanks for being here. I hope the holiday season finds you enjoying the days and being gentle with yourself…the struggle of the hustle and bustle is real, but remember you matter most, so take care of you….make time to do that.
Happy Friday Eve. Love you too.