So…about the vaccine…I got it last Wednesday.
Did I want to get it?
Not sure, actually.
But did I need to get it?
Yes.
And while it’s not Monday I need to drop in a “bonus” Maiku today simply because that’s how my thoughts on this matter took form:
Ode to a vaccine:
Protect ourselves, each other.
Vax up. Do your part.
So I didn’t really give a ton of thought to whether I did or didn’t want to get vaccinated, and in hindsight I think it’s because innately I didn’t see it as a choice. The only way through this is through this, and it’s a three-strand guide rope woven by Pfizer, Moderna, and J&J (Janssen) that’s ours to grab onto and pull ourselves to the other side. (Hold your comments on J&J—it’s a pause, like when Ross & Rachel were on a break.) Anyway, last Tuesday I preregistered for the state program and then got my local pharmacy accounts in order, after which I explored their signup processes to see how they worked, so I’d be ready to go when I was ready to go. In that exploration, even though I wasn’t actively trying to book anything, I saw and lost a CVS appointment (user error) followed by a Walgreens appointment which I also lost (too slow). Then my adrenaline took over and I “had” to get myself a shot. Within minutes of obsessively refreshing the Walgreens signup page while watching Jeopardy! I lost a second appointment and then mere moments (and a thousand page refreshes) later the third time was a charm as I snagged a spot for the J&J vaccine (one and done!) the next night (last W), at a site not too far from the house. I say it was a visit from Karma rewarding me for all those early mornings trying (unsuccessfully) to get the snowbird faction of my family appointments at Publix in FL. See—the universe occasionally rewards effort. I was giddy with excitement until about 5pm the next day when I started getting reeeeeeeally and inexplicably nervous. But worry is a wasted emotion, I reminded myself, and this case was no different, right? Things went without issue (although it actually hurt during and right after the vaccine was administered—nothing like a flu shot, which is what I was expecting) and my arm felt like it had been punched that night. When I walked on Thursday my 20-pound pack felt like it weighed 100 and I could barely pick up my feet. It was so bad I was annoying myself with the sound of my dragging sneakers, and I was wearing head[hones, playing music. Not bad, not worrisome, just kind of weird, kind of achy, kind of off.
On Friday my arm *really* hurt when I moved it, but the soreness improved daily. A small price to pay, and the shot did not impact my drinking arm so I was able to enjoy some (many) nice brews during a gorgeous Friday and Saturday. By Sunday I was 👍🏼👍🏼💯, in perfect condition to lounge on the couch and dread going back to work. Monday all was in the rearview, or so I thought, and on Tuesday I was in moderate-freak-out mode, waking up to the dramatic (as reported) news that the administration of J&J vaccine was paused. But by later Tuesday I was fine. I collected the info I needed to collect, and knowing the facts helped me relax. I’ve never been so happy to be (well) over 48 in my life, and I’m cool with being attuned to specific symptoms for another week. I’m not actively worried. If something goes amiss, I’ll address it, and the bottom line is I’ve traded one risk for another—and although I’m not much of a gambler, I’m good with the odds.
Anyway, over the last few weeks I’ve seen some disheartening commentary on social media on the topic of vaccination, plenty of misinformation and baseless conclusion. A faction of folks who are antivaxxers aren’t focusing on the vaccine and instead are focusing on the spike in cases, misattributing that to the people who have been vaccinated, accusing them of living as if they have some superpower. Pretty sure that the vaccinated minority are not on spring break or spitting on each other in some jam-packed baseball stadium or barroom but what do I know? Others are disparaging the vaccine itself, saying things like it’s efficacy is not proven beyond six months, we might need boosters…blah blah blah. Essentially saying: “They told us two weeks with masks now they’re telling us to wear masks and to get vaccinated and the vaccine may not last more than six months, this is ridiculous, just let us live. They have no clue.” 🙄 This J&J pause only serves to make them believe their argument is stronger. Does anyone else think that if “we” (as in everyone) had masked up for two weeks in March of 2020 we’d be in a different place right now? “We” let the virus get ahead of us, and “we” don’t have the strength or stamina to catch up. We have good options…pointing the finger isn’t one of them, and going back to business as usual isn’t either. Wear a mask. Get a shot. Be smart.
I was talking to my mom about this (and other things) the other day, after I told her I had been vaccinated…we were talking about the number of deaths being inflated because COVID was listed as the cause of death (when it may or may not have been, or may or may not have been a cause, or accelerated some other condition), and how money may or may not have played a role in that. The important thing I think, that I reminded my mom of, is that that is one piece of a very big puzzle and if you only focus on one piece (the death toll being inflated) that you miss important details that are part of the big picture (the death toll is (too) high and many deaths were preventable). The death numbers might be inflated but focusing on that and any perceived nefarious intentions in inflating them distracts focus from other important things, like lowering the infection rate and slowing the number of additional deaths. It also distracts focus from the importance of masking up and getting vaccinated. To the people saying “they told us to mask up for two weeks over a year ago and look at the mess we’re still in,” I say this: “we” didn’t mask up for two weeks and the virus ran out of control. We’re still trying to rein it in (“we’re” still not taking necessary cautions) and there’s still a lot we don’t know. But there’s a lot that we do know. And we have to roll with that. So that, I guess, is why I’m vaccinated.
Bottom line: if you don’t know what you’re talking about, STFU.
And now here’s a list of other stuff I’ve been thinking (about) these days:
Speaking of my mom, she’s coming home from FL tomorrow, and I can’t wait to see her. I am so grateful for FaceTime. When the pandemic started, I took to replacing my daily calls with it, and just kept with it. Seeing her nearly every day went a long way in making me feel connected to her during this, the longest time I’ve ever gone without seeing her (January until tomorrow). But I can’t wait to see her in person, in 3D…to go to Costco with her, to start up our weekly post-Tai Chi dinners. I love my mom so much, and not in the “my mom is my best friend” way…she’s my mom, she raised me and I love her for who she is, for the sacrifices she still makes to give me a leg up, for her strength, for her sense of humor, for her open mind. I missed all of it while she was away, all of her, and I can’t wait to see her. What can I say? She’s the best.
Masks and dog poop have something in common. If you’re gonna be bothered to wear a mask and/or bag your dog poop, why can’t you be equally bothered to properly dispose of them when you’re done? Everywhere I look, masks and bags of dog poop strewn on the ground everywhere. (And empty nips, of course.)
Speaking of masks and being bothered, it remains true that pursed lips and/or loosely covering your mouth with your hand aren’t mask equivalents…if you bother doing those things, why not “bother” with an actual mask and make an actual difference? If you are firm in your belief about not wearing a mask, own it. None of this Marcel Marceau fake mask mime sh-t.
We went from what seemed like at least one Andrew Cuomo “me too” accusation a day and screaming demands that he resign as governor to…absolute crickets…what is going on there, and why the silence? A recent Google search turned up some recent allegations of some irresponsible travel spending (to the tune of $650K), and a quick curiosity scroll turned up nothing on the reported harassment claims. Not a topic I particularly care about, though observationally I found it a bit curious, perhaps hypocritical. It picked up a bit this week, reenergized in two pieces by The NY Times (one is here and the other is here) but for the most part it seems like men and power (men in power?) are are in control of how the tale is being told, and that doesn’t feel right. When I heard yesterday that he was making a big announcement, I took that to mean he was making a big announcement. Nope. The announcement was related to the NY Islanders (NHL) new arena on Long Island, so his announcement was about big money sports, a centuries old bastion of discrimination (and other bad things). And the women who made allegations of impropriety twist in the wind with their claims.
I know social media gets a bad rap, and in the aggregate it is deservedly so. I also wonder whether we have an opportunity to take control of the narrative and right the rest of the story. I’m not sure the impact of social media is all bad, and while for sure it has revealed some horrifically ugly societal truths, I think those truths provide us with some degree of opportunity. Consider society as a big boulder that social media cracked open…now we see the individual pieces differently and for what they are…we see layers and striations. Understanding things differently and in detail provides us with critical information as we decide who we want to be, how we fit, and what will make us stronger (and more equitable and just and humane). We have a chance to rebuild. Will we take it? Or will the people holding the biggest pieces revel in the victory and stop caring about the pebbles?
I was totally pumped up by last week’s release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), which sends a very powerful message to people everywhere. Don’t like her music? That’s your prerogative (not to mention your loss), but please play attention to Taylor Swift the person, because she’s doing some great things…in this case, reclaiming her voice, her music, and in doing so making a very strong statement of resilience, of not letting the actions of others stop our growth and progress. The NY Times published an interesting piece on the matter the day the album dropped and The Atlantic also spent some time on the subject, if you’re interested.
Let’s talk turkeys. I’ve mentioned that we have at least one but more likely several gangs of turkeys that come and go at both at both regular and irregular intervals, in both regular and irregular numbers/configurations, and take both regular and irregular paths across the lawn. But nothing could have prepared me for Saturday night, out in the backyard with friends, day passing through dusk heading to dark, maybe a few too many tasters into a fun beer sharing/tasting sesh, and hold the door, what was that commotion? Four gigantic turkeys, flying into trees a good 30 to 40 feet high, apparently settling in for a good night’s sleep. I have heard weird sounds out back before but never have I ever seen anything like this.
Another thing I’ve talked about before is how the passing of time is so strange within the pandemic, and I’ve also talked about how it’s even more strange when you’re constrained within it. Now there’s another dimension of time worth noting…what seems to happen with time relative to work when one is away from it for nine weeks and then returns. That’s a whole other sense of being frozen in time despite knowing that nine weeks have passed one day at a time. It’s like nothing has changed, I return to a petrified forest. Things have moved but nothing has changed. Or have things changed but nothing has moved? Happy to impossible to sense or to feel or to process. But at the same time, it is great to be back. The days go by faster anyway!
I can’t remember if I’ve talked about watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette before. I watched it at the beginning, dropped it for a long time, and picked it back up during the pandemic, as it gave me something to talk about with my 19-year old niece. It’s mindless background TV for me, mildly entertaining…a character study, a reflection of the problems of the world. But yesterday had some big news on a former Bachelorette contestant and a headlining Bachelor (not from seasons I watched), as Colton Underwood came out as gay to Robin Roberts on GMA. The thing that struck me in this interview is that even though society has come really far, we as a society are still socialized in certain (negative and awful) ways, and the fact that Colton or anyone lives with fear and shame and pain about who they are is not ok. Good for Colton. If you’re reading this and thinking “Who cares?” Or “Big deal.” Or “This is not news” or some variant thereof, I urge you to watch this interview and open your ears and mind and heart to the sheer pain and fear and self-loathing that was driving his decisions and then ask yourself this: how you can open up your ears and mind and heart even further, to help remove some of the burden from the Coltons of the world?
Joe Biden is so mumbly. When he’s masked up he needs subtitles. Dude actually should start tweeting more so we don’t have to guess what he’s saying.
If you eat tofu and don’t have a tofu press, I highly recommend it. After many years of balancing soup cans in a cast iron skillet on top of a block of tofu wrapped in more paper towels than I can count, this gadget is a game-changer. IMO the thing the air fryer is best for is tofu, but the prep work with the soyblock often offset the benefit of the air fryer. Now that I have the press I’m able to enjoy the blissful marriage of the tofu and the air fryer on the regular. Seriously buy it for no other reason to be amazed by how much water comes out of the little f-cker!
How about some training for police officers in Minnesota? And how about we really talk about racism? I learned about a new concept this week, linked fate (thanks to Kaya Henderson of the great podcast Pod Save the People (click this link for the episode)). The pod ep explains a number of ways our society has created this thing that White people will never experience, this notion of linked fate. I understand it to mean (oversimplified): “as other Blacks succeed or fail, so too do I.” And this is part of why these incidents pile up for Black people in such a heavy and unfair and personal way, yet we White people believe we succeed on our own and the failure of others is their problem. Because of this seemingly inescapable construct (thanks, systemic racism), every Black person shoulders the weight of every other Black person. Think about that for a second, and imagine the shoe on the other foot: how can you not be enraged? The podcast touches on the roots of this in American history, how we’re built on competition and not collectivism, how we focus on individualism vs collectivism. Another concept I’ve been learning about (not covered in the pod ep) is the idea of collective trauma, which is exactly what it sounds like it is. There’s a lot more to these things than that what I have discussed it what I know but I mention them here for your consideration, and as another example of the how important it is to challenge yourself and your thinking, not to believe everything you do think, and to remember that there’s always something to learn. This sh-t is real and we need to understand and be attuned to and sensitive about it, not to mention acknowledge the fact that if we’re White, our privilege—and nothing else—protects us largely from these things. Even when we (White people) experience collective trauma, it’s not about race, it’s about something external (because today is OneBoston Day, the example I’ll use to illustrate the idea of collective trauma in this way is the Marathon Bombings); so when it is about race, we can’t pretend to “get it,” but we can act with genuine empathy. We can’t let ourselves be mislead or slough it off by concluding “it’s not me.” Think about it a different way—turn the focus away from yourself. None of this is about you, it’s about the world you live in, the society that you’re part of, the place you have influence. How can you help? Make a difference? Drive change? I’ve learned so much about race and racism over the last year, through reading, watching, listening, talking…I have barely scratched the surface but I know that what I have learned is positively influencing how I interact with the world around me. It’s given me greater understanding, tolerance, and maybe even patience…I’m only one data point, but my experience is why I’m such a vocal advocate for putting in the work needed to help us to keep growing. For me it’s enriched my life, made it more valuable (to me), and finds me much more at piece with my place in the universe.
With all the speculation that’s been done about whether Harry really is Charles’ son, after seeing so many pictures of a young Philip this last week, I see family resemblance where I had previously seen none. So maybe Harry is a full-blooded ex-royal after all.
I’ll leave you this week with this baker’s dozen, where clearly my thoughts continue to range far and wide…mainly because the world is such a f-cking spectacle, a real f-cktacle as it were, with over stimulating material everywhere.
As usual, perspective is everything, and it’s all about where you look and what you find and what you do with it. That’s where the beauty often lies—in the choice.
Plus my mom comes home tomorrow.
Thanks for being here, happy Friday Eve, and I’ll see you next week.
Enjoyed today's installment! I was so happy to get the vaccine I almost cried -- this was in January through work (I work for MGH) and the feeling in that room as clinicians vaccinated employees was close to euphoria throughout. It was weird to be in a large room with so many happy people after a year of anxiety and stress and isolation. I completely understand being nervous -- I was too. But these vaccines are AMAZING and the science behind especially the mRNA vaccines is mind-blowing. Loved your paragraph about your mom -- made me tear up a bit. Here's to reunions!
So happy to hear your Mom is coming home - enjoy!!