So Tuesday’s theme here is transformation and with the ever-changing nature of the world you might think it would be a layup of a topic for me. But you’d be wrong. You know that old expression “the more things change the more they stay the same”? Well, sometimes I sit here thinking it’s Groundhog Day all over again. And now I’m procrastinating by thinking about whether saying “Groundhog Day all over again” is redundant.
Honestly…
Note to self: get out of your own way.
You may know the passage of time is an obsession of mine and the ticking clock is always an ally when it comes to material on transformation. I started going on a(nother) “circle of life” kick, partly due to watching my nephews and nieces growing up in front of my eyes—an apartment in Cambridge for one, upcoming college graduation for another, a service trip to Costa Rica in a few weeks for yet another, a college decision yesterday by another still, and thank god for the 16 year-old “baby” of the family…even though her most recent rite of passage was getting a driver’s license…and also partly due to the news that a friend of mine whose 56-year-old husband died suddenly this past September had to bury her mom last week. The circle of life expands and contracts, opens and closes, and allegedly things break even in the end but even so it can be a whirlpool at times, spinning angrily out of control and seemingly pulling us under. I simply didn’t feel like going under water and fighting for my life with that this week, so I scrapped that angle.
I took a step back to look at things from a different angle and quickly started to focus on what I’m experiencing in general right now, what I was thinking of as “The 3 Rs of Transformation.” But then quickly also thought “there are probably more than 3.” So after almost dropping the idea all together it hit me that I can drop the “the” and talk about “Three Rs of Transformation” for this week’s theme, as they are areas of transformation that have been on my mind since we last met…and dropping the “the” leaves room for more than three. Problem solved.
Note to self: no need to cause meaningless problems for myself. 😂😂😂
Anyhoo, without further ado:
R number one, or as we say here in Boston, aah numbah one: religion. Gotta start with religion on Easter Tuesday because to those who observe, there’s no greater transformation than from dead to alive, from buried to risen, right? Lots of holy stuff going on, lots of observances. The truth is I didn’t go to church Sunday, which has me thinking about religion, and my relationship with mine. Am I religious? And does it matter? I mean, I didn’t go to church, but did I practice religion of some sort? I think I did. (???) On Sunday morning, I took a long solo walk to the water. It was calm. It was quiet. Like I almost always do in the moments of extreme peace, I was one with myself, one with the Earth, one with the Universe, and one with all things good. I spent time thinking of my place in it all, reflecting on whether I’m wasting time and space, pondering whether I’m leaving things better than I found them. Those are the questions I wrestle with—general good person-hood kinds of things. In these reflections I felt good and I felt whole. Works for me. I was raised Catholic (and very sporadically practice in the organized sense of the word), and I’d say my parents were more committed than devout. By this I mean that as an adult I can see that their devotion was a matter a faith in something higher, bigger, and better, but I certainly never felt like their faith was completely blind. I feel like their interpretation of the religion was the tenets of it with a little Yankee common sense layered on top. But I also saw my dad’s faith when he was sick and as he lay dying, how that carried him and in turn carried us. So there’s some certain faith lives with me and in me…even though I’m not frequently found in a pew. I’m definitely more spiritual that religious, and in part my faith in some higher power, though I probably can’t be more articulate about it than that, or describe to you the exact implication of these beliefs and views. But I do think self-awareness is as important here as in other places in my life, and my awareness of my spiritual journey, awareness of my relative place in this world, and awareness that this is all both within my control and outside of it, well, that awareness is the thing that keeps my mind and heart and soul in balance. And for me, that’s The Way.
And now for aah numbah two, I give you this: ritual. Much of religion is about ritual, and so too is other stuff in life that has meaning. I’m thinking about ritual as the things we do on a regular (maybe frequently, maybe not) basis, in a certain way. Like when I go to Michigan to visit we have our way of going about things that we’ve always done them and in so doing them that way we’re able to preserve the memories of past shared experiences and use them as foundational to new things. Ritual for me means commitment to patterns that add value to and enhance my life. Ritual reinforces the important things, it echoes sentiments, it strengthens bonds. So ritual is important to me, because when I am executing a ritual, I am doing so on some spiritual level.
The last aah for today, aah numbah three, is a relative of ritual: routine. Now you might argue that routine is routine and therefore is some programmatic going through of the motions. But allow me to offer an alternative take on that. In some cases, routine is a requirement of transformation. Say you want to live a healthy lifestyle. So routine—habits—are the thing that get us there. We set a schedule that allows us to go to the gym at one time, for a walk at another, and to grocery shop for only those foods that we want to eat. That routine is critical. Throw off that routine, say, with a couple of business trips, and you’re hip-checked of that transformative path. Sleep is hard to come by, for every three days you’re away you may get one hotel gym workout in, and you’re stuck eating whatever the hotel bar serves/is on the event lunch menu/is considered “banquet” food wherever you happen to be. So routine is an important component of transformation too, though that notion may seem a bit counterintuitive out of the gate. This pandemic lifestyle has taught me the difference between meaningful routine and meaningless ones, and believe me, I plan to give up as little time as possible to the latter, ever again.
Transformation is about the combination of difference and sameness that we need to drive growth, and what that exact formula is for each of us is as unique as each of us. For me, my belief system, the rituals that support it, and the routines that reinforce it are all important parts of how I orient myself to the world and guide myself through it. We’re all different, and as long as were all good people, we’ll be ok. And I don’t mean this in any sacrilegious way or to disparage anyone else’s beliefs system or practice, but this seems like a good song to capture that:
Religion is wherever you find it. Ritual is where you find meaning. Routine is where you make things stick.
I hope you all had a nice Easter/Passover/Ramadan, and by that I mean that whether you celebrated in some way or practiced formally or didn’t do either, I hope the weekend brought you some peace, some hope, some light. Thanks for being here—it means the world to me. Have a great week. Love you too.