Sometimes the silver lining is tarnished (and that's OK)
That's what polish, some elbow grease, and the occasional blind eye is for.
When I left you last week I was about to head to the airport to grab my sis and my niece for move-in day at Northeastern University, and what a day it was. Picked them up without issue, loaded up the car (and the sister I borrowed it from was right—it did make all kinds of noises, it had flashing lights on the dash to rival a Clark Griswold Christmas display, and I sure had to work hard to ignore them all), and we made our way to the dorm. The process was far more efficient than we could have imagined and before we even realized what was happening the back of the car had been opened and completely emptied, we were told where to park, and we walked back to meet all of her belongings in the room—all without having to lift a finger, save to roll the window down (and then up) to speak to the “attendant.” Fantastic location, new-ish building, 9th floor, nicely appointed, with sweeping city views, including of Fenway Park and the iconic Citgo sign. Perfect for a Michigander who has long dreamt of attending college in Boston, even if it was gray and overcast and you had to both squint and use your imagination to enjoy said views. Admittedly it was a long day but it was a very productive and happy one. And it ended with a quick detour over the river to Cambridge to grab my nephew and his GF so we could meet up with the other half of the fam (10 people in total, at which time we were punch-drunk and starving!) at our fave local pizza joint—it was so great to be together. (After waiting an hour for one of the two big tables, we wowed our server with our pizza-eating intensity and quantity!)
We were back at it the next morning (joined by another niece—bonus!) for some odds and ends and final flourishes and getting the last of the details squared away. We sat down for a very enjoyable (and delicious) lunch and then left the city feeling very good about the very happy college student in the rearview.
So that was that.
A new chapter begins.
As it so happens this morning I’m coming to you from a (nice, at least) hotel room in Brunswick, ME, a waypoint on a journey farther North for the funeral of the father of a bestie.
(Rest easy, WCB, Jr. Hope you find yourself in a real angler’s paradise now.)
Another chapter ends.
I’ve got a fave college peep with me, I scooped her up at Logan Airport late yesterday afternoon as I made my way through the city. The door-to-door drive to Bangor was long enough that to attempt it this morning would have been both aggressive and tiring (and needlessly so) so we readily agreed to avoid both by spending a night abutting our old stomping ground (Bowdoin College, Go U Bears!), cutting today’s drive by more than half. We had a great pizza and beer stop in Freeport and ample time for relaxed catching up, so other than using the in-room shower gel that has left me smelling like I soaked in a barrel of clementines for a week, it was definitely worth it.
While the circumstances of all this are gut-wrenchingly sad (spoken from experience), I’m grateful for this mini-adventure, in that it has at its core the soul and spirit of long-term friendships and the warm, abiding love that accompanies them. So that’s what I’m focusing on right now, how fortunate I am to have such deep, strong, healthy roots with some pretty amazing people (and not just the ones I’ll see today).
When we arrive at the service, all of my attention will be on my friend and her family, to give love and support and whatever else they need as they mourn their loss in celebration of a life well-lived. Mourning and celebration, in the same sentence, describing a single all-encompassing “event,” well, it feels kind of weird typing that and then reading it back but I guess such is the nature of my absolute least favorite shape, the Circle of Life. Highs and lows and contradictions and everything in between…and there is a lot in between. In any case, once we’re suitably caffeinated we’re off to both mourn and celebrate.
And so it goes…
Right now, circumstances notwithstanding, “grateful” hardly begins to describe how I feel to be snuggled up in sweet thoughts of old (30+ years) friends. The memories and the love are something I cherish, always. These friendships are one of life’s shiniest of silver linings, worth every bit of the elbow grease needed to polish away the tarnish that life frequently leaves behind, including death.
Don’t be bummed out by this. Dying is part of living. Consider this a friendly reminder to enjoy the ride!
Here are some warm love vibes for you, from me, in song:
And I urge you, as I have done before, to take a little time and go deep into the Van Morrison catalog. It’s auditory CBD, if not THC. He’s terrific and I can almost guarantee that you’ll hear (and love!) something you completely forgot about or that you’ve never heard before. (For me, this week it was Queen of the Slipstream. Hadn’t thought about that one in ages. So good.)
Thanks for being here and spending time with me. As the days and weeks and months march on, my appreciation for your company here grows.
Have a great weekend.
Love you too.
BONUS TRACK: Because it is Friday the 13th and because I feel lucky…in the sense of feeling blessed and fortunate (not like I’m gonna win the billion+ dollar MegaMillions jackpot tonight because I don’t have a ticket and you can’t win if you don’t play).
Also I am still looking for work so don’t forget about me if you hear of anyone struggling with how to talk to customers and pull everything together to create sensible and achievable strategies in support of multiple (sometimes competing) objectives—it can be done, and I can do it.
I know I already said it but love is always worth repeating: love you too!
Van Morrison is good for the soul, any day.
So sorry for your loss Nicky. I'm so glad you can be there for your friend and her family. When my mother passed away it became crystal clear what the rituals are for and why we need them -- they buoy both the grieving family and the mourners. And on the flip -- how great to have your niece attending school in Boston! XO