Hey hey hey, lots of thoughts are giving the synapses a real workout. The action consists of a wild combination of hectic sprints and stand-still traffic jams, light and heavy thinks being thunk…and topically it’s a little bit of everything. Mentally I’m all over the road of late, so it’s a stroke of good fortune that it’s all over the road day here—Thursday! Every thought is fair game and anything goes, so here goes:
I think you know by now that my two nephews and three nieces are pretty special to me and that I think they’re incredible humans. Last Saturday I took a drive down to Bridgewater State for a track meet that my younger nephew was participating in. (He’s a Senior at Babson, a javelin guy, which he gets from my grandfather who was an Olympic hopeful in the event way back when…but that’s a whole other story, the details of which have been lost to time.) Anyhow, it was his first meet back since his first year, so it was kind of a big deal. His parents are out of town, so of course I was going to go—family support and representation is so important! (Plus this kid, when he was younger, once said to me “I like knowing you’re nearby.” So it’s important for me to remind him that I’m still nearby, by showing up for him.) It was such an awesome day—a little cold, but great to see him (and kind of nice to have him all to myself). He visited with me quite a bit, threw great, and happily accepted the chocolate chip cookie bars that I baked for him. His coach came over and asked if I was his mother, which made us chuckle but also emphasized the fact that I must have been playing my substitute mom role convincingly—right down to those baked goods. (That is such a Connie move. She and my dad came to almost all of my college hoops game and always brought baked goods, much to my coach’s chagrin. Cookies might not have made me faster but they made me happier.) It was one of those days where I was so present, so happy, and so in awe of the next greatest generation. Makes my heart happy and fills me with hope. Reminder: show up!
I’ve been in a really good pattern with taking long (6-ish miles) Sunday walks and despite the chilly temps, this Sunday was no exception. It was one of those days where the road and the sun felt as endless as the possibilities of life, and when I got home I felt fully recharged—physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’m telling you—laughter is the second-best medicine. A good walk is the absolute best. And if the ocean is involved, more the better. Seriously, the best way to relax the brain is to walk it out.
I think the zoom feature in the iPhone’s photo editor is the most underutilized feature out there. What better way to make a point in a picture? Otherwise, how would I have brought this picture to life?
I’ve been avoiding this one mainly because I’m not sure what I want to say about it…but I also feel like the slappunch around the world can’t be ignored. Sunday night Kerri got home from hockey, I was watching, and she asked if there had been any surprises. I told her no (true at the time) but by the time she got out of the shower the answer had changed. The water shut off and I was all “come on, you gotta see this.” I had seen it a half dozen times at that point but still couldn’t quite get my head around it. “Did that just happen?” she asked, jaw dropped. We were both completely stunned. Of course a shitstorm immediately ensued, social media was on fire, and of course opinions are, as they say, like assholes, everyone has one…
Should Chris Rock have made the GI Jane crack? I dunno, TBH. Yeah, the joke was lazy. Yeah, it was in poor taste. But comedians use situational stuff to make people laugh all the time. Sometimes it’s inappropriate. Sometimes hurtful. Sometimes offensive. Sometimes crosses the line. Sometimes ok and sometimes not ok. Part of me worries that we as a society are getting way too sensitive. But don’t take me saying that as me thinking that Will’s response was one of oversensitivity. I’m not opining on that either. I do worry that, because every laugh comes at the expense of someone or something, someday soon we won’t have anything left to laugh at…and when we reach that point the tears will come faster and furiouser so be careful what you wish for…but anyway, I digress…so yeah, let’s just say Chris Rock said something he shouldn’t have and go from there. You may know that I’m a big fan of Stoicism thus am a big fan of focusing on response and controlling mine to avoid a needless downward or sideward spiral. And that’s my point here—forget that the slappunch seemed wildly disproportionate to the comment—an opportunity to lead a teachable moment on a very large and grand scale was flushed down the toilet…by ego? The situation was further muddled by a rambling and mark-missing acceptance speech a bit later, and let’s face it, why was he not kicked out. If a random fan had slapped Chris Rock, would that fan been hugged by Denzel Washington and shown back to their seat? And in the aftermath we’ve somehow managed to go down this road of extreme polarization, of he said-he/she/they said and we’ve completely lost the point. It’s all such a sad reflection of some larger problems—namely how we fail to acknowledge our mistakes, making it impossible to learn from them, dooming us to repeat them. In summary, it’s a f-cking mess. I realize it’s easy for me to Thursday Morning quarterback, but Jesus, are we ever off the rails. It’s this really strange intersection of too much sensitivity and too much ego, and if it doesn’t stop, we will only be able to go down, not ahead.
Speaking of the Oscars, though, how sweet was Lady Gaga’s gentle caretaking of Liza Minelli? So heartwarming. Moral of the story: remind people “I got you” every chance you get. They probably would like to hear someone has their back, and they probably need it.
I always find it so awkward when newscasters go off script. So imagine how I felt when Joe Biden did. ‘Nuff said.
The other day I heard the song Be Afraid by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit. I didn’t know it when it started playing, but I really needed the lyric “Be afraid, be very afraid. But do it anyway.” I’ve been perfectly comfortable in the new world order of the last 2+ years, but lately I’m feeling the outlines of my comfort zones have changed, and I’m less comfortable a lot more frequently. I’m feeling an odd mix of unsettled, claustrophobic, antsy, and paralyzed. I do have a vague sense of why and I’m guessing it’s exacerbated by the fact that I have some work travel coming up the next few weeks after a very long break from it, with the added extreme stress of one of the trips involving a formal dinner. Sigh. Anyway hearing this song was a good reminder to focus on pushing those comfort zone boundaries and that it’s ok if the boundaries change…but not if they shrink! Note to self: in all things be comfortable not complacent.
Speaking of music, I went into the office yesterday and heard an interesting new (at least to me) song called Memory (by Windser) and while I sat in traffic and listened I was all caught up in the notion of the passage of time (one of my “favorite” obsessions), and for whatever reason thought of how we’ve gone from still pictures to filmstrips to movies to life in hi def. There’s something to be said for the irregular pace of the old days, and the irregular ways we memorialized them. The breakneck pace of life under a microscope is something else. We can’t keep up. Reminder: slowing down doesn’t mean we’re lazy.
Speaking of stillness, I keep thinking how annoying it is when people confuse motion with action, with progress. The whole “hurry up and wait” approach, when people have no clear sense of why they are hurrying and/or what they are waiting for, gets me all spun up. Try though I may to control my response, my annoyance runs wild. You know, clarity of objective matters. Setting and managing your own expectations and those of others matters. And if you can’t answer the question “Why?” maybe you should question why.
I was reminded of the circle of life this week when a family I know suffered a death and a birth in the same day. As much as said circle is my least favorite shape, when it works like this, I’m reminded of the necessary evilness of it.
Tom Brady’s dramatic and soapy reaction on “learning” Bruce Arians retired was the most sugar-coated “don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good lord split ya” I’ve ever read. Clearly this situation is a total “either he goes or I go (to Miami by way of a faketirement) situation, don’t you think? Two things we’ve learned since the Super Bowl ended: how much power TB12 has and how big his ego is. He’s a great player…so just play.
I’m seeing two of my favorite people later today for beers, and I can’t wait. Friendly reminder—make plans. Talking about making plans is motion, making plans is action. Carrying them out is living. Go. Live.
I really want one of these meatball sub donuts. I know I shouldn’t. I know. But I do. It’s so cute.
In honor of the donut, let’s call it at a Baker’s Dozen. Plus I could really use a coffee. Thanks so much for being here—it means the world to me. See you next week. Happy Friday Eve.
I got you.
Love you too.
Bonus cover track, just because. (Seriously wait until the dance beat kicks in.)
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Great post Nicky! Btw - great to see you too. 🍺