I’m coming in figuratively lukewarm (at best) (but literally am so cold) this morning from Logan Airport. Up early, underslept (fitfully so), and have heavier bags under my eyes than the one I dropped off at baggage check…as I make my way to Kansas City for a week (work not vaca 😂). I didn’t want to fly yesterday and Delta’s first flight of the day today at the much more civilized hour of 9 AM cost enough money more than this one that even though in the end I’m not paying I still couldn’t justify it.
The weekend went by in a blink but I had a lot of fun…and as “they” say, gotta pay to play so here I am.
Lyft guy showed up early, which turned out to be a good thing since he was a real Sunday driver. There was no traffic at all but he couldn’t be bothered to hit the gas pedal. And, no great surprise, it felt like yet another “National Fly for the First Time Day” here at Logan, right down to the lady insisting that her laptop needed to be out of her bag “even at precheck.”
Anyway, I am sitting here in the midst of an over-two-hour-and-keeps-growing-delay and I am thinking about the days ahead (but not too far ahead) and reflecting on some of the days in the past, notably the past decade. Because milestones are like that…they serve as reminders of not just where we’ve come from but how far we’ve come…they remind us to stop and take it all in. So here I am, standing by such a mile marker in my life, taking it all in.
Minutes. Years. Decades. The best last ten years, these ten. Tick. Tock. Time. Tick. Tock.
If you had asked me 10 years ago this very morning what I thought my life would look like in 2023, I’m sure my brow would have furrowed, my eyes would have narrowed, my lips would have twisted, and my shoulders would have shrugged.
If I used my words, it might have gone something like this: “I dunno.”
But now, even overtired and angsty and leaving for a week, even after having to engage in some very (very) (VERY!) awkward chitchat with a former colleague in the gate area for much (much) (MUCH!) longer than I’d have liked, when I look back on the last 10 years, you’ll find me with a big smile, eyes twinkling, and shoulders shrugging…because, well, you never do know.
Life’s funny like that, I guess.
When you consider the last 10 years, and the facts that my (most awesome and beloved) dad died during that time and I changed jobs twice (not quite by choice; see “awkward chitchat” above), you might wonder how I can still somehow manage to characterize them as my best. But I can. Simply because they have been.
Love’s funny like that, I guess.
When it comes to my dad, I played a very active role in his life and his treatment. We all did. And even though we were rallying around only the tiniest glimmer of hope as we dug our heels in against that dread disease (f-ck cancer), we were rallying with pure and profound love. There’s something that’s comforting about that, a comfort that I can feel still, almost 9 years after he died.
10 years ago this morning found me doing soul-sucking corporate work, and I thought that was how it always was going to be. Fast forward to now and I’m with my second nonprofit since then, doing challenging, gratifying work; using my brain, heart, and soul in turns, in service to the common good. I wouldn’t have predicted this path for myself, but I sure am enjoying being on it. Even though it’s early right now, even though I’m delayed and freezing, I’m looking forward to being at our annual conference, working hard, doing good work.
10 years ago this morning found me deep in my “say yes even if you don’t want to” phase because, well, you never know. And if you say “no,” well, you’ll definitely never know. In general, though, despite how sick my dad was and how shitty my job was, for whatever reason, 10 years ago I had made some sort of long overdue peace with myself. With all the pain and uncertainty life was chucking at me, somehow I knew it all was going to be ok. I also knew that I had an active role to play in my own peace and happiness, and that’s where saying “yes” played a part.
10 years ago this morning also found me looking forward to golfing in a member-guest tournament in the afternoon, not so much because I was looking forward to golfing…and while I was looking forward to seeing old friends, my excitement came mainly from being able to end the aforementioned soul-sucking work day a little early.
That all said, sometimes the Universe has bigger or different plans for us than we have for ourselves. All it needs is a “yes” (and a beautiful day, an open mind, an open heart, and 9 holes in a scramble format) to work its magic, to trigger life change, inexplicably and irrevocably, for the better, forever. So here I am, 10 years later…and everything is ok.
Actually, it’s way better than ok.
There are dark days and storms, sunny days and smiles…plenty of highs, plenty of lows, and plenty of in between, middling moments. But when all those things take place in a home where you know in no uncertain terms how much and how unconditionally you are loved, well, anything and everything is possible. Even if I don’t know what.
So, yeah, the last ten years have been my best ten years.
And yes…we still golf in that member-guest, same foursome. This year the tournament is next week, and I can’t wait, for all good reasons. 🥰
Here we are in the 2017 event (obviously a Bruins theme) at our favorite hole, the one with the Woo-woo shots:
Thanks for being here with me. I appreciate it so much and I love spending this time with you. Hope you have a great week. Me, well, I’ll be checking “Missouri” off my “States I’ve Visited” list and hopefully washing some tasty BBQ down with some cold suds. Catch you next week.
Love you too.
Thank you for a wonderful start to my Monday! Here’s to love!
Have a great week! You will kick ass as always. They are lucky to have you there!