Turn it upside down or sideways
Walk around it, look at it from a new height. Stand on your head. Whatever it takes.
It’s not breaking news that I’ve been in a bit of a rut of late.
I’d be fine with not working if I had decided myself to stop working, if I just so happened to have a thriving money tree blooming in the backyard. Neither’ s the case, and in the months (5+) since my (very) unceremonious layoff, I’ve been dragging my feet (in a dejected and downtrodden way, not a procrastinating and dilly-dallying one), feeling like I am walking in circles, leaving a deepening and widening trough in my wake…
The nice thing is that I’m aware of it and I have no intention of driving myself into the ground, of falling into a stupid gully of my own stupid making.
I know I’m not alone here. Many of us fall into the trap of routine, following the same schedule day in and day out without considering why, or assessing how it may be affecting our mental health and overall happiness. But the mind, body, and soul crave novelty and change, so incorporating different routines and perspectives into our lives can lead to significant improvements in our mental and emotional well-being. How often are we going through the motions, sometimes so much so that we can’t even remember any details of whatever? I’m sure all of you have driven home from somewhere with absolutely no conscious awareness of a large percentage of the ride. I know I have and when it does happen I have absolutely no idea where my head was at. “Whoa…I don’t even remember driving by Shaw’s.”
I recently realized that I needed to shake things up. So I immediately set out and walked my standard one-hour loop…in the opposite direction. It was jarring and disorienting but it did exactly what I hoped it would—despite how it felt when I started down Academy Avenue and not up Broad Street, it threw me off kilter just enough to see life from a fresh angle, seeing things differently, noticing things I hadn’t seen before…and even though I had a bit of mental discomfort from the unfamiliar view, when I got home I was no worse for the wear. It was the painless but important reminder that I need a little discomfort every now and then and that it is a good thing—opening my eyes, ears, minds, hearts, and souls to new things, maybe even better things.
I also had been feeling generally angsty about not having a ticket to Florida. That’s an annual opportunity to break up the grind of my day-to-day routine. I was craving a familiar tradition, almost desperately. I think I was feeling conflicted, a conflict that was about me associating vacation with work, as if somehow because I wasn’t working, not getting a vacation was a price I had to pay for my professional failure. When I realized how ridiculous that was, I finally booked a flight, flew down here the following (this past) Tuesday…and here I am in Marco Island. I have had a great week with my mom, my sis and one of my nieces, one of my nephews, my aunt and uncle, and some assorted other familiar faces.
As I look at everything from down here, under blue skies and a warm (hot) sun as I listen to the sound of the waves (or as I sit by the pool on what looks like the set of Cocoon and listen to all the condo gossip), I realize that what I was feeling was less about routine and more about perspective. I’m feeling things differently now. I’ve got those salty sandy beach vibes reminding me to hang loose. I’m in a vacation destination and even though I don’t have a paying job it’s giving me a break from the pressure I’ve been putting on myself in the form of an unpaid full-time job of trying to find a job. I’ve even had some good networking calls down here. Granted they didn’t go anywhere…but at the same time they didn’t go nowhere. They remind me that something good professionally is going to come eventually and regardless of when they do that I can be (and am!) happy in the right now, and I can stay that way. I don’t *have* to be forlorn because of a single marginally suboptimal condition. It’s ok not to be in a certain professional place or moving in a certain direction…even one that I think I *should* be in. There’s no need for me to stand under the weight of needless expectations…ever.
Being here is, as they say, just what the doctor ordered. Reminder: your job does not define who you are, and having or not having one makes you no more or less of a person.
Changing up your routine can be as simple as walking your standard loop in the opposite (not wrong!) direction, taking a different route to a regular destination, trying a new workout class…or traveling to a familiar place for some different scenery and a different daily schedule. For me the awareness that I was in a rut and my interest in getting out of it spurred me to change things —generating positive momentum, momentum that translates to improvement in emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. It may take a more drastic change if you need more drastic results, and that’s ok too. In my case, I needed a minor attitude adjustment and a view from a different perch to see that my current situation is perfectly fine and that overall, I am pretty goddamn fortunate. It never fails for me—taking time to reflect on the good things in my life leaves me feeling more content and grateful for the life I have, ruts and all.
Why not shake it up and try something new today? See how it can open your mind and bring more joy into your life. And who doesn’t want more joy?
Heartfelt appreciation to you for being here with me…know that if you were actually here with me I’d find us a Happy Hour and buy you a drink. Me, I gotta go—I’m coming home tomorrow and need to catch as many rays as I can before then. Just don’t tell my dermatologist.
Love you too.
Well said. Those sunsets can certainly reset anyone. Enjoy. Xoxo