Two. Oh. Two. Four.

Happy New Year: maiku for you.

Had to take a pic of the TV as the ball dropped to prove that I was awake, if not up.

Good morning. Our eyes opened on a new year today, and while that’s a gift unto itself we know how it goes…hope, opportunity, possibility…

…and pressure.

Maybe you partied hard last night. Maybe you had a quiet night in. Maybe you moderated in the middle somewhere.

Whatever you did, I hope you enjoyed it.

It was a chill one here. We’re at the age where our NYE friends are testing the (early) retirement waters in FL, so our standing plans came tumbling down. Which was fine with me as it turned out. I am pretty worn down, fighting off a cold (nose a little stuffy, throat a little scratchy), overtired, and a bit on the cranky side.

In any case and in other words, if a picture is worth 1000 of them, I’m kind of like this snowperson right now.

Decidedly over joy.

Decidedly not overjoyed.

Anyhow, I observe New Year’s Day as Gap Day and have for several years now. It’s a day off for most giving us a free 24 hours between the old year and the new one, providing a cushion between what was and whatever will be…so I enjoy it doing whatever it is that I want to do and suggest you spend it doing the same.

Nothing needs resolving today—especially resolutions. So take the day and make one big anti-resolution of it. Contrary to what they tell you when you’re riding the Tube in London, do not mind the gap. Rather take the Nestea plunge into it.

Turning a calendar page from December to January is no different than turning it from January to February or June to July.  No magic happens. The end of the year imposes an artificial deadline and the new one introduces an artificial starting line, both of which put very real pressure—extra pressure that I’m guessing you do not need—on you.  Why put screws to yourself to start a new year? Enjoy it for the fresh start it offers, whether you plan to avail yourself of the clean slate or not. And remember that not only is every year a new beginning…every month, every week, every day, every hour, every second is. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to reinvent yourself without publicity, pressure, or expectation. Why insisr on putting yourself under a microscope today? Why look in the rearview when you know that it’ll give you a bitch of a stiff neck?

Make space between the rearview and the horizon to do and be whatever you want for one day. No ruminating, no regrets, no making big bold moves, no promises that you’re unlikely to keep. For this one day, just be.

Make it Gap Day and give yourself a little grace until tomorrow.

Gap Day. Rest. Relax.
Without resolve or pressure.
Twenty twenty four.

Honestly, if U2 sings so, it must be true. All *is* quiet on New Year’s Day.

Also, as the new year begins, I need to talk about an elephant in the room, an elephant that is easy to ignore because the room is virtual. In fact, you probably don’t even know the wild beast is there, a fact that illuminates a major problem that I have with the virtual and remote. There are pros and cons to everything and this virtual and remote environment is no exception. On the plus side: no commute to work, almost total schedule flexibility, no annoying office chit chat, athleisurewear, etc., etc. On the minus side, well, the old expression “out of sight, out of mind” seems new again. When things are fully remote/virtual, well, any organization of people loses connective tissue, and that loss can be catastrophic. Many key traits of good leaders and good people and many key contributors to productivity and well being simply aren’t meant to be used let alone thrive in 2D. So because of this disconnect that we tend to deny (to protect the pros, the things we value) there is, like it or not, a growing divide between words and actions, between what we practice and what we preach, between talking the talk and walking the walk. My prediction is that this will eventually box authenticity (the #1 thing I value in my interpersonal dealings) out of professional lives and drive isolation into personal ones—unless people commit to reversing the tide now. Professionally, maybe pick three consecutive days or a week a month that everyone needs to be onsite (if you have an office). The typical employment agreement favors the employer but the pandemic swung the power to the employees…and what we know now is that neither extreme is sustainable or desirable for the masses. Like many things, we let the extremists on the fringes tip the balance for the masses in middle. Personally, make plans. Get outside. Go out of town. Engage face to face. There’s got to be a balance between the pros and cons of this new-ish remote world order noted above.

Anyway…back to that elephant…now that I am (as previously noted)(and many of you presumably are too) worn down, fighting off a cold, overtired, and maybe a touch cranky, well, why not pile it on?

I debated whether to talk about this here a) because I’m not required to and b) I’m feeling inadequate if not outright embarrassed by it.

There’s no contract between us beyond my commitment to delivering something on a weekly rotating-day-with-a-bit-of-structure schedule. Be that as it may, what I write here is informed by what’s going on, and stuff is going on. Stuff that’s kind of got me a bit blue, even though it’s for the better. (Though TBH part of me thinks because this is both a Monday post right after a Friday post and a holiday, well, maybe many of you won’t even be paying attention today. So I can slide it in and say it without people hearing it but still own my truth. 😂😂😂🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m like a tree falling in the woods. Whether anyone is around to hear it is the million-dollar question.)

Long story short: different page of the calendar, same story. Put another way, I’m in the same different spot as I was at this time last year—no job, no direction, constantly chasing some unknown that I know is just out of reach but I can’t seem to orient myself to.

To be clear, this post is not me hosting a pity party. No job beats the wrong job. I’m “just” dealing with the strong negative feelings that come when one isn’t where one expected to be, or where others expected me to be. (Expectations are the worst.)

I know, I know, I know...when one door closes a window opens somewhere else…forgive me if I’m not spontaneously and enthusiastically up to the hunt for an opening to crawl through. I’m too busy processing, assessing, figuring...

Even though it’s good in the overall scheme of things (and if you know me you know how true this is, that is many ways it’s better than good), having *just* been out of work and now being out of work again is a special kind of very personal bodyblow no matter what circumstances surround it. While I stand firm that no job is better than the wrong job, my seeming inability to find the right job is leading to a lot of soul-searching, self-doubt, and an erosion of already eroded professional self-confidence.

And there you have it—my elephant, in the spotlight. (Sigh.)

Needless to say, I need today’s Gap Day more than ever. I want to bury my congested head in the sand without guilt or repercussion.

But before I do my best imitation of an ostrich, I want to make a few points:

1. Ignore red flags at your own peril.

2. In a fully remote (and detached) environment, advocating for what you need is next-to-impossible. That was harder for me than I might have thought.

3. When your work is entirely virtual, it is possible others see you only as an avatar in the world’s most boring video game. Or they don’t see you at all. That also was harder for me than I might have thought.

4. If you manage remote employees, you have to force yourself on them. This is the one circumstance where no does not mean no and you don’t need consent. You need to find ways to connect…you need to make sure enough oxygen is getting to your collective business brain.

5. I read through job descriptions and feel like I have a case of sudden-onset narcolepsy. When I do manage to stay awake and semi-engaged, I find myself reaching for Pepto Bismol. I’m not being dramatic here…I’m directionless and passionless. Not a combination that screams “Hire me—you can’t go wrong.”

6. I’m still a strong supporter of the liberal arts and I believe that there’s such a thing as “generalist expertise.” I also think the value of both of those things is overlooked and misunderstood. Bottom line—having employees who look at every situation in a broad and comprehensive way will help you anticipate challenges. Employers need to be willing to entertain these issues and invest in their solutions. These are the people you want in your challenge network and they are the people you need to optimize your success. That said, people don’t like to be asked questions they can’t answer, they tend to appreciate people who blindly and mindlessly agree with them. They like it when people stay in their lanes, when they don’t muddy the waters, etc. etc. etc. Me, well, I’d like to be warned of undertows, rip currents, and/or tsunamis so I’d have ample opportunity to save myself but what do I know? When you approach hiring with tunnel vision, don’t act surprised when you end up dealing with functional silos and a lack of coordination and collaboration. And sh-tty results. When that happens (and it will) I won’t say “I told you so” but I can help you fix it.

7. It’s kind of reflective of society that this expression is often (almost always) truncated, completely changing its meaning, and that very few people even know that’s what they are doing/is being done. We hears “jack of all trades” used dismissively and derisively, when the actual expression is “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” We gravitate toward the convenient, without regard to comprehensiveness. All that said, me not having experience/a career as a ___________________ (insert any neat occupational title here, accountant, engineer, Walmart greeter, etc.) is biting me in the ass. Hard.

8. Reinvention and rebuilding at 56.75 years old is f-cking tiring. But I know it will be worth it…I gotta believe! Right?

9. In the Year of She-conomy when girls run the world I feel kind of underachieving if not incompetent. But I did see TSwizzle in concert so I do have that going for me.

10. The Red Sox finally trading Chris Sale is a good reminder of what Rizzo taught us in Grease: “better late than pregnant.” Better to be chasing professional happiness now vs never.

11. In 2022, I had two friends who suffered the death of a parent right around the holidays, and this year it was three. I like to think that Toni, Steve, and Bern found their way to each other in the great beyond and are raising a glass to friends old and new as I type. There’s no pain like that of losing a parent, and my heart goes out to you, friends.

12. Despite ending 2023 in the same place as I started it, kind of, in general I feel like I accomplished a lot—I learned a lot, I laughed a lot, I enjoyed time with friends and family, and I celebrated the success of people I love. (Just not a celebration of myself. Thank God I do know that life is not a zero-sum game, and I still believe I’ll get mine, whatever that is.) (I have a few ideas up my sleeve, but need to figure out income and health care too. I’m not one to overpromise, though still I’ll quote David Bowie: “I don’t know where I’m going from here. But I promise it won’t be boring.”)

Phew. Apparently I needed to make more than a few points. You see? With this sh-tstorm swirling about, I need a day of nothing. I need a day in a black hole. Under these circumstances, I call that self-care!

I know…this is a lot to unload today…it’s like I’m puking all over the proverbial blank sheet of paper that is a new year. Even so what it reinforces for me is that the sheet of paper is either always clean or it’s never clean—either way every day is ours to own. We can erase, crumple, rip…glue or tape or toss it into the bin. We can use pen, pencil, crayon, or permanent marker. The medium will change, the finished products will evolve. That’s life, right?

Oh, who am I kidding? I have no f-cking idea. But I’ll figure it out.

One thing I’m sure of is that I love my weekly time with you. And I love it whether you’re coloring inside the lines, doing your best Jackson Pollock, or dealing with a giant box of dried-out markers. You’ll end up with a masterpiece…because you are a masterpiece.

May 2024 be the kind of year you deserve. (IYKYK.)

Love you too.