Wednesday. What’s up?
Lots going on this month. Here’s a recap.
Let’s start with what we all probably should be doing:
Right? (And how adorbs are those animals???)
Think about it.
How much better would coffee taste if we danced from the bedroom down to the kitchen? How much better would our workday attitude be if we danced from the kitchen to our home offices or out to the car? Put some pep in our step, add a shimmy and a shake to our movements, loosely choreograph daily activities to a favorite song, and let’s see what we get out of that.
There’s no way that dancing to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go while making the bed (and singing it “make me up before you go go” 🤣🤣🤣) isn’t gonna put a smile on your face and lighten your heart a little. No way.
Hard to believe that five weeks have gone by since we last spent a Wednesday morning together, but here we are on May 12th… a full five weeks later…yikes. Time continues to fly by, and I continue to try to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of every second for the short time it’s in my grasp/control. Anyway, let’s take a look at what I’m ___________________________ this fine Wednesday.
What I’m Doing With Every Free Second
Skimming the pool. Gotta get it clean and up and running! Summer! And skimming is so soothing.
What I’m Cooking
Mother’s Day was Sunday, and we were happily hosting breakfast to honor Kerri’s mom and my mom. Not quite brunch, I didn’t think, because of the early (10am) start…maybe, I thought, it was time to shake up our tried-and-true, old reliable, fail-safe, foolproof brunch menu. Maybe we were becoming a bit of a one-trick brunch pony.
Sue said she’d bring a quiche (cross that off our list!) and a raspberry coffee cake (thus we also crossed off the French toast bake, no need for two things topped with streusel), so the time seemed right to explore some new options. We ended up going with the two dishes below, a tater tot sausage gravy bake and a big baked chocolate chip pancake…and both were delicious!
A key to a good brunch (IMO) is to optimize the oven and minimize “what goes in when and what temp” stress by cooking things that are meant to be baked (or roasted as the case may be) at the same temperature. As luck would have it, both of these recipes were to be cooked at 450°and the only thing we had to cook separately was the bacon, but that’s always the case—it takes up the whole oven. Another key to a good brunch in our house is prepping as much as you can the night before, and our standard brunch menu capitalizes on that. While these recipes did not accommodate advance prep, they also were not a lot of work the day of. Our company was coming at 10 and we got up at 7, relaxed with coffee, got everything ready, and were both showered when the first guests arrived. I would definitely make both of these dishes again, and Sue’s coffee cake was the best I’ve ever eaten. And then as a special treat for our cheesecake-loving moms, baker Kerri pulled out all the stops with her first-class restaurant-quality pistachio cheesecake.
And maybe because it was Mother’s Day, Mother Nature was in a very good humor and that’s why she gave us a perfectly wonderfully warm and sunny day, allowing us to entertain and eat out back. Heaven!
On a related-to-food note, I’m hoping to keep my cocktail game elevated this summer. Making a good drink is a bit of work and it’s worth it…a relaxing process with an enjoyable reward. This spicy chocolate margarita is my latest obsession.
What I’m Reading
Bear with me here because this first bit might be a bit of a stretch for “reading”, as it involves snippets of content posted to several random social media accounts, content that some might argue that I’m drawn to only because of confirmation bias—the information contained in the snippets reinforces what I (want to) believe. But the reason I’m reporting on them now is because in reading them I’m learning some new labels for things that I think and feel, things that I’ve had trouble being explicit or convincing about, things I’ve had trouble articulating…and now in being able to label them I feel so validated. So liberated. So empowered.
Here’s the big breakthrough phrase:
TOXIC POSITIVITY (link to IG Post here)
Just sit with the expressions for a minute or two, please, before you read on.
Yes! Toxic positivity. That “it could be worse-ism” that sucks the very life out of me with its misplaced and misguided cheer and completely irrelevant comparisons.
It’s a thing. With a name. And it’s not a good thing.
Knowing this makes me feel so much better.
So. Much. Better.
About so many things, but mainly it helps me understand my feelings so much more clearly.
Not long (within minutes if not hours, but relatively immediately) afterwards, I learned my next new breakthrough label:
ACCURATE THINKING
I’ve often said that I’ll take an ugly truth over a pretty delusion, and I guess that is the essence of accurate thinking.
Knowing these labels gives me new and meaningful vocabulary that I can use when I’m tying to make a point, or express the negative impacts of these strategic and interpersonal blindspots…I suspect they’ll be quite useful in an abundance of annoying situations and they will make the situations much less annoying.
As someone who repeatedly finds herself trying to outrun a long dark shadow that others (mis)label as cynicism, now that I know what it really is (accurate thinking!) I’m no longer running from the shadow, and instead I’m hugging it. Maybe my heightened awareness is why I was paying attention, but I saw several other things since that have reinforced these ideas, confirming that “be positive” isn’t always the best advice to someone who is down, nor is telling them it will get better. I tend to see the glass as half full…but if there are only a few drops of water in it, I won’t spend one second trying to convince myself or anyone that those few drops will save anyone from dehydration.
There’s a very important place in life for accurate thinking, for realism. And one can still have a place for these notions and still be generally positive.
Positive realism is where it’s at.
I’ve also been reading some “real” books, both traditionally and via audiobook.
I finished Atomic Habits, and really enjoyed it…all the habit stuff was great, but I picked up some other important pieces that I’ll be able to use in some unexpected places too. Total bonus. The very important concept that motion doesn’t equal action and is often a bad substitute for it is one I see applying frequently at work, where I deal with this motion myth more often than I’d like. How about trying something—you might fail but you also might get results.
I started Extreme Ownership as my next professional development read…anything that gives me an opportunity to think about things differently, to give me another weapon in the lifelong battle against quantum insanity. Too soon to render a verdict on this one but I’m hopeful. If it gives me one line to use in one meeting to get one mind to start thinking differently, it’s worth it.
I recently got a great care package with two books in it, and am enjoying the one I was advised to read first, Life After Life. It’s written in a very unique way which presents an important “pay attention” challenge. No distracted reading allowed.
I’m listening to This is How it Always Is by Laurie Frankel, and while it’s a good walking companion, the pressure to finish it before the loan expires is unpleasant. The due date shouldn’t be trumping the plot line in my brain, yet it is. I’m probably not going to finish it tonight before it turns back into a pumpkin…and then I’m going to have to put another hold on it…and will Libby remember where I am in the book when I get it again and will I remember enough of the relevant details? See? It’s so unpleasant. Me and my goddamn worry about logistics, even the logistics of borrowed library materials. I’m still conflicted in terms of reading with my ears versus reading with my eyes but I guess in time I’ll come to understand which titles fit which approach, optimizing both my experience and enjoyment. I also forget where this recommendation came from (I think I read about it somewhere) and—note to self—I’ll try to do a better job tracking what triggered my reading/listening choices, because if you don’t remember where recommendations come from, how do you remember which sources should be trusted and which should be avoided? This is a complex family tale, focus is on a transgendered child, but it’s also about so much more. I’m not raving about it, but I’m not torturing myself with it (other than book loan deadline pressure). Worth a listen, worth a read.
What I’m Watching
Well, the crazy housewives from NY are back for another season. I’ve watched only one episode, but the season is off to a good start. It will be interesting to see how it unfolds…none of the housewives are actually wives, so…but then again that’s not the point. Real? Eh. Housewives? Eh. New York? One out of three is good enough. That’s how “reality” TV works these days. And I’m all worried that audiobooks aren’t real books. 🤦🏼♀️
Fleabag on Prime Video. Very fun, quirky show. Short episodes, only two seasons. And a brilliant performance from Olivia Colman. Although, when I looked online to confirm the spelling of Colman (no e, not Coleman) I learned that she’s younger than me, by a lot…which made me like her a little bit less.
Jeopardy! New guest host rankings. Aaron really jumped this week. The more guest hosts, the more I’m able to process and (re-)consider things in the aggregate. Current ranking: 1) Mike, 2) Aaron, 3) Katie, 4) Ken, 5) Bill, 6) Anderson, 7) Oz. For me it’s not “real” Jeopardy! without a “real” host; while my loyalty remains rabid, my commitment to daily watching has waned.
Spring Baking Championship. I was commenting about the increasing number of reruns on HGTV (a frequent choice for “background TV”) and my sister suggested we try this, on demand. We watched one season, and it quickly became foreground tv, not background. A fun watch for sure.
I’ve also picked up Station 19 as a companion to Grey’s Anatomy (never quit it). Ever since the days of The Rookies and Emergency I’ve needed a good police or fire drama, so this fits the bill and has just enough crossover with Grey’s to broaden the stories and add to my general interest. I know there’s a school of thought that Grey’s has gone on too long, that the whole “Meredith’s Beach” thing was drawn out, but I loved it. I love how they delineated between life and death. I love the notion that those who go before us never leave us. I guess their idea of angels among us is how I like to think of angels among us…and nothing more needs to be said.
What are you up to? Let me know…I’m always looking for recommendations.
Thanks for being here. Hope you enjoy this fun song I’ve been cranking up lately:
Yes yes yes! Nicky -- I always find your insights spot on!
Books -- LOVED Life after Life -- Kate Atkinson is a solid writer. I even read a "mystery" by her that I liked and I do not care much for mysteries - it was called Case Histories and is the first in the Jackson Brodie series so if you like mysteries or even if you don't I highly recommend it. I may even read book 2 at some point. I have also been getting into audio books when I'm not listening to two of my favorite podcasts -- The Daily and What Should I Read Next. Two audio books that I will recommend without reservation are: Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders and This is Happiness by Niall Williams. The former is read by many people playing characters so it's almost a performance -- with Nick Offerman and David Sedaris in the leading roles. Lincoln in the Bardo is not for everyone -- but I think it definitely lends itself to the audio format. This is Happiness is a book I probably heard about on the aforementioned podcast -- set in Ireland in the little town of Faha that "got the electricity" about 50 years after the rest of the world -- it's a coming of age story told by a narrator with the most gentle and lilting Irish brogue. I know I would have loved this book had a I read it instead of listened to it BUT listening was such a treat. And one more book recommendation -- The Overstory by Richard Powers -- "The Overstory is a sweeping, impassioned work of activism and resistance that is also a stunning evocation - and paean to - the natural world." (book description on Goodreads).
As far as TV recommendations go -- you must watch TED LASSO! It has it all. Once you do we must discuss.