Wherever you go, there you are

Feel-good Friday: There’s no place like home

Morning moon, the last vacation morning…

So I last wrote you from North of the border and today I’m on my living room couch, but before I talk about being home I want to make a few closing remarks about the week away. I often talk about how important it is to be present and to go deep in the moments, and how as I get older that’s the only way I’ve been able to trick myself into thinking I am actually slowing down time. What I remembered on vacation is that it’s also important to occasionally take a step back, to take in the sweeping views, and to take stock of the threads that are working, working in every passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year…to breathe deeply and to actually feel the moments, to understand them in a greater context. If you don’t take the step back you see some of the intricate stitch work, but you miss seeing how the threads are being woven together, you don’t see the tapestry in all its splendor—and these are the pieces of fabric that will ultimately be pieced together and become the garment that is your life. (Do you want a burlap sack of a life or a ball gown of a life? You gotta pay attention! You want your life to be a gorgeous, perfect fit.) (Another reason you have to zoom out occasionally is to identify and repair (or commit to ignoring, despite the consequences) any dropped stitches.) (And no I have no idea why I’m choosing all these analogies that make it sound like I’m familiar with all these old-school crafty kinds of things like weaving and sewing and quilting and crochet and knitting or whatever, and I’m not 100% sure they even go together. Dunno. Maybe I was a pilgrim or a pioneer in a past life.) So yeah, anyway, I was both feeling the tiny moments and seeing them as part of the vast expanse of my life, and a piece of my soul that I didn’t even know had a voice started singing songs from Hamilton the Musical, encouraging me to look around, look around at how lucky I am to be alive right now. So here I sit several days removed from my trip, looking around at how lucky I am, and my soul and spirit are reset, rejuvenated, and replenished…the light within burns bright. That, friends, is the essence of my time away, and that is the headspace I am in as I type this morning.

The last time I came back from vacation (late February, two weeks in FL) I wrote about it, and it’s here if you want a refresher.

In general my return home from last week’s vacation is similar…I’m so happy to be home, intensely and intently aware of that fact, and am completely comfortable with my space, my place….wherever it is, home or away. There’s a lot of overlap in these post-vaca thoughts and feelings…I’m nothing if not predictable, and I’m ok with that. I think there’s something to be said for consistency. There’s also something not-quite-as-nice to be said about it’s not-so-distant relative rigidity so I’ll take that as a reminder to be consistent yet flexible. In general, though, I like the notion of consistency and its associated (implied?) reliability—though I suppose some people are consistently unreliable…but that’s a whole other story. That said, as a self-proclaimed optimistic realist prone to raging against all things toxically positive, I tend to skew to the favorable (until proven otherwise) and thus choose to think about consistency as a good thing. Anyway, I suspect my fondness for consistency and reliability most probably has to do with the hardworking, tough, Yankee values that I was raised with. And I’m also ok with that, ok with kind of grinding through life…working hard to play hard, and trying to enjoy it all. You need to let go of the day-to-day “stuff” when you take a vacation and when you get home you need to re-embrace it, all of it, which I am doing this week. My mom came for dinner last night and when I talked about the trip she said it sounded like I had been on a retreat. Pretty damn close, only we didn’t have to pray or fast or exercise or be quiet…and we could drink alcohol. But spiritually, I think my mom’s conclusion was right on the money. (Whatever you do, please don’t say her observation was spot on. 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Emotionally, right now I am feeling quite full, quite content…grateful…all kinds of good stuff. Still riding the high of an amazing week, also settling happily back into my at-home routine…work (well, not that happy with that because…work), my noon class at the gym, Thursday dinner with Mom after her tai chi class…and since I was craving pizza like a pregnant chick craves pickles, I got out for pizza twice this week. All I gotta say about that is the pizza at Red Rose Cafe was a pleasant surprise, and it’s right up the street so bonus points for convenience…but the Lynwood Cafe, well, Lynwood pizza > Red Rose pizza. Lynnie pizza is the best. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

I got back home on Saturday night at 9, a full 13 hours after we stepped into the boat and said goodbye for now to Poplar Island. The ride home was fun and funny (and long, especially the final four hours when I was solo) and the last hour or so of it I was kind of driving like an asshole. I was tired and hungry and annoyed with being re-routed due to traffic and really wanted a shower. Kerri wasn’t here when I got home which I was bummed about at first but then realized that actually it was good because I didn’t have to be seen after only lake bathing for a week or engage in any pleasantries before tripping up the stairs and throwing my filthy self in the shower…and boy did that shower feel so good! So it’s worth noting that physically I am also feeling really good right now, as I think I have finally managed to scrape the week’s worth of buildup of mineral sunscreen off the surface of my skin. Anyway, when Kerri did get home it was great to see her (duh) though I had to request the TV not be turned on. After a week without TV, and with the quiet that comes with being on a fairly remote/quasi-primitive island, I was decidedly unready for the sights and sounds of modern life. I needed to be spared the cacophony for a few more hours. Being off-ish the grid for a week definitely makes me wish I could stay off it…and I suppose I could if circumstances allowed…but in the real world, the noise is unavoidable. So a connected life it is, but with a focus on keeping it calm, keeping it chill.

On Sunday, Kerri golfed so I was able to catch up on stuff—do my laundry, sit out back and read my Sunday Globe, drink some coffee, check on the garden, float in the pool, etc. Oh, speaking of the garden, before I went away, there was a brief conversation that went something like this as I recall:

Kerri: How will I know when the plants need water?

Me: Oh, you’ll know.

(I really thought she’d know…)

So needless to say I’m not 100% sure I want Kerri caring for me in my old age if she didn’t think these plants could have used a drink. I mean, if I’m 90 and drying up like a shrunken head doll, so much so that I’m at risk of my dentures falling out, I need to be confident that that a sip of water is forthcoming. You with me here?

(Even so, she’s still the best. And before all you Kerri fans get all worked up, I asked her if she was ok with me poking fun at her publicly here before I did. And with a small eye roll, she was ok with it.)

(Speaking of watering, if two neighbors are out in the yard doing yard things in the morning and wearing (perfectly appropriate) pajamas, the proper etiquette is to not speak and pretend you’re both blind, right? Good, because Shivani and I just did that. Good fences make good neighbors…and neighbors who pretend not to see over fences are the best ones.)

Moving right along…it’s been hot as balls here since I’ve been home. I’m so happy I don’t have to leave the house to go to work, and I’m also so happy that I invested in that little $15 USB fan on my desk for when I have to close the door to my “office” and shut the cool conditioned air out and keep the steamy air in…it approximates a sweat lodge quickly so 60-minute meetings turn it into a sauna, minus the relaxation. Today it was so hot here that after the gym I dove into the pool in my clothes the minute I got home…I was desperate to drop my core body temperature below “red alert”…and later when I had to run to the store it was full of a bunch of half-naked zombies wandering the Trader Joe’s aisles seemingly aimlessly. Extreme heat can do that to people I guess.

So here we are…Friday…the weekend beckons…the re-entry work week is behind me, something I managed to take the sting out of by booking my next vacation. Eyes on the prize. More on that another time.

Thanks for being here—I appreciate you. But just because you know that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop saying it. Have a great weekend and stay cool. Love you too.

“See” you Monday.

P.S. Special shoutout to my friend who headed to CA yesterday with a dream of summitting Mount Whitney. May the force be with you. Crank up The Sound of Music and climb every mountain. Or just the one you’ve got your eye on. 😂