250 years later
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness all are swirling in a toilet bowl at Mar-a-Lago
Between last week and now, I’ve had a lot of family time. My sis and bro-in-law came to town from MI Friday morning…the airport pickup was a good-for-a-Friday commute thanks to Good Friday, which was nice, and then the next stop was Copley Square to meet my niece (their eldest daughter, the one who goes to NU)) for coffee. Nothing like a request to go to Copley Square during Marathon weekend. 🤦🏼♀️
So it could easily have been annoying, and it was—but only a little bit. I’m angst-y in general, and this is the type of thing that takes my angst from flicker to flashover.
We were early enough that it wasn’t *that* busy…we met my niece, walked for coffee, did a short walk around Copley Square and then I got “do you mind swinging by (niece’s) so we can grab her laundry?” Not a problem, but also not particularly convenient. I live parked, did a lot of breathing exercises, and eventually my sis and bro-in-law came out carrying the laundry basket and a pillowcase stuffed with sheets, after which we were on our way home, in 45 minutes, not *too* bad at all. The traffic in and around the city is horrific as a rule now, so I’ve grown to expect it and that’s helped with the aforementioned angst. But not by as much as I’d like.
Friday night we went back into the city for dinner with the whole crew, our first time all being together in I’m not sure how long. After a glitch with one of the SpotHero parking spaces my other sis had reserved, my b-i-l dropped me, Kerri, and my mom in the middle of Prince Street and we made our way up Salem Street to LoConte’s where we were promptly shown to our table for 13. We—me, Kerri, my mom, my older sis, her husband, their two kids, my younger sis, her husband, and their three kids, plus their eldest’s gf—had a time. I was in heaven, sitting at a table with my favorite 12 people in the world, and my mom was so happy having the whole crew together. I had a few passing pangs of missing my dad, as often happens at times like this—he’d have loved it too. But since he is in actual heaven now (if that’s what you believe, anyway), I like to think he was with us, and he was happy. It also was very cool to be in the North End on the exact 250th anniversary of Paul Revere’s Ride, though I wish we had been able to partake of some of the related festivities. Instead we decided to head to Mike’s Pastry after dinner, because who goes to the North End and doesn’t get some pastries (cannoli and lobster tail to be specific) to bring home for breakfast???
My angst got a real injection Saturday, because that involved another drive back into the city, and not just a straight shot. It included a stop at my niece’s apartment in the Fenway “to grab something,” an “it will be super-quick” stop at my other niece’s dorm (it was not super-quick), then dropping people—including my 82.75 year-old mom—at Time Out Market, getting the car parked, and scurrying back to meet “everyone.”
Long story short, while my angst was in fact warranted, it also was wasted. Everything worked out great. We ended up all meeting in the beer garden at Trillium Fenway, on a perfectly perfect Spring day that felt more summer-y than spring-y. And by “all” I mean 11 of the 13 from dinner (Kerri was golfing and one of my nephews was hanging out with/supporting two of his roommates (they all live in TX) who were running the marathon on Monday), plus at least five of my other nephew’s hs friends, some of his college friends, some of their significant others, plus friends of my nephew’s gf in from Canada, etc. It was one giant happy gathering of new and old friends, and the level of “happy” was off the charts. My mom was in her glory. It was another one of those moments that you don’t see coming, but when it hits you think “life is made for times like this.”
My mom was an absolute boss after the game, walking a good distance to a perfect spot for her to sit with my b-i-l while we headed to the garage and grabbed the car. Not too much traffic home which meant we were early enough to go to Denly’s for pizza. Since my b-i-l said he had been thinking about it since he got on the plane Friday, it had to be done. It was delicious, and my mom powered through—though at that point I know she had to have been exhausted, because I know I was! All said the day was easily a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Plus one of my nieces decided to stay in the ’burbs that night so we had her with us too—total bonus.
Sunday was Easter, so we started with a leisurely morning and then walked to my sister’s at 3. She had a great cookout at the request of my nephew, to fuel his GF’s twin and a friend of theirs for the Monday Marathon. My sis and b-i-l are great hosts and they did an amazing job.
Monday was gorgeous so I picked up my sis and bro-in-law and their luggage, garaged my car on Westland Avenue, shuttled their bags to my niece’s, and made our way to the corner of Hereford and Boylston, right as runners make the final turn toward the finish line. I had one small issue with a woman who was “saving” an 8’x6’ spot of sidewalk, but as she tried to physically stop me from passing, I gave her the death stare and we made our way forward—and she still had plenty of space. By the time the twin came by, we were right up front and had a great view for pics and screaming her name. So fun—amazing day to be a Bostonian. We walked a bit after that, until we went our separate ways. They had a few hours before they were meeting their kids for dinner, but since traffic was manageable, the timing seemed right to head home.
What.
A.
Weekend.
Key takeaways:
Nothing’s better than family. Having the whole crew here reminded me of my heart’s capacity to keep on growing.
A sunny day makes everything a little bit better. Let’s face it, our attitudes are naturally influenced by weather conditions and when the sun is shining and we can feel it’s warmth, it’s a much easier starting point for virtually anything.
Angst/anxiety/worry might be warranted—but it’s also wasted energy and emotion. It’s a real balance between investing the right amount of time and energy up front to have the highest degree of confidence that it will all work out.
Of course, real life was running in parallel with our idyllic New England weekend—and the stark contrast wasn’t lost on me. It rarely is. Active awareness of the good I am experiencing often comes with active awareness that others are having an opposite experience. That doesn’t bring me down, per se, but it does give me a certain perspective and appreciation, namely an active awareness that it can all turn on a dime and a reminder to carpe the f-ck out of the diem.
Anyhow, here are some of the things that have been swirling in my head of late, my Thursday Thoughts:
The Blue Orbit launch continues to be controversial and the Gayle King response is something—she thinks, essentially, everyone should go into “space” so they’ll “get it.” She seems to forget that not everyone has that kind of money to burn, and it goes to show how out of touch people are with root issues. Also, the fact that my position is viewed as “anti-woman” is a joke. When men go “into space” on one of these tourist missions, I feel the same way, and do not think of them as “astronauts.” (I also don’t think they screamed through their flight though.) My position is consistent and goes back at least to 2021. Tourist travel into “space” is just that—the playground du jour of the wealthy fame whores among us.
The Kilmer Abrego Garcia “deportation.” Apparently technically it wasn’t a deportation, it was a rendition. I believe there are times when semantics and nuance matter—and this isn’t one of them, because the label is immaterial to my point. My issue is about due process. Do I think he’s a good guy? I don’t know him, but I have my suspicions. But they too are immaterial. There are chains of command and rules of law that need to be followed. For everyone. Like it or not. And the kicker is, if he comes back and ultimately he is deported “legally,” I’ll hear: “we told you so” and “what waste of money” ad nauseam. But that’s not the point. And I am so tired of people conveniently missing the point. (If you’re interested in the difference between deportation and rendition, a simple web search will get you there.)
Rules may be made to be broken. But that does not include the Constitution. I know Law & Order is a TV show, and it’s not one that I watch or ever watched. That said, anyone else feel like we’re losing all sense of law and order in this country? I know when it comes to customer service two “rules” are “the customer is always right” and “never say ‘that’s the policy.’” But when it comes to running a country, how does it work exactly??? The President doesn’t get to make the rules up as he goes. This unilateral policy making is out of control. Anyhow, so much of what is coming out of DC is unconstitutional, and most of the rest of it is unthinkable. Consider:
The aforementioned deportation thing. You can’t just ship out whomever, whenever. This does not mean I don’t think we need better immigration policy and tighter controls. It means that until we have them, we have to follow the letter of the law—we can’t be driven by whimsy. We can’t have masked people in street clothes and masks not showing identification and taking people off the street.
The response—or the extreme lack thereof—to Signalgate. It was met with a yawn, the case was quickly closed, and despite the new bits emerging, the Administration feels that this is the media trying to create a distraction. That’s rich…and ironic. (Pot, this is kettle…come in please.)
First up are the deleted messages of CIA director. Records retention policies are for the woke left, apparently…
Next we have the reports that Pete Hegseth also texted his wife and friends about the attacks in Yemen—and on his personal phone. I mean, in the early 1990s when I was working on the world’s first web-based IP research platform, I was told not to talk about it—and I zipped my lips. Hegseth keeps repeating that this breaking news is “old news” and describes it as “hit pieces” contain info from “anonymous sources who are disgruntled former employees.” It’s new news, and not anonymous—when sources are unnamed, they are not anonymous. (This is an example of when semantics and nuance do matter.)
The Administration claims we need Greenland for American security…but I feel like before we try to take over a country, how about we secure pour country by securing communications about actual war?
Now let’s layer on the reports that an aide (former?) allegedly told Hegseth not to use signal for those kinds of messages AND HE STILL DID, really underscores the point that these people don’t give a f-ck about protocol or the law…so their disregard for the Constitution follows quite naturally…sadly…
And…this just in, Pete Hegseth wants a beauty parlor built in the Pentagon to get his face ready for TV appearances? Our tax dollars hard at work, people. I might rather waste and fraud in the name of doing good (more on that later) than this waste by this fraud of a Defense Secretary. But his text messages!
Breaking news. The whole Memecoin thing that is unfolding in real-time makes me think “Bernie Madoff on steroids.” Trump is offering a private dinner to the top 220 (kind of a random number) investors in it. If this doesn’t stink, I don’t know what does. Trump is the President of the United States, not some downtrodden former major leaguer chain-smoking cigarettes and signing old baseball cards in a run-down conference room in some no-name hotel in some podunk town trying to make a little pocket cash. He should not be profiting off his position, nor should his children and his cronies. I heard a bit about this story last night and had big trouble falling asleep. (Also, if you pull sh-t like this you have to stop calling the Biden’s dirty crooks. Two wrongs do not make a right. And I think we have waaaay more than two wrongs on both sides. So maybe instead of finger pointing and name calling someone should start fixing something.)
Whoopsie. Tariffs. No tariffs. Reduced tariffs. Playing hardball, er, I mean Wiffle ball…I feel like he really can’t focus on anything. But the problem is no one is calling him on it.
Duuuuude…where’s my Gucci bag? I get it. Professional thieves are good. Very good. But why the hell was Kristy Noem using her purse as a treasure chest, holding things that most of us keep in *very* safe places AT HOME? Who goes to family dinner with blank checks, a wad of cash, and a passport, just in case??? Also, given all that cash and the Rolex she wears proudly, I wonder where—as a lowly government employee—she gets all her money. 🤔
Welcome to Gilead. What is up with the push to raise the birth rate? WTAF? Just when you thought we couldn’t get any more Handmaid’s Tail. As a taxpayer I don’t want any of my money going to government-funded ovulation predictors, thanks.
I ain’t listening to no stinking SCOTUS. The fact that SCOTUS is ruling “against” him (in other words, “ruling in favor of the Constitution”) is telling—and the fact that he is ignoring them is even more telling.
“Truth” Social. Spoiled brats who don’t like something often build their own other thing. It’s one way to make, break, and re-write rules on the regular. That’s the case with Truth Social. I don’t have an account, but I do follow some of the presidential “truth” telling. It’s exceptionally eye opening, though his devout followers seem to brush so much of it aside. Plus, in his Truth Social profile pic, I feel like he’s abusing the flag, really…you be the judge.
I’m not a big mythology person, but I know what happened when Icarus flew too close to the sun…and I also know what happened to King Midas in the end. I think of JD Vance as VP E Coli…everything he touches turns to 💩. This Administration is in grave danger.
What’s coming out of the 🤡’s mouth stops me in my tracks. So much so that I’ve started using “hypocrite” as a verb—he necessitates it. For example: he says something hypocritical, I think “hypocrite much?”
And lastly, while all this is going on, the Cheeto is busy walking the grounds of the White House, allegedly trying to determine where to put two new 100-foot flag poles that we’ve “needed for 200 years.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—we have bigger fish to fry.
Beware the bait and switch. The whole grants and funding situation is complex, and I don’t think people get it, TBH. Here’s my take on it.
The administration of grants is a government function, but the truth is that many of us suffer needlessly when these government programs become political and politicized. The Administration is using funding to control behavior and thus control the narrative. That will hurt people. You can’t make taxpayer-funded programs conditional on ideological compliance. For example:
In making the Harvard situation about antisemitism, the Administration uses that matter as a lightning rod, and thus a distraction from root issues, like the unlawful nature of trying to control a private university’s academic agenda.
Antisemitism is fair game for the government, but things like women’s, Black, gay, etc. rights are someone else’s problem?
I do not think all government funding is allocated or spent optimally. I think there probably is some fraud. I think there’s a lot of waste. But a lot of good comes from government-funded programs, and we need to separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff, as it were.
Funding goes to nonprofits, many of which lack the resources or ability to offer opportunities to attract top talent. They do their best—but their best often isn’t THE best.
People who oversee funding on the government side are stretched very thin and can’t manage every detail. They do their best—but their best often isn’t THE best.
By and large organizations who receive funding are supporting functions that the government is unable or unwilling to do for any number of reasons. Be it advanced scientific research that is too big for the government or local safety programs that are too small for it, much of this work is specialized and the funding model makes sense.
Also on my radar are rumors that the Administration plans to cut funding for LBGTQ+ suicide hotlines (HHS) and the Women’s Health Initiative (NIH)—and both fall under HHS, “led” by RFK, Jr.
Isn’t there supposed to be a separation of church and state? Can’t help wondering that. Go figure.
Private, shmivate. RFK, Jr.’s understanding of autism is relatively non-existent. His comments were inaccurate and offensive, yet somehow the Administration also turned a blind eye to those. Now he wants to build an autism registry…from PRIVATE medical records. If a bear looks at your private medical records in the woods, are they really private???
Pedicure and wine. For some reason, despite often wanting to smuggle a drink into the spa so I could enjoy some wine while getting a pedi, I’d never done it…but last Thursday, I decided “I’m doing it.” So I loaded my Yeti Rambler with sauvignon blanc and rambled out to the car. Once we got to the spa, we picked our colors, and both of us were seated right away. But then they only started to work on Kerri. The water for my footbath was tepid to start and getting colder by the second. No one acknowledged me, so as Kerri’s pedi moved along, I waited…very un-relaxed…so I wasn’t wasting my wine while I was aggravated. Finally, a solid 20-30 minutes later, my technician sat down, noted that they were very busy, and set to work. We were interrupted when her husband and two sons came in, but she got the kids settled in the waxing room, and her husband left. Then the kids started wilding. It seemed like one of them had a behavioral or developmental issue, so while I was sympathetic, I was not enjoying the barefoot kid careening loudly around the spa. The technician noted that her husband went to church and they had no one to watch the kids. Fair enough. (But can you put them back in the waxing room?) Next thing I knew the one kid (he was big so he took up a lot of space, which only is important to note because space in this shop is tight—clearly they are trying to squeeze profit out of every square inch of it) as practically on top of his mom, and so practically on top of my feet…and he took the stool in front of Kerri’s chair. (Her pedicure was done.) My wine sat there, still—not gonna enjoy it, not gonna drink it—and the next thing I knew, she skipped the leg massage part of the pedi (my favorite part), started painting, and the kid reached out AND TOUCHED MY TOES. The mom said “they’re still wet” (which was stating the obvious as she was in the middle of painting them) and fixed them. BUT STILL.
Old friends are the best. Pretty sure I’ve advocated for this before, maybe even multiple times…if there’s someone you’re thinking of, want to talk to, wish you hadn’t lost touch with, reach out and connect with them. Time takes its toll on a lot of things whether we like it or not—but strong connections are one thing that can withstand the test of time. And if you need a little jolt of joy in your life, activating dormant connections can be a fast pass to that. I’m hard-pressed to believe you’ll regret it. Two recent experiences for me:
I saw a LinkedIn comment by someone I worked with a loooong time ago, and hadn’t seen in person or spoken to in a good 25 years. I felt a compulsion to teach out, and ultimately that led to an amazing phone conversation the following week. It was so great. Despite the fact that we lost an active social connection, the underlying friendship and affection was preserved and intact, like an artifact from ancient Pompeii—it was just as unbelievable and beautiful too.
One of my oldest friends—with whom I stayed in touch in defiance of all social odds (we didn’t go to the same high school, only worked together for 2 summers (when we were 15 and 16) and went to college when the only connectors were letters and landlines)—was planning to be in town this past weekend. She was busy, I was busy—but we found 90 minutes yesterday to connect. And while it was a short visit, it was so good for the soul.
Whoa. Not that I care about either person, but Elizabeth Hurley and…Billy Ray Cyrus? Didn't see that one coming.
At what age are you too old for a very public hard launch of a relationship? Cellphones in schools. Yay or nay? Yes, cellphones are a distraction. In school and in all settings, pretty much. But I can’t for the life of me figure out why we need to ban them and physically lock them up. Can we just have and enforce a local “no cellphones during class/lunch/whatever” policy. I get why people are all for focusing student attention on learning. But the one reason people are opposed to the ban should not be ignored—so that students can place emergency calls when there is an active shooter situation. We need to work on that root issue too.
Aging. Getting old is something I don’t always feel, but when I feel it, I reallllllly feel it. Like when I tripped carrying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich up the stairs yesterday. I didn’t have my phone—how could I call 911 to report all of my broken bones? As it turned out, while I couldn’t hop right back up like a teenager, after the initial pain passed, I continued upstairs, went back down to test out my entire left side, grabbed an ice pack, and came back up. Not being melodramatic. It was a sadly eye-opening experience. I’ve got a few bumps and bruises today—but I’m fine. It wasn’t so hard that it triggered my Apple Watch to offer to call 911. So there’s that. But when I woke up yesterday my coffee washed down a handful of ibuprofen and I slapped that icepack on my knee while I drank the rest of it.
Old-fashioned housecleaning. The other day, apropos of something, but not something I could figure out, I was talking about carpet sweepers. I remember vividly, say, if a cracker got crumbled into the gold rug at my grandparents’ house, my grandmother would say, “Just grab the Hoky” and we’d fight to “sweep” it up. Made me wonder if carpet sweepers are still a thing today. They are, and there are plenty to choose from on Amazon. If you’re not boycotting them. Ahhhh. Memories.
Old-fashioned sayings. “You get more flies with honey than vinegar,” they say. But in reality, sometimes you don’t need to catch a lot of flies, you just need to catch the one specific one, and honey is the wrong bait. This is an important lesson about using the right tool for the job at the right time. You can be as nice as you want, but if you’re not getting the outcome you need, sometimes you need to take a different approach. In the case of getting our pool repaired under warranty, in a claim we’ve been pursuing nicely for several years, asking “Do I need to get an attorney involved at this point?” before signing off politely on my most recent follow-up message seemed to do the trick. It wasn’t an empty threat. I’m ready to throw down. After weeks of several unanswered messages, in a matter of minutes, both the owner of the pool company and the pool plastering company responded. Guess what? Both appreciate the patience, are very sorry for the delay, and are anxious to get to resolution. It’s a fine line we have to walk as consumers—we need to exercise the rights that we paid for, but we want satisfactory, quality resolution. If only the government had a robust agency protecting consumer interests…🤦🏼♀️ Also, to go back to #3 above, when it comes to customer service, you don’t say “I didn’t own the company then” as if that voids the warranty, and then go AWOL.
RIP, Pope Francis. God bless Pope Francis for hanging on to give this broken world an Easter Blessing.
JD Vance is living proof that rock bottom always is a little lower than you think possible.
Do you think the Pope wished he hadn’t spent 17 of his final seconds with JD?
Or do you think it was the Cheeto’s own Easter “blessing” that put the Pope over the edge?
Also I heard that the Pope’s death caused an almost 300% increase in streams of Conclave. That’s the sign of a real influencer.
Come together. Right now. Because I went to the Marathon on Monday, I was thinking of the Marathon bombing, 12 years ago. I was reminded of how we all came together in the days after that horrific act of terrorism. And then it further reminded me of how we came together after another act of terrorism, 9/11.
America has built much of its success in free speech. It’s a country of opposing viewpoints and conflicting opinions. In government, through debate and dialogue, our thinking evolves such that we elevate our understanding of things to arrive outcomes that—at the highest level—meet the needs of the masses. And that in a large part is what made America great. Now, that dynamic is changing radically. Successful systems are being dismantled for no valid reason and to the detriment of our nation. Instead of listening to opposing views, we wait for the first available opportunity to call the speaker “un-American.”
I’m furious that as a nation we come together in grief but not in joy. As a nation, we unite for all the wrong reasons. We’re doing it all wrong. Right now, in this time of divisiveness and strife—but absent sheer joy or grief—seems like a perfect time to come together.
14 seems a good number of thoughts…mainly I didn’t want to stop at 13. I don’t necessarily think that it’s an unlucky number (especially when it comes to a baker’s dozen of bagels or donuts!) but given how everything is going of late, I figured why chance it? SO instead of doing 13. e., I bumped it to 14.
We’ve come a long way in 250 years, but we also need to remember our roots, I think.
Thanks for the time you’ve spent here with me during the last few of those years. I appreciate your time, attention, and support.
Love you too.
Annnnnd…a little additional freestyle commentary from me.