Changes…to face the strange…and the familiar.
New year, same you, everything and nothing strange about it. Right?
First post of the new year falls on “Transformation Tuesday”, which should be a pretty easy setup for the discussion…what bigger opportunity to transform is there than that presented by the fresh start and limitless possibility of a new year? Except for the parts of it that I talked about last week, which essentially is that the new year isn’t really the be-all-end-all of transformation. It’s not to speak disparagingly about the new year or those folks who bet the farm on it, but rather to remind people that there’s ample opportunity to make whatever change/fresh start/whatever else beyond that single day. The important bottom line when it comes to transformation is this, I think: There’s no time like the present. The present is always now. And now isn’t always January 1. (Interested in starting something and making it a habit? James Clear is clear about how to do this in his great book Atomic Habits, which I recommend highly. (Been proudly making my bed every day without fail since reading it.))
All that said, I get that some people like to anchor their resolutions to the start of a new year (or to the start of the week or to a particular milestone or whatever else), so I if it works for you, go for it.
And I also get that the “year” (as in “last year” and “new year” and “next year” and “in five years”) is a easy framing construct…but if the last two years haven’t taught you anything, perhaps now is the time to study the Cliff Notes version and start cramming on those lessons. The last two weeks exist as a tremendously sad microcosm of the last two years. It seemed it couldn’t possibly get any worse than 2020 but then again maybe it could and maybe it did. I know this NYE I was feeling like things were a lot more of a raging shitstorm than when 2020 wound down. Hope was higher then, I think…in hindsight (f-cking hindsight!). Now, as optimistic as we might try to be, we’re feeling a bit beaten about the head with a 2x4…and I think that’s ok. It sucks that these are the circumstances of the world, but it’s ok to have bouts of feeling defeated by them. And while a “year” might be a tidy construct, the time that passes within that construct is anything (everything?) but tidy, so there might be a better way to wrangle our effort relative to our desired results than starting anew on any given 1/1/YYYY. Resolve if you want to, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t, and don’t judge whatever people are or aren’t doing whenever.
Anyhow…
I didn’t have to work last week. A few years ago the Association I work for decided to shut down between Christmas and the New Year, and it’s a nice time not to be working, but also weird not to have anything to do. And for me sometimes “doing nothing” is accompanied by a certain pressure to “do something” (like what???). Fortunately my Mom issued a timely reminder to always take a deep breath and enjoy. And in her advice I realized that I wasn’t doing nothing—not being scheduled and scripted does not mean I’m being useless. But sometimes I mistakenly and misguidedly confuse the two, so thankfully mother knows best! Relaxing and recharging is vital…and there’s no need for me to gum that up with any guns-ho resolution (because let’s face it, whatever has waited for 54.6 years…so it can wait a week…but the important stuff can’t wait forever either).
Anyhow…
As we look to transform, I know lots of people focus on making (always admirable!) (sometimes misguided!) healthy diet/exercise/lifestyle choices…so there I was lounging on the couch and watching the Today show, eating leftover chocolate (but tofu!) pie, drinking coffee, and gearing up to meet friends at a brewery and then a distillery…and the segment involved a bakery…and cinnamon rolls. So the reporter said something about how when she was waiting in line she mentioned it being a “cheat day” (because sweets) to her “line friend” and that the woman responded that she wasn’t cheating, she was living. (Go, “line friend”!) It also bears noting that in between my couch time and the brewery I had signed up for a class at the gym and was fully committed to working out…the point is that it’s about balance…of being smart and being “stupid”…of making good and bad choices…of being responsible and of being frivolous. Bottom line here? Fun isn’t cheating, so don’t call it that and make it—and you—feel somehow “less than.” I think balance is an important thing to remind ourselves of, and frequently. Life is about the balance, the yin and the yang, the dark and the light…as we start a year with high hopes, it might make sense to be a bit less high and a bit more measured…not necessarily to lower our aspirations but rather to align them with the appropriate level of commitment, and at the most optimal time for us.
Anyhow…
While the ebb and flow of life is on my mind, how about the complete kick in the balls of Betty White dying on NYE? Betty symbolized so much that was good, almost like she put the “good” in the “good old days”. She was funny and feisty and resilient and unapologetic. She was coy and cute. And when you’re getting mad at 2021 for taking out Betty…keep in mind that it also took out the rest of the living MTM cast as well (Cloris/Phyllis, Gavin/Murray, and Ed/Lou)…interestingly enough, in 2020 the Grim Reaper left the cast alone. Also don’t lose the lesson in how Betty’s death was recognized on social media…her life celebrated by all walks of life, all races, generations, etc.—proving that we can come together and rally and agree on something, despite what we put forth as uncrossable boundaries. It gave me a glimmer of hope, perhaps strangely. Bottom line here is that 2021 well may be the year we will be wagging our middle fingers at for all of eternity.
Anyhow…
“Transformation” shares a prefix with “transistor” which makes me think “radio” which reminds me of a change I made the other day. I wanted to watch the Bruins and I wanted to walk, and I wanted to both at the same time. So I decided to walk and listen to the Bruins game—best of both worlds, right? Better than best of, actually. While technically I was mutli-tasking (walking AND listening), I was fully immersed in the game (no multi-screening or other at-home distractions) and fully present in my walk. Highly recommend taking some time to listen to a game vs watch it—completely different (and more gratifying, IMO) experience. And when the Bs tied it at 1, anyone driving by or in earshot got to “enjoy” a strangled sort of whoop and arms-in-the-air celebration. (Props to Weymouth’s own Charlie Coyle for potting the winner in OT in his first game back from Covid quarantine/protocol.)
Anyhow…
Speaking of change, this one’s old news (2019) but is something I just learned on Sunday when Willie Geist sat down with him for a Sunday Sitdown. U2 no longer holds the record for the highest grossing tour in the world…Ed Sheeran does. That’s kind of a mindf-ck, no? Can we adjust for inflation and get those Irish rockers back atop the pile? I mean, Ed’s fine…but… highest grossing tour of all time???
Anyhow…
Thanks for being here, thanks so much. I wish each of you a very happy right now, and many happy moments until we meet again next week, on Wednesday.
Love you too.
If the East Cottage Cocktail is considered cheating, I may never play by the rules again!
Happy New Year! May 2022 bring as many changes and new beginnings as you deem fit for your happiness :)