Pretirement preflections

Circle jerking, knee-jerking jerks

Well…it’s Tuesday…the day I talk about transformation in some form and to some extent. Usually, I find some sense of positive and productive growth to focus on, and when I thought about it yesterday I thought it would be some benign something about hitting the curveballs life throws at you, not getting discourage when you whiff, practice practice practice, etc. etc., etc. But the fact of the matter is simple: I’m not feeling all “rah rah kumbaya” this morning…so what to write about?

Fortunately, I needed to give Kerri a ride to the boat this morning, an act that somehow (and unexpectedly) gave me a jump start here. We were talking about the state of the world and it immediately woke me from deep, disoriented, and 3/4 asleep and sent me into a bit of a wild frenzy, such that she was probably very happy to get out of the car.

I got home, grabbed a cup of coffee, drank it in the back yard while doing some deep breathing exercises between sips, and here we are.

I have no choice but to address some of the adverse effects we feel when transformation is thrust upon us, the kind of change that can leave us unsure of what to do or think or feel or—in this particular case—the kind that gets us all riled up, sure of the wrongness of it all, unsure of how to make it right again.

Gratuitous photo from my walk to my happy place on Sunday, an act of sheer desperation, really. But being there and looking at this pic can calm me down. A little. For a second.

In general, I’m in a weird space now…a bit of professional limbo…but I was dealing with it ok. I’ve talked here about being semi-retired, of labeling this unexpected (but in some ways enjoyable) stage of life “pretirement.” I’m not ready to be done working, but I am ready for my final professional chapter to be lived on my terms, spoken in my own words. I don’t think it makes me unrealistic or selfish—rather I think this phase is the culmination of all my education, professional training, on-the-job lessons learned, and general life experience, everything I have done and worked for, which if you ask me is perfectly perfect. Save for a few minor details…like income.

But anyway…

I’ve been listening to a lot of The Smiths (and Morrissey) lately, as the music offers the right vibes for me right now—a good mix of agony and ecstasy and mainly it serves to remind me of a single important fact, that their music has accompanied me through every angst-y stage in my life and I’m still here so…here’s hoping to better tomorrows. (Though by “tomorrow” I don’t mean “the day after today.” I mean “the future, hopefully in my lifetime.”

So when I was walking and “Ouija Board, Ouija Board” came on shuffle play the other day it hit hard…I flashed back to all those “seances” we had as kids, pushing that oracle of a plastic triangle but denying we were, begging the Ouija Board to provide us with an answer we weren’t even sure we wanted, but hey—magic! And I think we all could use a little magic right now.

Speaking of magic, as a more reliable alternative to put our minds at ease about the future, we could always give the old Magic 8 ball a good shake to check on whether things are likely to get better soon:

“Don’t bet on it” is right…good thing I’m not a gambler just the same.

…or maybe give it another shake, right?

I’m getting off track, so let’s get back on track-ish. Over the last year or so I’ve been faced with the latest professional curveball and its associated uncertainties—and recently had reached the point where I was embracing it all as opportunity, seeing lots of possibility. But now that this conflagration in DC reached a flashpoint, I’m no longer sure I’ll be able to keep dealing with things practically, mentally, financially, and/or emotionally. The politicization and polarization in the world today make anything that seems even remotely optimistic feel like a bit of a longshot.

It totally sucks.

So today I am going to vent a bit—a little bit, a lotta bit, or something else (it’s always a bit of a mystery here for me, but if that ride this morning was any indication, well, buckle up)—about the changing circumstances and conditions of the world (transformation being forced on us), opine on how I think we’re shortsighted and misguided, and hopefully offer some ideas and suggestions for how I think we can turn the negatives into some positives, or how we can learn from what’s happening to improve the experience within our individual spheres of control.

So I guess I’ll let it rip, make a mess, and then hopefully clean it up before I send you back to your week.

And with that as an introduction, I am sitting at the keyboard, fingers suddenly seizing up…where to even start? Just…go…

• Well, since the public bullying of Zelensky is still giving me a pit in my stomach, I’ll start there. I have yet to hear one Trump supporter say, “I approve of the way he and JD ganged up on, treated, and bullied Zelensky.” I have heard cries of “he wants peace,” “I’m for America, I stand with the President,” “Standing with Ukraine is un-American” and “You have no idea what Biden did to America.” And all of that is irrelevant and immaterial. I’ve been lectured about the history of Russia-Ukraine relations been in debates about whether old promises should ever have been made let alone kept (interesting, but tangential to my point). I’m furious about and embarrassed by how those two clowns behaved, talking over each other and Zelensky. My question is not about whether Trump wants peace or whether I think there should be a cease fire or who I think is to blame for what in the war…it’s solely about that childish schoolyard bully display alone. So I am asking for the last (for now) time: DOES ANYONE THINK THAT BEHAVIOR WAS OK? (The only thing I’m grateful for is that Elon Musk wasn’t in the room. I think he was in a birthing ward somewhere as his 14th (not a typo) child was born. Dude is a walking sperm bank.) This situation reinforced two things to an unthinkable extent: 1) our president is a bully and a boor and 2) many of his supporters don’t even know what they are supporting and why.

• Putin wants to win, Zelensky doesn’t want to be told what to do, and Trump wants to be the hero. Putin wants to take the country, but first, Trump wants to take its minerals…leaving what? How is that a good deal for Ukraine? I don’t know if Zelensky does or doesn’t want peace, though I assume he does—he definitely doesn’t want to give away his country. Trump says he wants peace, though it appears only in very specific and limited capacity. Since when does being bullied into submission = finding peace??? Depends on how you define “peace” I guess. And last night’s breaking news that Trump was pausing all military aid, well, I haven’t had time to process that. The larger questions here, for me anyway, when you consider world politics are these: To what extent are leaders required to keep the promises of the past? And which promises are required to follow that rule, and which ones get to ignore it? Does it make sense to make promises on behalf of other nations, possibly without their consent? (Plus, everyone knows promises are made to be broken—just look at the current Administration for some timely relevant examples if you doubt me.) Maybe, if when the Russian tanks were rolling in Zelensky had said “Thank you for coming,” we’d be having a different discussion right now.

• Yesterday when speaking of the conflict the Cheeto said, “It takes two to tango and you’re going to have to make a deal with Russia and you’re going to have to make a deal with Ukraine.” But doesn’t that describe a three-person tango?

• During his visit to the WH, Zelensky was asked why he doesn’t wear a suit and questioned on the disrespectfulness of that decision. *Everyone* knows why he dresses like that (in solidarity with his troops) and, um, Elon dresses like, uh, actually I’m not even sure what, but it’s not a suit FFS. Play fair, Mr. Stick-Up-Your-Ass, Ass-licking Pool Reporter, Brian Glenn. Don’t ask questions to stir the pot and/or ask questions you already know the answers to.

• As a general rule in life, I like to think then act. Granted there are some situations where we might not have the luxury of time to plan, but those are few and far between. A little planning helps to avoid needless re-work (waste of money) and embarrassing “whoopsies.” In DC, they fired the nuclear experts and bird flu people, needed to call them back, and had no way to reach them. And don’t even get me started on the tariffs. They’re in. Out. Back in. Canada and China have already started to retaliate. Watch your wallets—a trade war is underway.

• Seriously, how the Cheeto can tell anyone with a straight face that US consumers won’t end up indirectly paying these tariffs is unthinkable. Does he think anyone will be fine with just paying 25% more, be it the exporter, the importer, or the consumer? And it’s not a shell game—it’s real money we are talking about. “They’re being punished by tariffs,” the orange one says. But we are they…we are the ones who will be financially punished. (Glad you voted for him now?) I just heard the caution from the TV: Watch consumer prices. Stockpile produce while you can still (barely) afford it. And forget about it if you need a new car. Or parts to repair your old one. Oh, just walk.

• The “work” of DOGE continues to befuddle me. If I was looking to cut waste and drive efficiencies, I’d do it from the inside out first and then outside in. I’d start with my employee base and have them make suggestions, implement what I could, and then I’d have processes audited from the outside to find additional savings and efficiencies. But this way I’d maintain a little trust with my employees and show a little empathy and compassion. Business can be hard but hard doesn’t need to mean stupid or careless or heartless. And then you might avoid some of the aforementioned poor-planning fueled “whoopsies.” Bottom line: I have been asked to make cuts for various reasons, and not once did I start by firing people I didn’t like.

• Do you think Elon Musk has ever heard of succession planning? Think about it. Cutting all probationary period employees makes no sense. It’s easy, sure. But is it smart? Does it really save anything? Presumably they are lower paid than lifers. Plus, government leadership turns over regular thanks to election cycles. But who keeps the plates spinning? Cuts require context—performance, numbers, etc. Seems like this is all about $ and not—gasp—quality. But anyway, with no probationary employees and no incentive to work for the government, what will happen when the retained workers age out?

• I’m not really sure how Pete Bourbon determined that Russia no longer is a cybersecurity threat. I mean, we’ve got a history of spying (if you don’t believe me, watch The Americans) and there’s been some hullabaloo about election interference, which would be enough cause for alarm for me…but the mere fact that DOGE bros have (presumably unsecured) access to personal and confidential information alone tells me that there is indeed a very real threat, thank you very much.

• With all this “savings,” where is money going? I don’t see our debt going down, I don’t see my retirement savings going up, and grocery prices are, frankly, f-cking ridiculous.

• Social Security is deemed a Ponzi scheme…yet slashing social service programs to establish a government (taxpayer) funded crypto reserve is somehow above-board and fiscally responsible. Hello? Pot, this is Kettle calling. Bernie Madoff has got to be rolling in his grave right now. (He is dead, right?)

• How is success being measured by this Administration? We’ve got this flurry of activity, lots of activity, lots of smoke and mirrors…but can we just get a f-cking dashboard or something so we can see how we’re actually doing? I wanna see the balance sheet…are we saving or just changing where we spend money (based on grudges, personal agendas, politicization). Trump accused the Biden Administration of making everything political (but it is politics, so, uh, duh?) but essentially isn’t he re-politicizing everything only with different politics?

• Trump promised a lot of stuff “on day one” that never materialized. Why are people giving him a free pass IF THAT IS WHY THEY VOTED FOR HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE???

• I saw a very funny social post the other day that said, “Women for Trump is like lobsters for boiling water.”

• I also saw a decidedly unfunny post that said the number of cases of measles was higher than the number of trans athletes. RFK, Jr., if you are reading this: IT IS A BIG DEAL.

• I also saw a post of a meme noting: “Women’s sports are not a backup option for mediocre male athletes.” Anyone who thinks that someone would go through the emotionally and physically grueling (and shameful, thanks to our collective ignorance) process of transitioning just to achieve sports glory in some low stakes (insert sporting event here) is—and this is the nicest way I can put it—out of their f-cking mind, plain and simple.

• The Cheeto designated English as the official language of the US. Add that to the previous “bigger fish to fry” Executive Orders list (see 1.a.i. here). And I kind of hope when he travels internationally people only speak to him in the local language. (Does anyone know if he speaks any languages other than “barely English”?)

• Also on the bigger fish to fry list was the release of the FBI Kennedy assassination files. But where are we with the Epstein files? 🤔😕🤨🧐 (I feel like that footage of the Cheeto with Epstein could be damning, and the powers that be are trying to figure out how to incriminate Clinton but exonerate Trump in this. But what do I know?)

• And speaking of disgusting perverts, is there anyone among the rabid Trump supporters out there who can give me a decent explanation for why we let the Tate brothers back into the country?

Welp.

I’m pissed, and I’m no longer keeping quiet or considering my audience when I say what I think. Sorry not sorry.

I did make the mess as expected but I’m not sure how well I’m going to clean it up by way of productive actionable solutions.

So I’m going to focus on a few things to wrap up:

1. Blindly supporting him just because you voted for him or just because he is the President is neither pro-American nor patriotic. His bobbleheads remain blissfully unaware/in denial of the fact that such support in some cases is anti-American (based on 250 years of history and democratic ideals). And lastly, disagreeing with the President does not make a person a traitor.

2. Education is the answer. When you watch a video clip of Bill O’Reilly loudly opining to Chris Cuomo and Stephen A. Smith on what he believes Trump is doing regarding Ukraine-Russia and why is doing it, DO NOT CONCLUDE THAT WHAT O’REILLY IS SAYING IS TRUE. It is his opinion, it is one single possibility, but—sit down for this—it is not a factual representation of the truth. It’s Bill O’Reilly telling you what he thinks about Trump. Take yourself out of the telephone game. Educate yourself. Here are some suggestions for how to see and decide for yourself:

   1. Watch him speak. Read fact-based pieces that cite sources. You can’t tell the left they are being lied to by the media and at the same time think that “your” media is telling the truth. Educate yourself. Conclude for yourself. Decide for yourself.

   2. Read. Google these or hit me up if you want details. I need to wrap this up and need a fresh cup of coffee. Don’t believe everything you read or everything you think—but read to stimulate your own thinking.

      1. Dan Rather

      2. Framechange

      3. FrameLab

      4. Heather Cox Richardson

      5. Robert Reich

      6. Here are two articles I read this week:

         1. One Word Describes Trump - The Atlantic (everyone should understand the one word, spoiler alert, it’s patrimonialism).

         2. Opinion | Is CIA Director Bill Burns a Biden Yes-Man, a Putin Apologist, or a Peacemaker? | Common Dreams

   3. Be open. That O’Reilly clip and Common Dream article above? I watched and read those based on “suggestions” I got from others. And I made my own independent conclusions from them. I plan to watch Joint Address to Congress tonight—ignoring things does not make them go away.

   4. I’ll take recs for well-written and researched fact-based policy pieces .

   5. Try using ChatGPT: feed it articles you don’t understand and ask it to summarize it in a way a 10-year-old could understand.

3. Don’t dig in on positions that you can’t support.

   1. When I ask, for example, “Why do you think ___________________?” Do not reply with anything about Biden or Clinton or anyone else. Answer my question. If you can’t, that should give you pause.

   2. What, specifically, do you mean when you say you want to “make America great again” and put “America First”? How, specifically, do you think Trump’s activities thus far support those objectives?

   3. I find, in general, that people who don’t have answers don’t like being asked questions…and I find that dynamic happens often with Trump and his supporters. They deflect, distract, etc. And the one that really infuriates me seems to be the most common tactic, giving some unrelated retroactive “justifications” for current actions. Growing up, if we did that, we were chastised for “old news-ing.” The past is the past.

4. I wish Trump would articulate his end game in a succinct, specific, explicit paragraph of no more than five sentences. (No semi-colons or em dashes allowed.). I’d love to hear him say how he acted the other day was for the good of America. I’d love for him to explain how you cut USAID and say you care about the good of the world. Lots of questions. See 3. c. above.

Transformation is about learning and growth. And I am working hard on doing both. I’m a student of logic and reason and I am open to information, facts, and to changing my mind. But I need to be convinced. I need evidence.

It’s a crazy time. A lot is changing. Some of it will stick. Most of it will go away (I hope). But the larger lesson here is to remember that sometimes transformation means fighting back.

Thanks for keeping me company here through these wild and crazy times. Your support means the world. (So too does your patience…today was a meandering journey and I am going to send it without a thorough proofread. It’s late, and as I just noted, I need more coffee.)

Love you too.