Relaxation, rejuvenation, recalibration…aka attempted renewal
Among other things—here’s a roundup
If you read last week’s bit, you know I’m on vacation for a stretch and that—in my own estimation—I needed it. My focus for this time away is taking care of myself. The days leading up to vacation were rocky, and not just because of the iffy travel-day forecast. The synapses were short circuiting faster than I could keep up, so it’s a good thing I had this vaca on the books, giving me the time and space I need to get everything upstairs rewired properly…or at the very least to get the underlying schematic in order. 🤦🏼♀️
For a little immediate context, I just brewed my cup of coffee at mom’s Keurig sans pod, so I am not the sharpest knife in the shed or the brightest bulb in the drawer this morning…but I do have a proper cup now…although this is a bit out of order for me because at home the routine is “write then coffee.” But anyway…
Let me put it in reverse for a second.
I’ve been having trouble processing the large gap between my actual circumstances relative to my desired/acceptable (let alone optimal) circumstances and have struggled to swim across or build a bridge between the two, and not for a lack of trying.
As part of that (re-)building process, a few weeks ago I introduced you to “slow drawing”, something I’ve taken up to force myself to dial it down and focus on something meditative/calm/mindful. (The irony is not lost on me, that I need to force myself to slow down and make time for anything, since all I have is time…but that’s a whole other matter.) So two weeks ago I participated in a 5-day drawing challenge led by my slow drawing guru (Amy Maricle, author of Draw Yourself Calm) called “The Simplest Things.” Each day we got a prompt and needed to draw (or paint) (or both) something inspired by said prompt. Over the course of the challenge the five prompts were:
How many lines
Mark of your brush
Circle
The letter N
Wild waves
Here are my five resultant “creations”:
It was a really fun activity, and even though I invested only maybe 90 minutes (tops) in the whole thing, I learned so much, namely:
If you have creative itches in your brain, they need to be scratched. (It’s not like chicken pox, when itch scratching is bad.)
You often think or tell yourself that you’re focused, and you’re not even close to paying attention—it’s so important to rein the mind in before your soul becomes collateral damage.
You often think you’re slowing down, and you’re not. Gotta keep a life pace that you can sustain.
Mistakes are ok—I made plenty in the above pics relative to what I hoped, planned, and tried to do. Was the outcome substantively changed in any of those cases? Nope.
Finding the balance between planning and execution is huge; it’s critical to spend the time you have wisely, and in the right place.
I need more colors in my colored pencil tray.
And I need a pencil sharpener.
You need to put yourself out there. If for no other reason than to prove to yourself that when you do, it doesn’t suddenly all go to hell.
And, lastly…there are lessons everywhere…looking for them and applying them constantly keeps life challenging, interesting, and somehow makes it feel bigger. (That last one is especially important when you know the road out the windshield is shorter than the one in the rearview, but you don’t know by how much.)
I’m so happy I did the challenge, am glad I can accept that my creativity is stuck at a grade-school level but that I appreciate it as an outlet just the same, and am inspired to continue to make time to nurture my creative seedlings. It frees my mind and soul, thus no reason not to do it.
As much as the drawing challenge helped, it didn’t completely cure whatever is ailing me and thus I took this change of scenery as another opportunity to change my perspective and adjust my attitude.
So during this time away, I’m crawling out of the ruts I’ve created and enjoying some ground that is smoother in some ways but not in others. The proverbial grass isn’t greener and it’s been a bit of a mixed bag here in FL for a few reasons (🤦🏼♀️) (weather, tight quarters, unspoken expectations, etc.—in other words, pretty much living a Progressive Insurance commercial) but overall it’s working for me. My heart is full from seeing my mom, sis, two nieces, and extended family, doing lots of normal vacation stuff (beach, beers, pool, cards, beers, etc.)—aka things that make me happy (with a hearty side of annoyance of course).
Anyhow, here’s some of what else I’m up to:
Reading
I finished The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride and really adored it. It painted a pic of a people and a time and a place and circumstances with which I was unfamiliar and then gave me a number of angles and perspectives with which to consider it all. I had to read it slow because I had to think and feel and let it sink in as I went along. I loved it, though for me overall it was a sobering reminder of all of the people who worked themselves to the bone and endured hardship after hardship as our society evolved, and how we disrespect them today in our trivial (yet major) differences in the face of all the advantages their sacrifices afford us. I know, it was fiction—but the premise holds. We selfishly waste the sacrifices of those who came before us with all our nonsense in the name of progress. It’s so frustrating to think about how relatively easy so many of us have it, and how much opportunity we manage to squander just the same. Our days are tinged with frustration and dissatisfaction…anger and hatred…if we were more grateful and appreciative of the simple pleasures and how good we have it, maybe that would start to smooth some of the sharp edges of the world. But what do I know?
Because I had done so much thinking and feeling while reading that book, I needed something light next…so I went with Taylor Jenkins Reid’s Daisy Jones and The Six. I want to watch the show and felt like I needed to read the origin story first, and it did the trick. I enjoyed the book and the interview construct very much, and now look forward to watching the show.
I don’t remember where I saw We Should Not Be Friends: The Story of a Friendship by Will Schwalbe reviewed and recommended but it has been on my list since, mainly because I have one of those best-yet-should-not-be-friends friends, and I wanted to see whether or how our stories compared. So when it was available to pop onto my Kindle before heading here, I happily downloaded it, promptly blasted through it, and enjoyed it so much. It was a beautifully written story that had me hanging on every word. The two friends who shouldn’t have been met at Yale in the mid 1980, which I smarted a bit about to start. The book starts back when I was (supposed to be) going to Yale…except I ended up not going there due to a small indiscretion and a super-sized (not to mention disproportionate) punishment that derailed that plan. Of course the train wreck that is my life got on a different track that led me to my current life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. (Well, I’d make a few small trade offs if the overarching story and key plot lines stayed intact.) (For more on my unlikeliest friendship, you can read about it here.) As soon as I finished the book I Googled the characters—I just had to see what they look like. Anyhow, if you have a friend you should not be friends with—and if you do you know it—you must read this book.
Now I’m in the middle of The Winners, the third (and I believe final) installment in Fredrik Backman’s Beartown series. I’m no quitter, so I had to read this, even though—despite loving the first two—I was a bit skeptical there was enough story for a third book. Glad I did, because I’m sucked right into this one, and loving it.
Watching
The Bachelor, of course. While he’s not exactly my type, Joey is so cute. That said, not that I would ever be on the show, if I were I would take some creative liberties and tell people I was a “Project Manager.” Scrap this “Junior” BS, Kelsey A. You’re on The Bachelor so you should understand the idea of self-promotion—promote yourself. Drop the Junior. I got to watch this week’s ep with my niece, which was so fun—we enjoyed sharing our feedback on the contestants. 😂 And we agreed on who should not get a rose.
If you’re a product of the 80s and/or like music in general, The Greatest Night in Pop (Netflix) is a fun watch. It chronicles the making of “We Are the World” from inception to success. I had no idea (or if I had at one point it was long forgotten) that Lionel Richie was such a driving and guiding force behind and beside it. Good work, Lionel (though I’ll never forgive him for running off that stage in Aspen that time at the first sign of bad weather; we all know you were more worried about getting back to your Vegas residency than anything else. Unforgivable.) The documentary was great—all those pop icons in one room pulling an all nighter. Almost unthinkable.
And, just for fun:
Eating & Drinking
My youngest niece’s birthday falls during this vacation week and I love that I get to celebrate with her. That said it also means—every year—that my mom agonizes over making a pie (Mud or Peanut Butter—this year was the latter) with Oreo cookie crust when she doesn’t have the proper equipment (no food processor or KitchenAid mixer here). Inevitably we get a great pie out of it but we also get a lot of frustration and a lot of cookie crumbs everywhere. Not to mention some on-set drama, as it were.
We went to a new Mexican place (La Mesa) for dinner to celebrate the aforementioned birthday and it was great. I never mind a good Ranch Water, the tableside guac was 🔥, the food overall was fantastic, and the place had a good vibe.
It was pretty much an homage to tequila. Not a problem for me.
Tequila aside, it’s mostly been Mich Ultra, Mich Ultra, and more Mich Ultra. “Toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand…life is good today.” I owe it to Zac Brown to live true to the “Toes” lyrics…so cold beer on the beach it is!
(That said, my mom has a ladies luncheon today so we’re hoping to dart down the beach to the Marriott for a Piña Colada with a Myers Rum floater. Gotta shake it up a bit and get tropical while I’m here…even if I’m in a hoodie. (57° in FL in February is a completely different season from 57° in MA in February. 🤣)
Listening
There was a free concert at the beach the other day, The Back Country Boys, and they were rock solid for a college country boy band. I love live music and knew a lot of the songs so I was happy. Later that same day (Monday) we went to dinner at the rebuilt Snook Inn and sat outside. Live music was provided by the band Jah Rockaz and when they played the 80s classic “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now” I thought I died and went to heaven. So fun.
Thanks for joining me in the ruts, in the green grass, and in the rain. The sun rises and sets, over and over, each day a new possibility. And I appreciate the do overs these days.
The change is gonna come—and we’re in it together.
Love you too.