Thursday Thoughtsunami
The mind is a funny thing…and a “funny” thing…and also a very not funny at all thing.
Last week I noted a change…those subtle and not-so-subtle clues that Fall is ready to make its annual appearance are dropped everywhere, as obvious as the candy clues in “Hansel & Gretel”. (Or do I misremember that fairy tale?) In any case the local meteorologist just uttered the words “false Fall.” 🤦🏼♀️
Fall is lurking…making it that much more important to remember this: we still have a month of summer!!!
As such, I need to check myself and banish the phrases “it’s getting dark” and “it’s getting chilly” from my vocabulary for the next few weeks. I need to self-police and save myself from getting caught up in all this “False Fall” and Pumpkin Spice blah blah blah B.S. and inadvertently prematurely ending Summer.
Other than creating and implementing strategies designed to stretch this glorious season out until it’s (sure to be sad) actual end, plenty has been on my mind, with some stuff weighing (much) (MUCH) (MUCH!) heavier than other stuff. Here’s an assortment of it:
That lobster roll I had for lunch on Friday at Green Harbor Lobster Pound. If you haven’t sat a picnic table with your mom watching the tide come in, eating exquisite lobster, and drinking rose…for hours…you haven’t lived. Sheer bliss. We can’t remember when it became an annual event for us (3 years ago? 4?) but we agree that it’s a summer highlight. We don’t get time like that together, undistracted, nothing else to do but sit. Eat. Drink. Talk. It’s so great. Like this great:
Not getting “Storrowed.” I’m gearing up to welcome my two Michigan nieces (back) to Boston for junior and first year at NU and BU respectively. I’m excited for both of them—so much opportunity lies in front of each of them—and I can’t wait to see them. I’m slightly less excited for the back-to-back weekends of the grunt work that is getting them moved in, though I’m a lot less flustered by the dorm move-in on Monday than I am by the Fenway apartment takeover on September 1. 🤦🏼♀️
The relativity of everything. But when I type this right now, I am thinking exclusively of politics.
First of all, my thoughts on why Kamala is so “popular”. As I see it, it’s quite simple, really. Our choices pre-K were a sitting duck and a clusterf-ck. Yes, I fully support Kamala. Does that mean I agree with everything she thinks (or doesn’t) or everything she says (or doesn’t)? No. Do I think she’s The Greatest Presidential Candidate Ever? Also no. And that illustrates part of the problem that I see in today’s sociopolitical landscape. Everything has to be black or white, all or nothing….and that kind of thinking is just driving a wedge between things and making them (seem) farther apart and far more at odds than they probably actually are. But perception is reality and now we’re so far apart that even those with 20/20 vision can’t see things with any relative clarity. Calls to mind the expression “the lesser of two evils”??? I’m not saying either candidate is literally evil (though I have my thoughts on that), but I am saying that we’re in a moment of picking our proverbial poison. There never will be a perfect candidate. And we won’t ever all always agree. And that’s ok. But right now I feel like as a nation we’re desperately dog paddling through the cesspool of polarization and hatred that defines today’s politics, hoping to grab any lifeline that will pull us out of it. But the thing is even when we do get rescued, we’ll still be covered in sh-t—stinky, in need of a good scrubbing, and unlikely to live down the horror for generations to come. But it’s a start. And you have to start somewhere, because if you never start you’ll never finish; you’ll always sit in wonder or fear or…worst of all…regret. What kind of a statement do we want to make when we elect our next President? For me, it’s about a combination of character and values and policy and choosing the candidate who offers the best—not perfect—alignment with me on those things.
The same people who can’t bring themselves to admit that Kamala is Black are awfully quick to say, “Kamala is a Communist.” What gives??? If anyone wants to share the facts that confirm she is a communist I am all ears/eyes. And you can’t call Kamala a communist and then get all pissy when someone calls the Cheeto a Fascist.
Any other Swifties out there with spinning heads thinking it’s abhorrent that the Cheeto co-opted TSwizzle’s image and falsely claimed her support? That doesn’t feel above-board to me. Reeks of desperation. Has nothing to do with anything. Feels like a(nother) distraction. But what do I know?
About physical looks. Beauty *is* in the eye of the beholder but the Cheeto carrying on about him being better looking than Kamala? I am not voting for a candidate based on their looks at all, though these comments concern me. If a candidate can’t separate the substantive from the immaterial, is completely delusional, etc., it’s hard for me to get behind that.
Stage presence. The Cheeto reading from notes on a lectern is an alarming sight. Not that he needs the notes themselves, but rather how he reads them. Slumped on the lectern like a kid being forced to read poetry in front of the whole class. Like he is seeing the words for the first time—reading without affect…no verve…no pauses, inflection, or drama. No eye contact. I don’t feel confident that he has command of key issues if this is how he presents himself/them.
If it’s true that the average person has a 47 second attention span (as I recently read but didn’t fact check), that points to one thing that’s wrong with politics…we need substantive sound bites. These long-winded meandering diatribes are one big distraction. Which maybe is the point. When we say “the average person has a 47 second attention span” we give people permission to be average and to check out at the 48th second. How we receive and process information has changed, but we need to find a way to hold people’s attention for as long as it takes to succinctly and comprehensively share a message. 47 seconds is barely enough to give context let alone substance. And that’s why so much is taken out of context, is misshapen, misused, misrepresented…grrr… If you ask me we need to figure a way to bring back the long-form attention span. So maybe that’s why I am writing long here. Forcing focus past the 47-second mark. Training you for big things to come. 🤣
It might just be me, but watching and listening to the speeches at the DNC sound to me like people looking to build things up vs tear them down. I feel like democracy as originally defined by our Founding Fathers has worked (more or less) for centuries for reasons worth preserving…though we do have to adapt and evolve. Anyway, from the first three nights of the DNC:
Doug Emhoff’s speech was so cute. Sweet. Dorky. Self deprecating. Human.
The Obamas may be the ultimate power couple.
Hillary clearly puts service before self.
Tim Walz’ speech? Tim Walz’ son???
Settle down, Oprah. You aren’t giving Kamala away like a favorite thing.
It’s keeping me up way too late this week.
I really think this election is the chance for us to make a strong statement that will define our country for the next 250 years. I take it that seriously.
The Indigo Girls. Yep, they’re still on my mind this week, in a continuation/extension/whatever of last week. (If you missed it and need context, it’s here.)
We watched the amazing Netflix documentary about them called It’s Only Life After All (one of their best song lines) on Friday night as part of our pre-gaming for Saturday’s concert. On an Indigo Girls level, there were so many elements of their backstory that I didn’t know, so many blanks I had previously filled in incorrectly…and at a higher level, it gave me an appreciation (re-appreciation?) for the journeys and struggles of other people…we never really know…which means there’s almost always a place for empathy and compassion. On an interpersonal level, it allowed Kerri and me to explore some previously undiscussed pieces of our own back stories, to appreciate the different experiences and paths we took on the road to today, and how the five years between us is a big difference in a lot of ways. On a personal level, well, it reminded me that when I look back on something through the lens of today, it looks and feels completely different. We always see what we want to see—and that ability cuts both ways. We reflect differently in the world and the world is reflected differently in us…constantly changing how things look, ourselves included. It’s actually quite beautiful…when it’s not jarring and scary.
I answered the “what will I wear?” question by wearing my Ruth Bader Ginsburg t-shirt. That turned out to be the right call, based on the number of positive unsolicited crowd comments I got. I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t already committed to going home with Kerri I would not have gone home alone…still got it! (I kid.) (I seriously kid.) (Seriously.) (But the shirt was really popular.)
I can’t hear “Kid Fears” without thinking about that time I went to Disney World with my parents and one sister the year she turned 21. So I would have been 25. (No idea why the four of us went to Disney when we were those ages though as odd as it sounds now it was a very fun and funny trip and the memories warm my heart still…so I guess it was worth it, weird though it is!) Long story short, we’d stop at “The Shoppe” on our way to the now-defunct Pleasure Island and avail ourselves of a few warm-up $1.00 beers before moving on to the higher-end nightspots. As it so happened, one night on the walk home we were singing that song (a cappella), and while I don’t know which of us “negotiated” for the part of the Indigo Girls while the other was relegated to the Michael Stipe backup role, I do know that as we were belting it out a security guard on a golf cart “offered” to take us back to our hotel room…and I also know that the next morning she feigned a coughing fit while I snuck two handfuls of ibuprofen to help us get through a day in the beating sun at Typhoon Lagoon. 🤦🏼♀️ Ahhh…memories.
I’d been kind of following the playlists in the shows leading up to Saturday not to spoil anything but rather to get out in front of and mitigate any potential disappointment. So I didn’t know exactly what I was in for, but I had some songs I had crossed off my mental wishlist. So when Amy said something like, “Someone asked us to play this last night so we’re going to play it. I don’t know why.” it was only a second before I heard the first few notes of “Ghost,” which was one of the songs I was not expecting. Needless to say I was pretty much out of my mind. Long story short on the concert and the music: it untangled some knots for me and tied up some loose ends that I wasn’t aware were tripping me up. Perspective is a great thing. And so is a willingness to open everything up and reprocess it. While their voices have aged a bit (naturally, duh) they picked the right songs to accommodate those changes—and sounded great!
If you ever liked the Indigo Girls and they have fallen out of your regular rotation, I highly encourage you to revisit their catalog. I know for me, the opportunity to look back through the lens of today is a rare opportunity to go backward and forward at the same time…it’s kind of hard to explain (I’m *still* processing, 5 days later), but I suspect some of you will get me here. I made a playlist (didn’t put a ton of thought into it and kind of ranked it without agonizing) of my Top 31 IG songs (Top 30 is so predictable 🤣) and you can listen to it here:
Enjoy. And hit me up with what you think I got right (and wrong) about it.
Speaking of being wrong, when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong. But I’m not willing to say that I am wrong in my feelings about Melissa Etheridge, even after seeing her live. I have my reasons. Still not a fan-fan.
The one ginormous thing in the “pro” column came early in her set, when she covered the great song “The Weakness in Me” by the even greater artist Joan Armatrading. The song is so good, and her performance of it was so unexpected…and thus the moment was completely transcendent. Props for that. Here’s a taste of it, with apologies for video quality…I was too busy paying attention to film correctly.
ME screwed up her lyrics on “Closer to Fine” and then again on “Weakness” when she commented “Emily’s not the only one” or something to that effect to cover for her own screw up. Well, there are rumors that Emily has some memory stuff going on and if that’s true, that was just stone cold of Melissa to say that. And if it’s not true, it was still rude. I hadn’t noticed Emily screw up a single line, so ME calling her out like that seemed unnecessary bordering on slightly bitchy.
When the IGs came back on stage and sang with ME (on “You Can Sleep While I Drive”), at the end Amy gave her a big hug, but Emily turned and walked off the stage without even the most fleeting backward glance. Drama! Something is going on there. No love lost!
ME has a certain vibe that leads me to think “get over yourself.” Her vibes and my vibes don’t align…she is not, as *they* say, “all that and a bag of chips.”
She does have some good songs just the same, and I belted them out, because…I was at a concert for crying out loud! I don’t know her personally, so I can’t speak to her as a person—but I can say that I don’t care for her persona. There’s more to it than that but essentially that’s what my distaste for her boils down to.
I was out driving the other day and a car was weaving and cutting in and out of traffic…on its way to wait at a red light. And guess what it was? A Geico Claims car. They’ll probably doing some self-service very soon with that kind of driving.
Is it a trend for parents to drill (very) young kids in sports on steamy summer days? The other day when I was walking I saw a girl in a tutu being made to jump very long distances on one foot in a straight line (the straight line part seemed important per the adult leading the drill) and another doing ladder footwork before u turning and shooting a soccer ball. Last week I saw a toddler grab a sippy cup during a break between field hockey stick handling drills and I thought my mind was playing tricks on me…and then I saw the most recent (barely) youth sports training shenanigans, and now am wondering “is this a thing?”
Speaking of my walks, there’s a house near us that’s kinda junky. It looks abandoned for the most part, sometimes has a car parked on the front lawn, is in a general state of disrepair, and has a van in the driveway with the engine on the ground below it. I saw a lawn sign recently that said something about tile and painting and was so happy thinking they were going to clean things up. Well, yesterday when I walked by I saw an address (in a very small font, bad advertising form) on the sign…and the address was of *that* house. They were advertising their own tile and painting business. If your house and yard looked like a relative of a landfill, would you advertise those kinds of beautification services and expect to get business???
Might as well stick with the subject of my walks…I saw a discarded package from candy cigarettes on the ground and was absolutely shocked that they still make and sell them. Took me back to that powdery stuff they used to have between the candy and the wrapper, so you could really “smoke” them. Who else misses the good old days when you played in the street, smoking candy cigs, and never got a trophy for anything, let alone for mere participation?
Al Roker. I’ve been clear. I’m not a fan. At all. He seems like he’s kind of a jerk underneath it all. It was his 70th birthday Tuesday, so I was hoping he’d retire then and there. But instead he gave back the hat this kid made for him (rude), asked him his name (Jackson), and then called him “Chester.” The look on the kid’s face at the end of the clip is priceless, and the mom’s head was tossed back in disbelief, but this snipped missed it. F-cking Al. (This morning he said to someone “My dad used to say ‘We can’t miss you if you don’t leave.’” Take Dad’s advice, Al. Just go, already.
“The One When They Arrest the Doctors.” I’m saddened and sickened over these arrests in connection with Matthew Perry’s death. He tried so hard to outrun his demons…but there were too many greedy people willing to trip him and hold him down for money. Just disgusting.
Recently there was a local news story about a house fire and one of the witnesses was holding and petting a rat while being interviewed. Where do they get these people???
Speaking of news stories, how is it possible that some random woman almost “stole” Graceland???
I was surprised to hear that Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall died last week. I would have sworn de died decades ago.
Speaking of surprises. Sit down for this one, just in case you haven’t heard it yet. Bennifer Part Deux are no mas. They’re back to being Just Ben and Just Jenny From the Block. (But seriously…was anyone surprised??? Anyone else think the wedding was a bad idea in the first place?)
Crop circles and alien life. Last Tuesday evening, we discovered this in our driveway:
…then we checked our Blink doorbell footage, where it takes a pic every hour, and captured this (suspicious looking) “vehicle” in early morning hours:
All of the mulch had been moved out of the bed, much of it to the driveway…in a seemingly perfect circular motion…the plants were largely untouched, and there were a few large feathers. Coyote v Hawk? Turkey? Alien? So strange. It was fine for a while. Until this Tuesday (cue creepy music):
Seriously. What is happening? In summary so far:
Happens only on Tuesday (two of the last two).
Happens only during the day (between 10A-2P the first time and 4-6P the second).
A UDO (unidentified driving object) was caught on camera one of the times. Related?
Yesterday’s Wordle word was “MULCH.” Coincidence? I think not.
We might need to get a new Blink camera and mount it to a stake…or put the phone in the window Tuesday and video/take time-lapse photos.
Got a theory? Hit me up.
Speaking of the house, I love sitting out back under the covered patio on all kinds of days but when a heavy rain surprised me on Monday I put down my Kindle, leaned back in the anti-gravity chair, closed my eyes, opened my ears, and breathed deeply…it was unexpected and amazing. Well, until the rain started coming in sideways, but still…soothes my soul.
I was recently invited to join a 50+ Job Seekers Networking Group. And while I am well aware with the fact that networking is the most likely path for me to find a job, I am skeptical that networking with other (old) people who can’t find work will be my best bet. Or am I missing something?
The other day I saw a post by someone I used to work with and they had a LinkedIn “headline” that said “Chariman.” So I sent them a nice message about their post, said that I hope they are doing well, and (also nicely) mentioned the typo. I would think someone who is trying to chase business but has a typo in their one-word headline would want to know that, you know, so they look competent and sharp. I know people make mistakes (there are probably at least a dozen typos in this) but in your one-word LinkedIn headline you *have* to get sh-t like that right, especially if you want any credibility. I feel like that’s the professional equivalent of spinach in the teeth…a touch embarrassing but you’d rather a second of embarrassment when someone tells you than discovering it when you get home from work and being horrified that you spent an entire afternoon talking to people looking like that. I know they read my message. I know they fixed the spelling. And I also know they didn’t reply with even a “thanks for the heads up.” I never much liked the person. Kind of an arrogant bastid. But you’re welcome just the same. (Ya dick.)
You need good people in your life. Friends. Family. Handy people. Landscapers. You like to think you can do it all yourself…but you never know when you’re going to need someone. And it’s a major comfort when you know exactly who you can count on when you need them. While ultimately we only have control over ourselves, life is not meant to be gone through alone, so pay attention to your people. (But don’t ever let any of your people take advantage of you. If they try that sh-t they are not your people.)
Speaking of good people, yesterday we golfed in an annual 9-hole tourney at Widow’s Walk, our Original Crime Scene A. Every year it’s a full-circle moment for us, and it’s also a friendly reminder of the power of saying “yes.” (And on the 8th hole I heard a sentence I’ve never heard before. “Nicky’s ball is perfect.” (I did hit a very nice tee shot with my 5-iron on 7 if I do say so myself. Go figure.)) A good time was had by all. Here’s the view from 8:
Thanks for being here so that I do not have to go on this weekly journey alone. It—and you—are so important to me.
I’ve really put your 47 second attention span to the test today. Thanks for passing with flying colors.
Love you too.