I’m glad I wasn’t planning on hearing heavenly voices singing to signal the joyous end of 2020 and to usher in the hopeful beginning of a brand. New. Year. So at least in that regard I sit here not in the least bit disappointed—yet marginally disbelieving how 2021 is unfolding. But alas it is what it is and the big show that is life must go on.
Only it can’t, really. Because COVID. And that feeling that I can’t wait to be free of, that of living life in a big ginormous bowl of gelatin. Minus the tray of tasty high-octane Jell-O®️shots.
I haven’t been able to go for a walk or get in a good workout in weeks. As someone who relies on activity for mental calibration, this imposed stillness within the stillness of the pandemic has proven to be a unique challenge. And that challenge is something I was totally not expecting yet somehow am completely prepared for. So there’s that. Yay.
Even so, the challenge may be part of the reason I haven’t been able to string a cohesive something of a story together today. Flip side is that this freeze frame of a life allows me to observe the changes around me in the micro-moments they happen in, reminding me that change is always taking place whether I notice or not. Whether I care or not. Whether I allow myself to grow from it or not.
It’s changing always, life is…but that last bit, whether I allow myself to grow or not, that’s the important piece, whether I sit and watch it go by or open up and allow transformation to happen. So I’ll share some of the picked-up pieces on transformation from my mental wanderings of late, and while even though there’s no start-to-finish “story” this week, there are lots of interesting (IMO) sentences, maybe even paragraphs. And there’s a certain important lesson in that…sometimes you don’t get all the chapters at once, and it’s ok not to know the ending.
These may seem random, but they aren’t apropos of nothing.
Because everything is apropos of something.
Anyway (the order these appear in is stream-of-consciousness, not ordered deliberately or with intent):
Realism isn’t cynicism. Not all facts are pleasant, and I’ve always said I prefer ugly truths to the most gorgeous delusions—knowledge is power and this is the kind of power worth hungering and fighting for. Refrain from misbranding people who tell it like it is as cynics. Most realists I meet are the greatest kind of optimists…in processing and understanding conditions in a logical and realistic way they set the strongest foundation for change, and believe that things can (and should) be better. People who want to go from good to great aren’t complaining. They see a better future and they’re willing to work to get there. If you’re not willing to join them, send them on their way. Don’t drag them down because you can’t see their vision, don’t get in their way pointing out the few “good” things about the shitty situation they’re trying to get out of. There’s no better ally than a realist with hope and a plan, so set your skepticism aside and hop on board.
It doesn’t always matter…because it always matters. YOLO, so yo gotta pick yo spots. When your view gets myopic, step back and decide if the little this really matters, if it is worth the nitpicking...because you know without asking that the big This does matter. So if you’re wrapped in the trivial and inconsequential, free your heart, soul, mind, and body, and move on.
Stay open to possibility. I’ll assert that I don’t like tv shows that are dark AF, yet on a trusted recommendation I watched, and (unexpectedly) enjoyed, Ratched on Netflix. I’m also rethinking my long-favorite bit of punctuation, the semi-colon. I’ve not been a fan of Malcolm Gladwell for quite some time, not since he and his Revisionist History podcast took my beloved Bowdoin College dining service experience to task. However in his MasterClass (which I recently watched) he noted his disdain for my beloved semicolon—either the sentence is over (period) or it isn’t (comma). I see his point. I’m not sure I agree. But I’ll think twice now before I use it; the point is valid. (See what I just did there?)
Cultivate and trust trust. Trust + staying open to possibility = unexpected (pleasant) discoveries. Isn’t it nice to be wrong when someone you trust (based on personal relationship or their expertise or some other factor) opens your life up to something greater, something better that what you were choosing (settling for)?
Even while sedentary, physical transformation happens. I’ve been doing air squats, and weightless shoulder presses, and—not to brag—totally transformed my sofa sitting with my office chair memory foam cushion. ComfiLife butt donut FTW.
Everyone is good for something. Thanks Ted Cruz for making this past Thursday go by really fast after a super-slow Wednesday, and for the reminder that truth is way stranger than fiction. The world is full of smart, funny people, and the world’s Ted Cruz meme and tweet game was rock solid.
To help process what you’re feeling, make up a word for it. Things and feelings that have a word for them seem to have more gravitas, more validity. And in this time of feeling and experiencing new things that we can’t quite put our fingers on, well, not being able to name or label our individual experience can make us feel even more lost in our own lives, in our own selves. I recently was speaking about progress on an issue being a good thing, but noted that how long it’s taken us to get here is sad. I was happy when someone pointed out that there is a newly coined term for that very thing—“sadgress.” I was happier still later in the week when I needed to coin a similar term, “sadlarious.” You know, to describe those laugh until you cry situations? Having a word for it made it real, because the word gave me something to connect my feeling to.
Actively appreciate and celebrate the special people in your life. I recently had an experience that made me consciously aware of and appreciate the fact that many people in my life aren’t “just” people in my life at all…they’re so much more. There are many many people with whom I have realtionshios that aren’t the longest term or deepest…but it’s so important that I don’t overlook how meaningful and special these relationships are. There are so many levels and forms of friendship. Cherish and celebrate all of the amazing people who fill your heart, who fire up your soul, and who put a smile on your face. There are no limits to love, so revel in every shape and form of it that crosses your path.
Lessons are hidden everywhere. When the Perseverance Rover landed on Mars I was happy to watch—it was a) super cool and b) gave me something to do. But I caught an awesome conversation in background as it was happening, and it was what I consider a exchange between what sounds like a leader and a team member; it’s what makes teams great. You hear one person say, “We did it. We did it.” And the response is, “You did, you led the team. You made it happen.” (I may not have caught it precisely, but this summation is accurate enough to make my point…you can hear it yourself if you listen carefully, around the 1:45 mark). What I particularly love about this is not that the leader led with “we” (good leaders know there’s no “I” in “team”) but the response which demonstrates recognition of the impact that good leadership has on achieving a vision. Good leadership isn’t a title or handing down objectives—it’s about inspiring others to make things happen.
Just don’t do it. For years (decades?) we’ve been motivated (almost blindly?) by things like Nike’s exhortation to “just do it.” And yes, there’s value in taking the first step—you can’t finish something that you never start, right? But what about all the stuff you do mindlessly, involuntarily? The stuff that drains you, needlessly? Why self-sabotage? A few weeks ago, and I wrote about it here ICYMI, I decided to make my social media experience more social, and part of that involved editing my news feed to silence some voices that were doing nothing other than getting me wound up. Yes, I could have just scrolled past…except I couldn’t. And anyone who has watched the docudrama The Social Dilemma has some sense of the nefarious side of how we’re fed information. But another way to look at it is to focus on consciously choosing what we do consume. Instead of doom scrolling and essentially ensuring yourself of a painful waste of time, why not use that time differently? Create an echo chamber of happy sounds and kind words and write the soundtrack to accompany your journey to something better, something satisfying, something that brings you peace. Let it come back to your sphere of influence and control. What do you need to just do—and what should you just not do—to make your sphere of influence the happiest (little) place on the planet?
I hope you’re happy, and if you’re not happy I hope you’re hopeful. And if you’re not hopeful, I wish you strength and peace. Reach out to someone. Rekindle hope.
Have a great week. Thanks for being here.
#10 is so important! I try to remind myself of this daily, as I find things that drain vs motivate me. Will be a lesson I take with me post-COVID, too! Life is too short to be consumed by the negative energy-suckers!
Love #7 To help process what you’re feeling, make up a word for it. I'm going to try that gem on my moody 15 yo son, who floats in and out of the kitchen a few times a day to ask "what's to eat?"