What's going on?

Since it's Wednesday, I'll answer that question.

It’s been one of those weeks when it feels like it’s gone on forever and gone by in an instant. I suspect it’s due to a condition I find myself with lately, a seemingly perpetual state of what I am calling “optimistic paralysis.” I find myself full of hope, inspired by possibility…but at the same time a bit paralyzed, at a bit of a loss about how to realize and experience it all fully, entirely unsure of what comes next. It’s putting my life into a weird time warp, things feeling stuck while my mind runs wild on overdrive.

But I think life starts when you stop being scared, so I guess the secret to getting myself moving is to stop being scared. If you don’t try you can’t succeed and if you don’t fail you’ll never learn. So I have to start trying and failing, all in the name of satisfaction and contentment, right? I need to get back to my natural state of “optimistic realism.” So whatever it takes is what I’ll do. Now “just” the pesky matter of figuring out what exactly that is…

And despite how stuck things feel, things are always moving…and so I bring you what’s been moving through my reading pile, across the screen of my tv, and whatever else I think of along the way.

What I’m reading…

Decent (but not great) progress on the book front. Giving myself a break on account of the aforementioned life/reality distractions of late.

Finished reading Four Thousand Weeks, Time Management for Mortals. It was great. Toward the end of the book, maybe in the last 1/4 or so, he talks about patience as a superpower. I felt that, in a way—I’ve long asserted that if I had a superpower it would be to control the hands of time, which I think is a relative of patience, maybe. In this part of the book (and I won’t say too much in case you read it) he describes an exercise where you have to sit and stare at a painting for three hours (Three? THREE? THREE???) Not long after I read that section I decided to lie down and do a nine-minute (9 minutes, a mere 5% of what the exercise Burkeman describes requires) restful breathing thing…and let me tell you this…if you doubt that patience is a superpower, go do a 9-minute breathing exercise and get back to me. Spoiler alert: it’s a grind! While there were times in the book I felt like he was belaboring the point (I get it already!) I stuck with it and my patience was rewarded. The book had—for me anyway—illuminating and useful insights right up until the very end. And to emphasize that point, well, I bought this book when I saw a quote from it in my favorite (besides this, obvi!) weekly newsletter by James Clear (the last issue is here) and it took until page 242 (of 245 pages, 999% of the way into it) to get to that quote in full context. Worth the wait? I think so…but I encourage you to read for yourself. We shouldn’t need all this permission to make smart choices related to things we value but alas that is the world we’ve created over the ages, where everything is assigned value, even the very basic way we measure our days—in time.

Finally finished Crossroads, by Jonathan Franzen. I shared my in-process thoughts on that the last time I wrote on Wednesday (here if you want a refresher) and my final summation of my experience is slightly less effusive. I like to draw my own conclusions, especially on a book I’m salivating about reading, but there definitely was some truth to the negative Goodreads reviews. There were parts of the story that stretched somewhere between 10-100 times longer than seemed necessary or useful or interesting. (Nevertheless, she persisted.) The ending was unsatisfying, even knowing that the book is alleged to be the first of a trilogy. Maybe the story would be better as a movie—it would have to get to the point faster. In any case, fini. And phew. (And yes, if there’s a next one I’ll probably read it.)

Started and finished The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett. It came highly recommended and then some of the people I was reading it in the company of were slightly less exuberant about it. I really liked it until the very end, which felt both rushed and arbitrary. Overall I’d characterize it as an enjoyable but unsatisfying read (on account of the ending). But the other day I passed a white and black woman and some kids talking in a front yard when I was out walking and I reflected on that scene relative to what I was reading…and while we still have further to go than we’ve come, I’m glad I live in a world where there’s been a (very) little progress.

So now I’m on to The Midcoast by Adam White (which came highly recommended to me by one friend so I put it on my list and then no sooner was it gifted to me by another friend the moment she completed reading it). In the meantime there have been mixed reviews but as noted previously I’m not often swayed by negative ones. I’ll happily find things out for myself. (That said, whenever I’m in skeptic mode, I’ll always happily take a positive recommendation as an impetus to getting me to open up and maybe even change my mind.) Anyhow, I’m enjoying the story and I’m liking all the local (New England and specifically Maine) references. The writing is simple and straightforward which I know can cause some folks who prefer more cerebral reads to give it a few knocks. But in the complicated world we live in, I like the clear language and straight lines. There’s a time and place for almost everything, after all, and sometimes you need a good story.

What I’m watching…

The Patriots. Is Bailey Zappe the new Tom Brady? Has Mac Jones seen the last of his starting days? Exactly how young is Bob Kraft’s new wife? Stay tuned as the drama unfolds this season in the NFL

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, the movie. Many years ago (a dozen or so) Friday nights were “Wine Nights” hosted by some friends—it included wine and food and lots of laughs and no driving home. One of those nights I was told we were watching this, and we did, and we were all laughing so hard I’m still surprised no neighbors called the po-po on a noise violation.

Anyhow, after one, maybe two more releases of short “films” like this, a full-length movie was released recently, within the last few-ish months. Since I loved the short so much I couldn’t wait to see it and it did not disappoint. There’s something special about how a stop-motion snail sees the world…and seriously I could relate to so many of Marcel’s feelings. I could really feel his one-inch tall shell feels.

“Have you ever done that before, like when there’s a party at your house? Sometimes it’s easiest to rest when you go off by yourself, and you can still hear the noise of the party, and you feel safe knowing there are so many people around you that you can have a rest.”

If you’ve ever been to a party at my house, chances are you’ve witnessed my in-home Irish exit once or twice. 😂😂😂

Fall means fresh new seasons of some of my faves, and of course that includes Jeopardy. I’m a huge fan of Ken as host, love the return of the live audience, and am looking very-much forward to the Tournament of Chanpions.

Beyond that, I haven’t been watching much so in a real DVR logjam are:

• RHOSLC

• Grey’s/Station 19

• Bachelor in Paradise (Cringe)

• Survivor

• Amazing Race

Listening…

I saw someone selling tickets to a show of this band on social and the offer urged “if you don’t know this band, get on it.” So I got on it and they definitely offer some cool, chill vibes.

The group? Hippo Campus. I’ve made it easy for you to check them out here:

I’m always looking for new artists and figure maybe you are too. Speaking of music, I heard from several of you that you were enjoying the Forest Bathing playlist I mentioned last week. And let me tell you this, that hearing from you at all is awesome…but hearing that I provided you with a small bit of auditory joy is, well, music to my ears.

Ba dum bum.

I’m here all week.

And a few random things…

Do you think Charles and Camilla have a big countdown calendar or clock (or both?) to his May 6th coronation hanging in The Palace? And do they fight about who gets to “check off” the day, like a couple of kids fighting over an advent calendar?

Been enjoying Cheryl’s Cookies and a cuppa, and this one is another for the “oh my god another thoughtful gift has arrived at my doorstep” files: got a box of deliciously frosted Fall-themed cookies what made them taste especially sweet was the fact that they came from a long-ago work colleague…making them that much more special. On the subject of tea, though —while we enjoyed many pots of it in Canada—it is still challenging for me to drink. It goes from scalding to tepid in a blink. It shares that characteristic with avocados in a way—a very small window of greatness. Blink and they go from stone to brown mush. But in any case thanks to Canada and the cookies (thanks, friend!) I’m taking time to enjoy the calming ritual that tea-drinking is, I think, meant to be.

And while I was hoping to give an initial report on my newly gifted Panda Planner, I am unable to at this time. After much (needless) worry about using the right pens and the right approach, I did convince myself that there is no such thing…as I was working through my quirky quirkiness I clearly saw that if I tried to work through it all the way, I’d never get anywhere, I’d never plan anything…and once I was ok with that, I still couldn’t coax myself over the hurdle of the horror of starting up mid-month. So after more anguish than I am sure it was worth, I plan to start on November 1—which gives me a bit of time to fret over the very things that I worked so hard to convince myself didn’t matter. 🤦🏼‍♀️ And so it goes…

Also, as you know I got shitcanned (actually I got laid off but I love saying and typing shitcanned for some reason and since I was laid off without notice it’s not wholly inaccurate 🤣🤣🤣) last month so I’ve been looking for work. I met with the head outplacement counselor for an intro session and I now keep calling her the outpatient counselor. Not-so-Freudian of a slip I suppose. Anyway and not to belabor the point but while I continue to sort everything through professionally, if you know of any (preferably remote) openings (full-time, part-time, contract) for someone who can talk to customers like we’ve been friends for years to capture large amounts of info, distill it quickly, and turn it into a compelling story that helps companies help customers—through new and/or improved products, sharper marketing messages, consistent and motivational branding (among other things)—I’m the person.

I’ll be honest, losing the job and any sense of a valid and valued professional identity has been hard…which has made me even more grateful for this creative outlet, and especially for your joining me here. I send you my profoundest and sincerest thanks for sharing the journey with me.

Hope life is being good to you. If it isn’t, reach out. I’m here.

Love you too.