I know the word “fine” gets a bad rap and it’s often said that “fine is never fine.”
I think when things are “fine” it’s another way of saying “things are ok, but…”
And what comes after the “but” is usually a whole lot of real life. Which should be ok, because life happens.
But first let’s back it up a bit and consider the word “fine” in a different context, like “fine china” and “fine crystal” and “fine bourbon,” three things that came into play yesterday.
Despite a resurgence of COVID that felt very 2020 (honestly, it’s popping up fast and furious in a sick game of viral whack-a-mole), the family Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. In fact, not only did it go off without a hitch, it went off great! My sister hosted this year as my nephew’s girlfriend’s parents (and their big but adorable and very well-behaved dog Hazey) were in town on their almost-top-to-almost-bottom East Cost drive from Nova Scotia to somewhere in FL, near-ish to Clearwater. My sis and bro-in-law are amazing hosts, and they worked their asses off to make sure the day was awesome. We see them all the time but their holiday hospitality is off the charts. Everything was delicious, and especially the stuffing, which was homemade. I have a key to her house and I know they are going out later…I may have to sneak in and steal a portion of the leftovers! It was a happily crowded table, it was nice to meet the parents, and every bite of food and sip of drink was perfection. Candles always make me a little skittish, but…here’s a just-before pic:
Things got a little hairy after dinner when the dad asked if I really had Blanton’s bourbon at home (something we had talked about earlier) and how far away home was. Since I did really have it and we’re just a mile away, god bless Kerri for driving home and getting it. I unboxed it, got some glasses, and we started at it. Me, the dad, and one of my nephews. When I noticed that the dad had folded the box, I was like “slow your roll, I need the box to bring it home” and he replied “there won’t be anything to bring home,” and then I thought “Oh, sh-t. Dude needs to slow his roll.” 😂 I think if he had his druthers, he/we would have finished it. No such thing as a “wee dram” in his vocabulary. 🤣🤣 He poured me one more last bit that I didn’t need but once it was in the glass I had no choice. 🤷♀️ But the Blanton’s is my special-occasion bourbon and since life is a special occasion, it felt like the perfect choice. And tasted it too.
We were enjoying our drinks and talking about music when “This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)” by the Talking Heads came on and my nephew started singing away. I was thrilled to learn that he loves Talking Heads and he enthusiastically told me about his girlfriend recently calling him from Cheapo Records to ask if Speaking in Tongues was the album he wanted and it was so she grabbed it for him. This led to a conversation about two great covers of the song (first the one by Shawn Colvin and then another by The Lumineers) which then veered into favorite David Byrne song territory—for me “One Fine Day” followed closely by “Don’t Fence Me In” and for my nephew it was “Strange Overtones”—after which we marveled at the fact that both of our favorite DB songs came off the same album, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. I like to think I’ve been a profound musical influence on his life but in any case I love his love of music (and his love of pretty much everything) and I love him. No fighting over politics in my family—just a frenzied texting of songs we thought the others needed to listen to over a bottle of bourbon. That’s my kind of Thanksgiving.
Earlier in the day I took my favorite walk and gave an enthusiastic “Happy Thanksgiving” to everyone I passed (and I passed a lot more people than usual…usually I might pass 2 or 3 people, yesterday it was a good two dozen people/groups) and I am going to say 100% of them were taken aback by my greeting, and maybe 25% of them seemed like they would have been happier without it. But it didn’t stop me. It was my favorite walk, it was gorgeous out, and it was Thanksgiving—they didn’t stand a chance.
So that was Thanksgiving.
I was thankful yesterday and I’m thankful today. I live a life rich in love and I want for nothing. So it should be more than just a “fine” Friday. And in many ways it is, but the truth also is that life happens and bad things happen to good people. Not that there’s anything super-heavy going on, but there is some stuff that we’re juggling and people we care about are juggling and I don’t think it benefits anyone when we don’t acknowledge and address the speed bumps of life. So there you go.
Some of the stuff going on has me thinking about and listening to the great song “Wait for It” from the even greater musical Hamilton…which has served to remind me that what happens, happens, and in the face of all that we experience, with all that we know and all that we don’t, we keep loving and we keep living anyway…and that’s the whole point. (And that’s probably why this song rings true for me on the regular…as I wrote about in the past, here and here.)
Apparently the secret of life is to keep living and keep loving anyway…because life, love, and death don’t discriminate. But it’s also not that simple. While life doesn’t discriminate, people do. There’s so much needless and painful discrimination and repression and hate in today’s world, and it’s become a dull ache in my psyche that I am tired of tolerating. Why are people so quick to forget to love? And why are other people hate-filled ignorant bigots? While I like to think those people are in the minority, that’s a hard thing to believe some days. Idiots.
Yesterday was a great day, but even so I’m all wound up today.
But it’s also all good. The sun is shining. I’m going to eat pizza tonight. We’re seeing friends tomorrow and Sunday. And, as I mentioned earlier, I live a life rich in love and I want for nothing. I get to spend this time with you, and I am grateful for your presence here with me.
So maybe things are better than fine after all.
Love you too.